This is my first post

by Make Lemonade 126 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    You should know that people are listening when you speak. - Lemonade

    There are fools everywhere. I'm dealing with a co-worker right now who refused to listen. I got mad. Then I got logical. I set up a plan to deal with the damage this person has done and now they are feeling the pain. It's not like I didn't warn her.

    She's trying to make it very personal, but I'm paid to do the job. I'll get the job done and then we can deal with the personal stuff. As in, I'll never work with her on a project again.

  • Make Lemonade
    Make Lemonade

    jgnat: What you described in your work situation is difficult to deal with. I am sure that you could add more details that would allow us to have even more understand of how you feel. Also thanks for sharing the way you are handling the problem. I can see managing and coping skills. Nothing wrong with getting mad about what happened. I would like to know more about how you "got logical". Sounds like you found a solution that could help others with problems at work. My wife came home yesterday with her ongoing episodes with a difficult personality. She has always found a way to cope, but this personality is stubborn. Many times even the questions infer and assume untrue conclusions.

  • Make Lemonade
    Make Lemonade

    There was another person disfellowshipped because of the case we are involved in. It is clear that anyone who knows about what happened is perceived as a threat. The society acts in a predictable way. In our case three elders were moved in to deal with the mess created by the legal department. These elders have "hooks in their jaws". We know what they have to do and how they will do it. The most recent disfellowshipping was an act of oppresion upon a righteous person. This is how the "Watchtower dog hunts" to be sure.

    I earlier in this post used a Star Wars quote: "The more you tighten your fist, the more will slip thru your fingers". Those words are coming true more and more. Witnesses who have seen for themselves how the elders have and are responding to the direction of the legal and service departments, are more and more wanting to separate from the oppression. More are wanting to share their story. This is in a vicous circle now. It could end with the removal of all who can not live with the wrongdoing and cover up.

    Universally people respond to oppression. The internet is allowing individuals to share their stories. As more and more stories are told a clearer picture of the underhanded methods are being brought out in the open. More and more people describe the emotional pain that results from being a member of Jehovah's Witnesses. It is incredibly painful to go thru this process. I will return to explain why myself and a growing number are wanting to go public.

  • Make Lemonade
    Make Lemonade

    It is not my intention to put pressure on anyone in their course to exit Jehovah's Witness religion. That is a personal matter that each individual has to work out and then carry the responsibility for their actions. Also, no one else is in the exact position that we are in at this time. Since my views have been so radically changed from who I was in the past to who I am today, I have to recognize that I am a work in progress. Perhaps this thought will better comunicate what I mean: "the light gets brighter as the day draws near". Not applying this to the governing body, but to all our individual journeys thru life. I make the above comments, because I have observed that if I am perceived as "preaching" the benefit of the facts are lost. We want people to be informed of what happened so they can "carry their own load".

    Myself and others who are on this journey with me have put years into coming to grips with the facts. Legal, spiritual, scientific, etc. research is on going. Our view of behind the curtain is quite detailed because of our circumstances. For example: we received a subpoena from the N.Y. corp. of Jehovah's Witnesses. You have to admit that is a game changer. We did not have a master plan. It just happened and we simply responded to the events. One day at a time until we are now disfellowshipped and labeled "mentally deseased", "sly", "cunning", and more ( I would like to ask those responsible for these labels, Really?) We are thinking that the actions by the legal, service, and local elders, display a fear of what we know, rather than a desire to protect the flock. One fact we will hope to get out to the public is the way the shepherds treated all of as when we were sheep. Those facts certainly will back up our perception of their "pertectionism", "self-serving methods", and compartmentalism. This really comes into focus when you add the perspective of contempory court cases and changing new light. Very educational to cut thru the organizations public face and see the behind the scenes events.

    We have been made fully aware of the concequences of going public. These are some of the warnings from a professional in the trade, "you could find out there are even hidden consequences". "You might not like the story we tell". "We could spend hours filming and only include seconds of the interview".

    My family and friends have been under pressure for so long, we can compare ourselves to of a deep sea diver that has to surface slowly to prevent an embolism or a case of the bends. However, the pressure from not going public is greater than keeping it to ourselves. We have taken our time by talking to those we needed to. Family, friends, lawyers, and elders. We had a list and completed it in a balanced and timely manner. Gently, firm, and loving. Those who decided to be loyal to the organization said so. We acknowledged their position, but demanded our dignity in return. Many of our good byes were made with mutual respect (quite different from the garbage that these elders said from the platform. Bullying, to be sure). Simply put we recognize that the potential benefits of going public outweigh the consequences. Be warned elders and leadership. We are hopeing to make a difference. We are hopeing to help future victims avoid the pain you cause to your sheep. We are not alone by any means. We know you are aware. We urge you to take the high road. Free those you hold in intellectual prison. That would be so good for eveyone concerned.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Maaan, getting a subpoena from the JW corporation, that's a pressure-cooker for you and your family! The sooner you are out of all that and on with your life the better.

