I just cant enjoy my day if my wife is upset, sad, or depressed. Its even worse if I was the cause of it. However torturing ourselves isnt much of an alternative.
What you need to do is seize your manhood back from the b0rg, and to a lesser extent your wife. The b0rg can say all it wants about men being the head of the house, but in reality the WTBTS is the head, the man is just another enforcer below the elder level. Women "think" they want a Watchtower man running things, but at a very primal level they want something different. You MUST break the co-dependency cycle and be able to enjoy life simply because you want to, not because your wife says it is OK to be happy today.
I'll throw a website out there for you guys who want to try a totally different method of improving yourself and your marriage. There is a free discussion board and a blog, but I really recommend the books for around $10 bucks.
Its all about becoming a man that a woman desires on a very evolutionary level, and also helps you grow personally. It also will help you be in a great spot should your marriage end, whatever the reason.