Gay MS??

by andysmiles 65 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Seraphim23

    Hi andysmiles, interesting name of which I understand the meaning. I’m a baptised JW who is gay also but I’m well down the road from coming out and leaving the JW faith although I was never disfellowshiped officially. I am also still a believer in God, but my understanding of God is not the same as the JWs teach. I had my crisis when I was 19 and now I am 38.

    In answer to your question about Holy Spirit appointments of gay people, is that JWs don’t have it right on the whole gay issue anyway. For a start Sodom wasn’t destroyed because of gay people as Ezekiel 16:49 points out. There is also good biblical evidence that first century Christianity didn’t have a problem with gay people either. The book of Romans with its anti-gay verses has been twisted away from its context which was really about idolatry in fertility temples and so on. Even the word that meant gay that are in the bible has been translated away over time due to prejudice.

    So for this reason God wouldn’t have a problem with a gay person being appointed to anything a straight person would. That said I don’t think God is in the business of appointing people via the hands of others human being anyway. Certainly doesn’t seem to be biblical support for it that I can see. In fact it seems to paint the picture that when humans do the choosing, it often goes wrong.

    Seems to have been some very good advice already posted while I have been writing this, so I won’t go over what others have already said, except to say that one doesn’t have to reject belief in God and be a gay person who is happy. If you ever need to chat, I am here for you.

  • scary21

    Hi Andy, I am happy you are here. Be true to yourself, finding people who will love and accept who you really are.


  • Gypsy Sam
    Gypsy Sam

    A huge welcome and hug to you! I'm straight, but could never get on board with the dislike of gays thatI saw raised as a JW. I left this year and while freedom isn't free, it it fantastic! Wish you all the best!

  • patient

    Good for you my friend ... although not gay myself I truly embrace all and encourage you to free yourself of the BS this organization brings to your life ... be yourself ... it at times will not be easy but you will never look back ... my exit was painful but worth every tear! Thank you for sharing you have support!


  • fulltimestudent

    Dear Andysmiles,

    One of my best friends is a gay XJW, he's one of the nicest people you could meet. He and his Asian partner are well known in his suburb, as they are always together. If he goes shopping alone, people stop and ask him where his partner is. He's always elected to a position on the apartment management committee where he lives. And, everyone accepts them without the mean spiritedness of christianity.

    I study Asia, China in particular. Even there, the world is changing. Being gay was never a crime, but in the China of the past they were often hassled by the police.

    That video from 2009, shows that is changing, but even then the police stopped one event. But this past year they police gave them no trouble at all.

    Here in Australia, we have an election this week, and this next video, shows the support of the present Prime Minister (though he's not likely to be so next week.) But you'll see from the video, how much support there was for him on this issue. The video is from a national TV show.

    I repeat there's nothing wrong with being gay, and sleeping with someone of the same sex. As far back as we can go in history, and across most human societies we can see evidence of gay people. King James I of KJV Bible fame, was gay, so were other English Kings. Accept yourself! Don't spoil your opportunities for happiness for the sake of some stupid people.

  • krejames

    Hi Andy. I feel your pain and confusion. You are not the only appointed gay brother I was a gay MS until 2007. I'm inactive now. My circle of friends include a gay ex-elder and another gay ex-MS (the latter is still an active JW but is leading a double life). Already there has been good advice posted on here.

    I agree that you will never be happy until you become "authentic": I didn't feel at peace until the person I was showing to the outside world was the same as the person I am inside. I agree with the advice above that you should begin to surround yourself with people you trust, who can get to know the real you. And this ultimately means having friends who are not JWs. There will be some in the congregation that will accept you as a gay (but celibate) brother - but ultimately they will not understand what it means to be gay (the constant references to "struggling with gay feelings" or, as one elder used to say to me, my "emotional problems", I found extremely patronising and annoying).

    Your family, if they are like mine and others', will never fully accept your homosexuality as they will see it all through Bible goggles. You will eventually realise this is their issue and not your problem. You need to concentrate on becoming the person you are comfortable and proud of being. There is an American documentary that I found very interesting and helpful, "For the Bible Tells Me So", which is about devout Christian parents (not JWs) who found out their children were gay. I would recommend it. My story, if it's of interest or of any help is here

    Feel free to send me a private message if you want to. You will get a lot of support here as there are many others who have gone through the same journey.

    Take care James

  • Phizzy

    Hi Andy , you are amongst friends here, we judge people only on how kind and loving they are on here, if we judge at all.

    We have all sorts on here, all are welcome, and as you see from the posts above, we have many who have gone through exactly the same scenario as you.

    Please ask for advice and support on here as and when you need to, we are all here for you, and we wish you to find happiness and a good life.

    Find, and be, your true self.

  • konceptual99

    This is a sad story as it highlights the double standards of many people in the organisation. I can accept that the organisation has a view on the morality of homosexuality which they believe is backed up by the Bible. Whether you choose to agree with the moral judgement is another thing of course.

    What really irks me and has done for many years, even as a fully "in" dub, is the blatent homophobia. So many use their interpretation of the morality of the situation to simply go around verbally gay bashing. The vitriol and hate I have heard spat from Witnesses mouths over the years has been shocking. So much for hating the "sin" and not the "sinner".

    I have worked with many gay people over the years and been embarassed by the experiences they have had meeting Witnesses on the door and in their lives. Whatever you think of the morality of homosexuality there is simply no excuse for the hate speech that regularly comes from the mouths of many in the organisation.

    It's no wonder that anyone who identfies themselves as gay and, remarkably, still wants to live their life as an active and approved Witness must feel absolutely petrified at coming out. The judgemental and prejudicial attitudes they would have to face is appaling and certainly not Christian.

  • cantleave


    Homophobia is the norm amongst JW's. Even if you try to live a celibate life people talk and rarely accept you. But this non-acceptance isn't just reserved for gays. Our son is on the autism spectrum and we were told, outright, that he probably didn't have a place in the congregation.

    This cult engenders hatred, there is no love.

  • Zoos

    Andy, I wish your story was unique. But it's not.

    Watching your peers date, marry and enjoy life while you're left to hear how disgusting YOU are for existing is about all you have to look forward to in the WT organization. It's very isolating and very self-destructive if you allow yourself to remain in that environment.

    YOU SAID: When we had some from the hall for supper all the older men talked about how digesting it is that "homosexuals can marry now."

    It absolutely amazes me that these people; elders, parents, "friends", talk about homosexuals as if there couldn't possibly be one within earshot. I got in a heated discussion with my mother a few years ago and told her how much it hurt growing up with parents calling me names like, "filthy", "abomination", and "pervert". Of course she denied ever having called me those names.

    But I knew who they were talking about.

    Andy, you have been isolated your whole life. You need to know you're not alone.

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