Welcome Miss Fit. So sorry you experienced such trauma. Hope you will stick around.
This is my first time. Please be patient.
hello again miss fit---good to see you back--you posted on here last week
Miss.Fit, welcome. So sorry for your circumstances when you were young. That would be a lot to come through. Take care.
Welcome Miss.Fit. For as long as I can remember this Org. has always been very judgmental. Sorry to hear about your past. The future is always brighter. Again Welcome!
Christian Love. Affectionately: Brother of the Hawk ( I will surrender my mind no more, forever)
My mom decided that she was not able to raise us. Sh e wanted us to be raised by JWs and she wanted all 3 of us younger girls to be together. The FPs wanted children but they did not want her interference. They agreed that mom would sign her rights away and the FPs would raise all 3 girls and try to adopt.
They felt they could give us a better life. My sisters have never forgiven her.
Back ground: our real father had molested sister my middle sister A. Mom let the FPs know about that.
S we were all set with a new mom and dad who were JWs . The FP wanted to start fresh without the whole congregation watching Bd judging them. Some of the cong. Did not agree with the FPs decision to raise us, they felt it was mom's responsibility and that as soon as mom was well she should have us back. FPs did not agree. They did not want to get attached and then gave to give us back. They wanted a family and we were cute kids.
So we moved out of state far away where no one knew we were foster kids. We were given strict instructions not to tell anyone. We were welcomed into the local cong. FP dad was made an elder -something he had been wanting for a while. He had been grooming us to be a model family.
groomingus us kids to be model children since we were a reflection of them. No one knew how terrified we were of making a
mistake. He was more worried about what people thought of him than in serving Jehovah. He liked the status.
We were always on our best behavior because we knew what would happen if anyone made a negative comment. There would be interrogations involving the belt, the switch, fly swatter, over the knee pants down spanking. Switches were the worst. They left welts and really stung afterwards. Belts left bruises. Interragations included dunking your head in the toilet. Or under the fauset in the bath tub until you agreed or confessed. All the while we were being told how lucky we were and if it wasnt for them we would be in a state home
Sometimes the child was shunned. We couldn't talk to them , they had to eat in their room and not be with the family.
I tried really hard to be good. I tried make sure my sisters were good.
I found out when I was 12 that FP dad was molesting my middle sister for years. He would visit her at night. He would call her into his roomto take a nap with him. This was going on and I didn't know. We were so afraid .
Adults who molest children deserve to be shot.
I hope you can keep writing out everything and start to let pain release little by little. i'm just starting to write my experiences a little at a time, it's difficult to get started sometimes. But so many people say they felt better after they began writing out what happened to them.
Love to you, Miss.Fit
The worst part is the betrayal of someone you trusted. One of the worst beatings i got was for a percieved lie.
The only time we got positive responses was when we made him look good. I learned to bw a good JW. Great coments for my age. I could whip up talk in 10 minutes at age 10. I was good at what i did. JW was my whole identity. My life was a lie. I learned the meaning of hypocritical when I found out he was having my sisters lie about where they were. He would take them out in the boonies to park and they would say he was teaching them to drive. He was doing evil things and then beating us for small disgressions. He was going to meetings doing elder duties.
Was it wrong of me to be as upset about the beatings as the molestations?
When I was 12 l came home from the meeting to find my older foster sister crying. She had stayed home from the meeting with him to help him around the house. Instead he raped her. There was this routine he would use: He would say he could hypnotise her so she would be good and not get in trouble. Then he would go through the motions and she would pretend to be under because she was afraid of him. She did not struggle she submitted out of fear. I guess he had been easing up to thw big evebt and she had not expected hin to go all the way. She did not know how to stop him. When I got home and saw her she told me how much she hated the b*****.
Miss.Fit, what a nightmare! Have you had professional counseling? You're no longer a JW, are you?
What you have bee through is inexcusable. You and your siblings should contact an attorney and sue the FP's. I don't know how old you are or how long ago all of this happened, but it sounds as though you really have a case.
Meanwhile, be thankful you survived, and build the best life you can for yourself. Living well is the best revenge, truly.
Welcome miss Fit. I was never sexually abused but suffered years of beatings at the hands of my father. It seems that's what they do, although I could never figure out why? I know what its like to be young and powerless. Even after many years it still hurts. Now 28 years aprox after I was dfed
I have a great life. I never lifted my hands in anger to my children or wife for that matter and its turned out good so far.