My mother continues with these creepy letters

by sosoconfused 62 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Scully
    Scully

    I hear ya, ((((Josie)))).

    But playing the victim is her choice too. She chooses to be a toxic bully, and then claims her feelings are hurt when people don't want anything to do with her. Well, duh.

    It isn't rocket science.

  • sosoconfused
    sosoconfused

    @sooner - I literally punched the table when I read that part ROFL.

    what kind of idiot knows something is right in their heart but doesn't do it... o yeah JDubs.

    The thing is my fade was fast I mean I dont really think of it as a fade because we just stopped going and told people why so I dont really consider myself fading. With that being said you would think people would understand that I think it is a load of shit. I don't have any feeling deep in my heart that I think the borg is the way to go

  • clarity
    clarity

    SoSo ....... your mother is treating you like a 2 year old!

    Every word is calculated to make you behave & feel like a

    little shit!

    >

    Honey ... she is poison!

    Can you move away & don't tell her where???

    >

    We are behind you & wish the best SoSo

    clarity

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    [email protected]!!..

    Very funny!..

    My mother continues with these creepy letters..

    Be grateful she`s not sending you creepy pictures..

    Hey Big Boy!..

    How about coming back to the..

    Kingdom Hall?!..

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    I hate to say this but I dont have much affection for my mother.

    I so get that SoSo. My brother and I, and possibly my sister, feel the same way.

  • laverite
    laverite

    Soso,

    You write:

    I dont have much affection for my mother. Not just because of this fade but because she has always been obsessed with the org over her marriage and her children. I dont talk about personal accomplishments much but as a young child I was given the chance to go to a special school for free because of my tested intellectual abilities. I found out about this after I was married. She said she knew that if she let me go I would have not lived a life dedicated to Jehovah. Thanks Mom

    My sister was thrown out the house as a teenager because she wasn't progressing like the other kids in the hall. She came back pregnant and all my mother said was, "Inever thought that my first grandchild would be a bastard"

    Then there was my brother who was always the favorite. Pioneered / communter bethelite / full-time Bethelite / special pioneer with his wife. Always the apple of her eye.

    When I came along and tried to follow in the same footsteps it was never good enough. They lived 15 miles from me while I was in Bethel and never came to visit me once. However my lazy as brother was recieving nearly every dime they made while he was a special pioneer so he could have a nice car.Nice clothes etc... they even packaged FROZEN MEAT TO SEND TO HIM IN HIS ASSIGNMENT. WTF

    So all of this talk about hurting her etc... means nothing to me. This organization has raped her of all her resources and her common sense. There is nothing I can do at this point.

    I would so be tempted to send that to her if I were you. Probably not the best idea, but imagine what a reality check that letter would be. Enough to wake her up? Probably not but it would sure be powerful. Not suggesting you do that; just saying I'd be very tempted.

  • rowan
    rowan

    I've been following your posts, Sosoconfused, these letters could have been written by parents, another hemisphere and culture away. yes, it's a cult.

    funny how the blame always lays at our feet, eh?

  • sosoconfused
    sosoconfused

    @laverite - Seriously I have told her this. My sister who just got baptized a year ago and only did so because of the years of harrassment has told her as well.

    She says that she has never shown him or his family favortism. Yet in the letter itself she says that my brothers kid and mine had a "secret sister" pact. BUT YOUR CHILD TOLD ME. I mean - what kind of 8 year old should be keeping secrets from their parents. Apparently the witness one LOL.

    She is just under the impression that anything borg is good and everything else is bad. My wife is going through the same thing with her lifelong friend.

    The girl 1 year ago told my wife that she knows she will not be in the new system because of things she did... yet she broke down crying and sent the same come back to the borg letter to my wife that my mom is sending me. Shit is nuts

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent
    sosoconfused's mother's letter - Today, I prepared another blood card in case I have to have surgery. You were my second surrogate. With your views, how do I know you would follow Jehovah's direction if I couldn't speak for myself and Dad wasn't able to.

    Hi sosoconfused, Considering your family's dynamics, why would your mother put you as her second surrogate on her blood card? Is this some kind of crazy cult guilt trip, or is she hoping that you would permit her to have a blood transfusion?

    Considering how your mother raised you and denied you opportunities in life, I would want to write back that your mother should put your brother as the second surrogate, because you want to enjoy life without being burdened with regrets. What a choice follow WTBTS's doctrines and be free of your mother harrasing you, or continue to receive your mother's crazy letters in the future.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • Scully
    Scully

    Mother:

    It is with a heavy heart that I reply to your letter on behalf of myself and my wife and children, as the head of my family. Confrontation is not an easy thing for me to do, yet it is sometimes both the necessary and the healthy response when emotional blackmail and toxic manipulation is at play.