    I am sure that you could add more details that would allow us to have even more understand of how you feel. - Make Lemonade

    I might but I won't. I'll deal with the work stuff just fine. I've got a great boss. About me getting all logical. People fall back in to their default position when threatened. When I am threatened, I get logical because that is where I feel safest. It can be startling to those closest to me. I also happen to be a chess player. This particular co-worker I had felt comfortable enough with in the past to share what a strategist I am, and how hardly anything gets past me. So she has an inkling of what is ahead. I always have a plan. My plans don't fail because as a chess player, I have a strategy for every contingency. I am sure on the recipient's end it feels like they are in an inescapable vise.

    About your wife and that pesky co-worker. I help my daughter with those pesky co-workers who somehow manage to get under out skin every day. I advise my daughter, "Why are you still confiding in her? Spend time with people in the office you really enjoy." My daughter lamented, why does she spend so much emotional energy on these people who give nothing back? I used the analogy of players in "Canada's Worst Driver" show, who when confronted with a narrow entry, invariably hit the posts. Why? They are concentrating on the barrier instead of the road ahead.

    We spend far too much time thinking about the people who hinder us, rather than our ultimate goal. Really, they should be the wallpaper in our lives. There, but not significant.

    As you can see, this woman did manage to get under my skin. Grrrrr.

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro

    Make Lemonade,

    Sorry I didn't see your post earlier but just wanted to welcome you to the board. What a terrible experience you and your wife have had to endure.

    Looking forward to reading more from you!

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Sorry I didn't get here approx 24 hours ago to weigh in the most important issue here.....

    .....the PORK CHOPS!!

    Even though your wife said they turned out great, here's something to think about for future pork fests:

    *****************************************

    http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/news/20110525/cooking-temperatures-for-pork

    May 25, 2011 -- Just in time for the start of grilling season, the U.S. Department of Agriculture has updated guidelines for safely preparing pork. The USDA recommends that pork be cooked to an internal temperature of 145 degrees Fahrenheit.

    The federal agency says it is lowering the recommended safe cooking temperature for whole cuts of pork from 160 degrees to 145 degrees and adding a 3-minute rest time.

    That temperature should be measured with a food thermometer placed in the thickest part of the meat, then allowing the meat to sit for three minutes before carving or eating.

    *****************************************

    Welcome to JWN. I've really enjoyed your posts so far.

    Best regards,

    om

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    I feel a book written about these court cases that involve JW's with the behind the scene information would be very interesting to many current and ex JW's. I know many of the court cases you can find some of the documents on line but you don't get to hear about the workings behind the scene of the WTS and I am not talking about the actual physical abuse but the abuse at the hands of the WTS. So many JW's do not believe these court cases exist.

  • Make Lemonade
    Make Lemonade

    Open mind: My meat thermometer says Pork should be 185. No wonder it was so hard to reach that temperature. New thermometer for sure. My wife has told me several times not to go by the temperature. Just go by the time and see what the pork chops look like. I did bend the spatula a little getting them out of the pan LOL. If the spatula did not work there was back up. I bought the tool I mentioned earlier. It is a called a roto-hammer. You can drill and chisel concrete with it. I would have been able to get those pork chops out with that puppy. The best thing you have done is give my wife something to laugh about when she reads this. Good job and thanks

    Aunt Fancy: You have a good idea for a book. How to make it interesting to the non JW community would take skill. Also, have you read any of the testimony from the Compos case? It was hard for me to read it all at once. I am sure there are parts that I have not read to this day (I did read enough to bring it up in my deposition ). The actual abuse at times is just over the top bad. The part about it happening during prayer on a Bible study. I just stopped reading about the case for several days. Just did not want to go there. It kind of creeps me out a little thinking about an entire book on the subject. The author would have to put something practicle and useful into it. Like why and how a professional does things differently than the elders have done. In the Conti case you see a contrast between the elders and the authorities. Abrahamson and Clarke do their shepherding call with Andrea, Evelyn, and Jonathan. Then Andrea is interviewed in the hospital by a dectective and social worker. Big difference in the results for sure. The chapter tiltle could be "What not to do verses, what is helpful". The elders (and the direction from the service department to handle the matter as "uncleanness".) in Andrea's (Kindrick) case could be the example of what not to do.

    A chapter on how the elders could make sure the victim reports the abuse to the authorities. Maybe the book could say, "elders can offer to take the victim and family to the police station to make reporting easier (sorry, I laughed when I said to myself: "this book just went into the fantasy section") How about a chapter titled: Working with the authorities in harmony with Romans 13? In this chapter practicle ways for the elders to cooperate with different branches of government. Include parole officers, detectives, social workers, district attornies, therepists, and any other agency. In the conclusion this sentence appears: "Lets all pray about how as a community we can take these ideas to heart. By applying these loving suggestion from the Governing Body we can be asured that abuse victims will receire the best help possible. This will certainly bring honor to Jehovah's name and organization". Never mind that sentence should go into the Watchtower and BOE letters.

    Well it is hard to write a book to a large audience without wanting to include the details on how things can improve. We will have to work on that.

  • Make Lemonade
    Make Lemonade

    Doubting Brother: Thanks and No worries. Recently I have gone back to see experiences of people like yourself when they post. It makes things interesting and encouraging to see details of what others go thru.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit