Protecting pedophiles while protecting children

by stillin 155 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  *lost*

  Stillin - I feel for you, that you are probably still in a lot of pain from your families experience, as are many, many people here, and in my opinion, I find emotional pain the hardest to bear, and the most damaging. Bruises and bumps mend easily enough.

  Are you feeling a recent resurgence of these issues, the feelings etc. Could be, and now maybe you are staring to get angry, and becoming active. Or the opposite, confusion, trying to make sense of everything. Only you know.

  The pain in this rotten world. The injustice. The sheer lunacy of it all ? I get that big time.

  Leaving the organisation, doesn't mean leaving God, or losing faith, I still believe in a God, every much as bit as when I was in. (confused about a lot of things too)But, now everything in life is so much better now. For me, it never would have been possible without this site and everyone here. Not easy, no. But oh, so much better.

  I once read, the horrors of childhood, tend to hit home with a vengeance in a person's late 30's ish.
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  stillin

  Well, this is anonymous forum. We have the best of the best and the worst of the worst here.

  It's funny; I put "Jehovah" on my search bar. I scroll down to "JW.net, a discussion forum for Jehovah's Witnesses" I click on it and I find you people. It's not just funny, it's hilarious!

  I hope someday to meet Simon, I get the feeling he's pretty cool.
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  jhine

  stillin , thank you for your honest and polite reply . I was harsh , but I did and do believe in what I said . I can't appologise for feeling outrage at reading that this man was allowed to go on and molest others . I am a mother and grandmother , and I could not ( and if I'm honest still can't) get my head around anyone being comfortable with the thought that a child predator was not stopped in his tracks when the chance came .

  It still confounds me the amount of influence that the org has over it's members . I am a Christian but would have no problem with reporting a paedopile to the police to bring justice to the victim and protect others . The Bible tells us to render unto Caesar etc and to obey the laws of the land , so to me the issue is clear cut . That makes me sound very smug and obviously for JWs the issue is not so clear cut .

  LOst you seem to have insight into stillin's situation and maybe you are shaking your head at my attitude and saying "you don't understand " and I suppose that is correct . It is just really scary that this organisation puts its reputation above the welfare of all of it's members , parents and children alike .

  Other religious groups have fallen short in the past ( to say the least ) but it does seem that they are learning and often it seems that it has been individuals in those groups making poor decisions , what is so awful about the watchtower is that the denial of problems is in the DNA of the org.

  DogGone you mention two groups on this thread name callers and those who put thought into their opinions , I am not sure which category you put me in , but I do not mean to offend , I really am trying to understand this complicated issue being discussed here and the Watchtower's part both practical and emotional ( as in emotional blackmail ) .
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  jhine

  DogGone , having read your post again , I think that you would put me in the name calling category , as in being judgemental of stillin and his actions . Yes I was . Anyone who has not been in the org really has trouble with understanding this . I posted in an emotional frame of mind , thinking that my child or grandchild could have been the next victim of that man and many more like him , going door to door . The blame lies with the Watchtower , and yes there is blame to aportion in this , I think that you would agree with that , but I must understand that the whole family in this situation is victim of the attitude of the Watchtower .
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  jhine

  stillin and DogGone , I will not wait for a reply , I think I know that I am in the insensitive category . God has got there first . I just listened to a sermon on the incident with the adulterous woman and Jesus word's

  " let he (or she ) who is without sin cast the first stone " I am in no position to judge anyone . I appologise .
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  *lost*

  Jhine - nope. lol. I think we are probably coming from a similar angle, as mothers, we will defend our children, it get's down to base nature for me, i will never allow anyone to hurt my children, it is the most awful thing for any parent to have to stand by, powerless, to do anything, only deal with the 'pain'. If apaedo ever touched one of my kids, that what be one less capable paedo in this world. Eye for an eye.

  It is totally unacceptable for children to suffer at the hands of adults, and be left to swing in the wind.

  I detest pain and suffering inflicted on people.

  But I have learned, living in this 'world' is like being in a sick game sometimes. The mind is complex, how ignorant and uneducated some of us are, because of the 'cult' we gave up so much, it does make one angry, it does make one upset, it does on times make one act irrationally. that is what emotions are all about, but still, in this modern day and age, the system is failing people in this area. mental and emotional health and well being is more important than physical health, I think.