    Your being a messenger between my daughter and her cousin stops RIGHT NOW. The girls certainly have every right to communicate over the phone and by letter and it would be my fondest wish for their friendship to continue to grow and blossom, but you will not insinuate yourself into the position of go-between. I certainly do not wish to hinder their friendship as cousins, but I respect my brother's right as the head of his household to limit contact between the girls - that is HIS decision, not mine. YOU NEED TO STAY OUT OF IT. Do you remember the scripture at 1 Peter 4:15? "let none of you suffer as a ... busybody in other people's matters".Let me be frank with you Mother. I would dearly love for my children to have a loving, caring, respectful relationship with their grandparents, however, your meddling, toxic manipulation and emotional blackmail makes it very difficult to believe that a relationship between you and my children would be mentally and emotionally healthy for them. We want them to grow up to be reasonable, thoughtful individuals, they don't deserve to be mentally abused with thoughts of the devil and demons waiting to pounce on them for thinking outside the box. We don't want them to be terrorized with fears of Armageddon or being destroyed by Jehovah for making mistakes. THAT is the reason your contact with the children has been limited. YOU use every opportunity we have afforded you to turn our own children against us, to teach them that we are evil and following Satan, and that Jehovah hates us. Why on earth would we want our children exposed to that kind of hate mongering? What if our worldly relatives had done that to us when we were children, mother? Would you and dad have tolerated that blatant disrespect for your parenting of us?

    I hesitated to discuss my doubts with you and dad, because deep in my heart I knew you would not give me the benefit of the doubt and allow me to do my own research and come to my own conclusions. It was not and never has been my intention to behave like an apostate to undermine your faith or the faith of anyone else. The Bible itself says that we should be diligent in "testing whether you are in the faith" (2Cor 13:5) - that is a Christian requirement - does that mean the Society should be exempt from being questioned or "tested" when their publications seem to contradict the laws of love from Jesus? I am only doing as my Bible-trained conscience directs, and you seem to take offense at this?? Can you see why I would hesitate to disclose my thoughts to anyone, particularly when someone I thought to have unconditional love and regard for me, twists my intentions around and tries to damage the relationship I have with MY CHILD in the process, with scare tactics and lies about her father and mother "following Satan"? Could you be any more insulting and hateful?

    For whatever it's worth, my facial hair is my business. I have NEVER understood this petty and ridiculous "requirement" for Witnesses. Is it that it's the JW equivalent of what circumcision and having long sideburns was for Jews? A way of identifying other JWs? Well, I have news for you - we aren't Jews and Jesus' sacrifice released humankind from bondage to the Law of Moses. Should we therefore allow ourselves to come under the bondage of other men? If we are supposed to be "imitators of Christ" and Jesus himself had a beard, then what is the big deal??

    Please clarify, if you wouldn't mind, how Jehovah can even HAVE a "perfect organization" when it is being led by "imperfect men". Isn't that kind of like saying that we have to trust the Space Program to get a rocket launched when it becomes apparent that it is being led by The Three Stooges.

    Also, please clarify, if you can, why Jehovah would bless people with individual talents - for music or science or art or medicine - and then expect these individuals to ignore their God-given talents that would benefit their lives with immense personal satisfaction and happiness, not to mention the joy that they could bring to others who benefit from the development of their talents? What is so wrong with someone pursuing their talents and getting the formal education to develop those talents to their full potential? How many JWs "put Kingdom interests first" and are now suffering financially or are depressed because they could have pursued their education and feel they've been toiling at jobs they hate or that bring them no satisfaction while waiting for Armageddon to come? People have been waiting for over a hundred years!! People have no pension savings, no financial security, nothing to fall back on if something bad happens to them or their family. How is this a LOVING arrangement?

    You say that dad has shared my "issues" with my brother and sister. This offends me. You are both gossiping about me and my family, tearing me down, and making me out to be an apostate. You are destroying relationships that you ought to be trying to salvage at any cost. How is that LOVING?

    Quite frankly, mother, if it is your choice to commit suicide by refusing blood transfusions, I'm the last person in the world that will stop you. Please make sure to include me as your second surrogate.

    You asked me how Jehovah feels about what is happening. I hope he would feel that I'm using the brain that he gave me, and following the directions in the scriptures to "make sure of all things ... hold fast to what is fine" and following the leadings of the conscience he blessed me with. I have a family to think about, children of my own - and I want to be perfectly certain that the choices I make are for their long term benefit, where ever the chips may fall.

    You, Dad and the Society have done a bang up job of proving to me that all other religions are false, but I have to prove to myself that the Society is better than all other religions, because "imperfect men" as you acknowledge are running things, and all of the teachings have to hinge on the perfect law of Love that Jesus said would identify his true followers. [You don't even practice that law of love yourselves, considering how you shower affection on my brother as the favorite - he could do no wrong in your eyes, and yet I'm the one you choose to take the harshest measures with, time and time again. Sometimes you both make me feel that you would have been better off had I not been born.]

    Until that happens, I would only feel comfortable if our conversations focused on day-to-day mundane things rather than on spiritual discussions. I refuse to be drawn into a discussion of that nature when anything I say is going to be held against me and twisted like a knife in the heart. I can't trust you on that level. I hope you understand. If you cannot respect that simple request, then our relationship has to be put on hold until you can, as much as it pains my heart to do so.

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