Why do I bother to wake up in the morning?

punkofnice

I'm not suicidal just fed up.

I did think of suicide (briefly), but as there is no painless way and it's not something I would willingly do just in case things would have been better the day after. I do have a slight grain of hope.

Money problems.....problems at home (that's another matter with a son up court for something he is adamant he didn't do. First offence but the pigs police and the CPS have got charges made. So are the police fitting him up? I don't trust the filth cops...never have...not sure why, I just don't................so that doesn't help. It's like the sword of Damaclese over my head).

It is eating me away. There are more downs than ups.

I have a wonderful gf and we understand each other as we seem to have the same stuff going on.

Yet still I wake up in the mornings and think: 'Oh gawd, why couldn't I have died in my sleep?'

Life seems bland, austere and hopeless.

I think I just want the crap to end. I've lost my youthful optimism, in fact I'm 56 next week.

There is no god to guide and help me. I have wasted loads of my life in the filthy, vile, maggot ridden watchtoer(R) cult.

As the Sex Pistols sang: '...there is no future...'

Being a Brit and of the age I'm at I don't go for doctors, meds and therapy....can't bleedin' afford it anyway.

Moan over! Just ignore me..........

John_Mann

I have a strange ability to feel good even when I'm through deep sadness.

Being alive is what matters to me. Life will always bring interesting surprises.

I'm a nihilist.

quellycatface

Hey Punky, what's on??? Don't do anything silly. You need to be around your son and your lady. And us.

I really know where you're coming from, my love. I have bipolar. Sometimes I feel like an alien, a stranger in my own life. I wish I could buy you a pint and we could rant away!!!

Life in the UK is getting more crap by the day. What is work like for you??

What makes you feel good, recreation wise??

Much love and hugs.xxx

punkofnice

John Mann - My teacher at my senior school (back in the 70's), said my attitude was nihilist.

Quelly - Thanks. No. I won't do anything daft.

I enjoy creating art and music. I have a FB page dedicated to my music: 'the Grumpy Waiters'.

Apart from that I bloody hate life

Make Lemonade

I for one would miss you. Please stick around. You are a resource of information to me. I am not an atheist, but that does not cause me to dislike you. Just the opposite my friend. I Love honesty, integrity, people who are true to themselves. You fit those quailities.

Where I live it is easy for me to go for a walk and enjoy the beauty around me. With an hour of driving I can be refreshed by the ocean's beauty. I started getting into "birding". I have interest in gardening. Now I am focused on my business with the goal of retirement. Telling our story so others can benefit. Finding out about subjects I know nothing about (evolution).

You have a girl friend (awesome!). You are younger than me. There is so much to do.

quellycatface

I used to be scared of Punk.

He's a babe.

punkofnice

Lemon - Thank you for caring. I have no intention of doing away with myself all that much. Yes, I'm an atheist but wish there was a god. I miss the church and the hope I had but it isn't real to me.

I think I feel like the only light at the end of the tunnel is a train coming in the opposite direction...fast.

Sorry to be gloomy.

carla

I'm sorry Punk, hope things get better and they probably will! sometimes the only way to go from here is up, right? hang in there

punkofnice

Thanks Carla I'm waiting for my luck to change...that sounds very selfish I know......eeek

Quelly - Scared of me? Hahahah, now that DID cheer me up

transhuman68

Maybe you just need a change, punk. Go for a hike up a mountain, or spend a weekend in France... or just anything unusual that you don't normally do. Sometimes it's a good way to get a different perspective of your problems... life doesn't have to be blah; but sometimes it needs just a little work.

Why do I bother to wake up in the morning?

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