Is my clinging on to a belief in a Creator doing me any harm?

by KateWild 105 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  KateWild

  I use the word clinging, as I feel that is what I am doing. As far as my knowledge of science, namely chemistry is concerned, I am satisfied there is evidence of a Creator. I am happy to believe this. But the clinging comes from the evidence that God does not care. He never answers my prayers, or has not answered my kids prayers. Suffering is a problem that the world has to encounter each and every day. People suffer at the hands of other bad people, and people suffer from natural disasters.

  Moving on from WT has been difficult for our family, we are still suffering at the hands of my ex, who is a JW in good standing. Me and the kids have stopped praying. I think this has helped us find solutions ourselves to our trials, instead of gullibly waiting on God to do something. I don't go to any Church or Synagogue, I consider myself Jewish as I was brought up. I don't believe the bible is from God, or that the OT and NT even go together.

  None the less, I am still satisfied that God is the creator.

  Is my clinging on to a belief in a Creator doing me any harm?

  Kate xx
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  designs

  Kate- you sound like you are moving in the direction away from a personified god to an impersonal force.
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  KateWild

  designs, you say I am moving. Do you think I am still deprogramming from WT, or my belief stems from my Jewish roots? Kate xx
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  Dismissing servant

  My impression is that you are still deprogramming, Kate. Just go easy with yourself. Give yourself time.....you don't have to always thing about theology/God.
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  DJS

  Kate,

  I can't think of any personal harm that would befall you if you left your theism behind. It took me, as I have stated before, many many years to leave my theism (I didn't have the Internet in all of its present glory when I was on my sojourn - if I had it wouldn't have taken as long). And as I have stated before, I like myself so much better now than I did when I was a Dub/theist. And it isn't even close. I am more tolerant and understanding, less judgmental and I do not waste any of my precious limited mental and emotional resources worrying about such, which gives me more energy to do other things.

  My son almost died in my arms a few years after exiting the Borg. While waiting on the medical ambulance I remember holding him and telling him how much I loved him and I simply wasn't ready for him to not be with me. It was several days afterward that it dawned on my at no time did i ask, pray or think of asking or praying to any god. I knew then that the circle was complete. I have developed many very close relationships since exiting the Borg; I have many friends and remain stupid crazy close to my two kids (both hate the Borg as much as I).

  I went back to college and have completed two degrees and am working on a third. My professional career has sky-rocketed. It isn't likely any of that would be the way it is had I stayed in the cult.

  Not to worry, Kate.
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  designs

  Probably both, its how we were all raised. I found the same journey taking place. Many of our Jewish relatives found the same delimma post WWII. How could their be a personal god in view of such a horrible experience. Einstein and other Jews redefined 'God' as the forces they were discovering through their research.
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  Finkelstein

  Perhaps your defining who and what a god (Creator) is by your own perception, outside of what

  other people have previously defined .

  .

  I think your just fading gradually out from your known state of spirituality which you have acquired in

  your past acceptance and learning.
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  Pistoff

  It sounds like you are feeling like it might be harming you.

  It is difficult to let go of the mindset that there is a personal god who cares for you and answers your prayers, but your experience is a good example of why it can be damaging.

  When your expectations of what the relationship should be vs the reality, the dissonance is hard to identify at first, and then it seems like you turn it inward, like there is something wrong with you.

  You'll know when it's time to let it go.

  The great thing is, you don't have to decide if you believe or not.

  Be undecided.

  But don't be afraid anymore that a god is mad at you, or will kill you, or put obstacles in your way.

  THAT is the great realization I came to.
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  cliff

  Take it slow, as others have said. There is danger in rushing to discover anything.

  One sign of wisdom is the ability to understand (but not necessarily believe!) opposing points of view symultaneously. Experienced debaters can do this. At school we were practised in the ability to be able to switch sides in the debate on (teacher's buzzer) command! Many laughs there .....a quick "on the other hand ...." in mid sentence then off at 180degrees!

  You may find that it is OK to carry on in your belief, but to re-examine it, a little at a time, when you find it conflicting with evidence that you see around you. Your interest in science and evolution may provide opportunity for this. Just avoid the word "proof" for a while.

  Cliff
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  KateWild

  you don't have to always thing about theology/God.- DS

  That is true, but I actually enjoy discussing the bible and philosophising about God. I am interested in what makes people religious and spiritual. I consider myself religious because I like to have religion as part of my life, even though I don't agree the bible is from God, I still think it is worth reading and discussing for a variety of reasons.

  Kate xx