Welcome Ms. Fit. I am so sorry for what you went thru in the past ... May your present and future be filled with love and everything nice.
This is my first time. Please be patient.
This is pretty much how our molester acted when the Elders confronted him except he blamed demons.
I can't understand why child abuse is not considered a serious matter in the congergations. They df for adultery, for expressing a different view but a child molester just needs to tear up and say sorry I was drunk or the devil made me do it and the elders say ok just dont do it again. Apalling. Thats how my FP dad played the elders. These molesters are master manipulaters. They tell a sob story and make everyone feel sorry for them and forget about the victim.
Maybe if they had some women on their JC something would get done.
Miss.Fit - Ps can anyone yell me how you use the quote button?
Hi Miss.Fit, If you want to create a box and insert text within the box like I did above, click on the "insert new table" icon (3rd row & 1st icon on the left), wait for a pop-up window to display, for one box enter Cols 1 and Rows 1, enter 500 for the Width, select qoute for Class, and click on the Update button. To make sure the quote fits inside the post without slides on the bottom of the post, click somewhere insde the created box, then click on the "insert new table" icon again, and click on the Update button. The preceeding works everytime for me, but I do not know how it will work with the new JWN forum software. The JWN editor has glitches and it is a process of trial-and-error to find out how to get it to work repeatably.
Another option is to write your posts in Word (or another wordprocessor), and then copy and paste into the JWN editor. Most formatting should be correctly displayed by the JWN editor. If you are using a dial-up ISP, I would recommend writing your posts in the word processor and then copying and pasting into the JwN editor.
I hope that I answered your question and that this helps you.
Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,
Hello Miss . Fit, Welcome to JWN.
You voice something that I do not understand either. Why does the Watchtower Organization NOT CARE about child abuse and protecting the children and
turning the abuser over to the proper authorities, the Police and Law Officers?
I went to a JW therapist who was himself an Elder. He said if all the Elder's that did not qualify, stepped down or were removed at one time, there wouldn't be
enough left to successfully keep the congo's going. That was his observation or his 2 cent comment to me.
But, is there something in that? I know Elder's from the top down that are hypocrites.
But child abuse? WHY are they not concerned.
They disfellowship if you question anything. You have to be 100% behind whatever these 8 JW Popes pontificate on, and since they say they are God's
spokesmen on earth, then their God Jehovah likes child perverts more than he cares about the welfare of children. How can they say they are a Christ like
religion , when they cover up abuse, like the Catholics do? They are both the same. White washed graves. Disgusting. Jehovah's Witnesses cannot be God
sanctioned , unless Jehovah likes perverts and likes the Elder's that protect them.
I just wanted to clarify that I am a different Miss Fitt from this poster. Our names are very similar and I am also a newbie on the board so I think there is some confusion over this.
Do you think I should re-join the board with a different name?
Welcome to the board Miss.Fit, by the way! Great to have another newbie. You must have felt a misfit in the organisation, just like me!
I'm sorry to read about the dreadful experiences you have had and hope this board will help you to heal.
I don't have any experience of the issues you have faced but I wanted to add my support.
to the OP, I have taken a while to reply as I have thought a great deal about your experience.
You have siad that as a witness it gave you the courage to speak out despite the enormous pressure you and your sisters were under to remain silent. However have you considered what is the value of a religion that encourages confession but then does nothing to help the victims either legally or emotionally? Their focus is on keeping the reputation of the congregation clean and bringing a wrongdoer to their senses. To handle a matter such as this internally is totally inappropriate and not to warn other parents in the congregation leads to opportunities for reoffending. Your foster dad's feelings were put a head of you and your sisters.
If this had not happened within the confines of a religious group and you did not need a 2 witness rule, it seems to me that your instincts to protect your sisters would have led you to reach out to a teacher or adult who could help much sooner. If you had done this your Foster father would have been prosecuted, you and your sisters would have received counselling and victim support. Your step mother would not have been able to force your sister to accept cuddles from a child molester because not to do so would hurt his feelings.
I understand your fears of going into an institution and of being split up but what you experienced within your foster home was far worse. When we are in a bad situation we fear going into somewhere worse. However there is also the possibility of somewhere better. You have been let down by those who should have protected you whilst your own mother was suffering her own issues. I include the religion in this since your foster parents used their religion to paint your mother as wicked. The religion also failed to look after you not because they are wicked but because their own rules prevent them from offering real assistance to victims since to protect their reputation they have to deny access to legal and psychological services. Elders receive no training in how to deal with sex offenders, counselling, victim support or investigative techniques. They are taught how to determine repentance and the process for dealing with sin.
You have shown tremendous courage through your life but damage has been done and the religion is not blameless.
Lois and Nugget: thank you for your comments. You have given me a lot to think about. Nugget: your summation was so accurate. I have been in more denial than I thought.
Lois I agree. I am starting to understand.
MF: Great Minds think alike ...lol. sorry I took your name. I didn't know how to change it when I saw yours. Thanks for the welcome. Yes I do feel like a misfit. I have been in and out for almost 30 years. Im not sure if im struggling to leave or to stay.
Robert: thanks for the info. I will experiment.
Truthseeker: I am sorry you experienced physical abuse. I bet it was in the guise of discipline. I remember one time I got beat with a belt so hard that I had to lay on my stomach and my FPdad put ice packs on my backside to bri g the swelling down.M
Was your dad an elder? Do you think mental abuse is worse than physical?
I learned how to be sneaky and I was great at saying what people want to hear.
When I am posting I have to fight myself. I keep wanting to edit and gloss over things. I am not used to the thought that I can say things that will not reflect well on Jehovah. My first instict is to cover up. Ive been doing that all my l ife-even to myself.
It is liberating to know that others went through similar experiences and were able to share their stories.
"Missy"--that name is a good move. You are coming out and going away from an old skin.