Hello everyone, thank you for your time.
About me, I am being raised in a JW family. All of my family expect for one aunt, who had left but not disfellowedshiped thankly, are in JW. My father is an elder and so is my grandfather. I am still at the post-leaving (???) stage and have only a handful of friends outside the congregation. I still have doubts but I still believe and it's a struggle. I was baptised in 2008. I auxaliary pioneer in the summers and am a so called "good example" in the hall. It's nice having everyone like me and look up to me, but the thing is I am gay. Or as they put it a homosexual. Yeah, how shocking! I knew even before I was baptised, but being ignorant and young I thought prayer and God would help me... many nights crying in prayer hoping for help to overcome these improper feelings and immoral desires. The next year, 2009, I told my parents. It was a stupid stupid stupid idea!! My father and mother were useless and didn't seem to care. Infact gaining their approval again was simple and in a few months I was their good son again who had conquered this sin by prayer. I've been with two guys whom I really liked but guilt and fear of being caught totally ruined those relationships. The last CO visit he told me that Jehovah has really blessed me and then two months ago I was appointed an MS. Yeah, a gay MS appointed by holy spirit... how can this be possible?!? It shocked me, honestly at first when the elders called me in I though I was going to be found out. It's awful seeing many in the hall date freely and they even mock gay actors. When we had some from the hall for supper all the older men talked about how digusting it is that "homosexuals can marry now."
I am hoping for some support, to get to know you better, hear experiences and maybe someone can explain to me how me a sinner was appointed by holy spirit to be an MS.
Thank you :)