  All we can do sometimes is , grit our teeth, and grin and bear it, and hope things will change.

  I rub people up the wrong way, we all do, it is natural, we are all so different and complex. We come from ancient tribal communities, for some, the identity of who they are is lost, and where they belong, they cannot figure out, there is no guide, there is no map. Things are sometimes just not as they should be.

  Education and training in life is everything. Knowing the game, learning how to play the game.

  Politics. farce. I have been involved with and witnessed some things first hand, that were very distastful. It is an old boys club, and change is the hardest thing because of the political sytems. Yet it could all be so simple. 'you can do more good and make more chnages if you get to the top' I was told, but I can tell you, it is a hard climb, I admire activists, it takes a lot of work and energy to do what they do.

  I do hope people realise, when we talk about paedo issues, how protected they are by the 'old boys club'. Do a search on books, true stories of victims who were dragged into the 'game' of sick perverse men, for their pleasures.

  Judges, Lawyers/solicitors, Police officers, elitist business men. they are a world wide network, and they are the driving force behind the problem.

  thankfully, a lot of it is coming out now. But, how long has it taken. Why does it grind so slow ?

  The police, are not here for us, they are here for the elites, their gaurd dogs, if you like. There is so much corruption. Will we ever know the truth of it all.
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  jhine

  Lost , thank you for those kind words .I'm seriously wondering if I should be on this forum . It is for ex JW's . I do not"get " so much because of never having been in the org . I had hoped that coming on here I could learn to witness to witnesses , and I have learned a lot , but I obviously have a long way to go and I ask is it possible for me to ever truly have insight into this world that is so different from my experience ? Getting so worked up about this issue and not being able to empathy with someone who was in such an unbelievably complex situation shows that I have a lot of changing of attitude to do and I do not know if it is possible for me .
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  Simon

  Just to be clear: while the WTS should monitor people it knows have molested children it should also report every allegation to the proper authorities.

  It is not the law and should not behave like it is. It's 'elders' are not even qualified and receive no adequate training. They are no more suited to handling abuse cases as they are to offer financial or legal advice.
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  DogGone

  Jhine,

  The intent of my second post was to provide a bit of support for Stillin. I felt he was being piled on - and not just by one person. It wasn't my intent to shame you. I appreciated reading your further emails and can certainly understand where you are coming from. It is an issue worth getting worked up about!

  There is blame with the WT, for sure. Even as individuals we grow and learn. As a society we are slowly learning. The lack of reporting is not unique to the WT or to JWs. However, I certainly agree that other institutions have been quicker to respond with positive change. Those who should be in a position to provide insight are too often, in my insignificant opinion, making matters worse. It has been said around here that DF’ing an abuser doesn't help society at large. I think it is far worse than that. You take someone with so dangerous a disorder, you discourage him/her from seeking mental health assistance, you cut off all social contact with established social support systems, then you turn him/her loose without notifying authorities. I can't think of a more explosive situation.

  One thing I feel I know is that secrecy is the absolute worst thing in these situations. In my dream world the secrecy about all of this would be long gone. That would take a social maturity I'm afraid is completely lacking.
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  DogGone

  Simon,

  Your post is very sensible. However, I think we are barking up the wrong tree. If we want mandatory reporting by religious institutions we need to change the laws. Only slightly over half of the States require mandatory reporting by clergy. Only 6 states, that I am aware of, disallow clergy privilege in the case of confessions (https://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/laws_policies/statutes/manda.pdf). I'm not saying cases where an abuser comes forward should be treated differently than when the information comes by another route - I'm just stating that they ARE treated differently under the law. We will have much greater success changing the law than the WT.

  In Canada, my own country, the Catholic Church published a booklet in 1992 stating "Everyone has a duty to report sexual abuse". Reporting has, evidently, been the internal policy since 2003. (http://www.cbc.ca/news/world/story/2010/04/12/vatican-abuse-guidelines.html) However, some provinces, it is my understanding, only require reporting if there is a child "in need of protection". The requirement to report does not extend to confessions of past crimes, whether to the clergy, a physician, or a counselor. I believe the argument is to enable abusers an avenue to receive assistance so as not to abuse again.

  Readers, please don’t flame me. I’m not advocating any given variation of the reporting laws. I’m stating what I understand to be fact about the law. It is my opinion that if you want real change get ahold of your political representative and make it happen. Flame me on that opinion all you want <grin>.