Friend gets "scriptural divorce" over wifes transgressions before they got married...

by sosoconfused 81 Replies latest jw experiences

  • sosoconfused
    sosoconfused

    So I have a friend in a congregation in New Jersey who recently called me to tell me that he got a divorce. Nothing surprising there at first but it is the fact of when it happened.

    His wife began pioneering april 1, and after about three weeks she came to him and told him that about 4 years she had engaged in loose conduct (fondling the penis and the guy kissing her breasts) during a time that she was inactive. She never went to the elders about it and after the event occured is when she decided to go back to meetings and get her life together. 2 years later she met him and they got married etc...

    He said when she told him he wasn't very upset because it happened before she knew him. However the elders told her she could no onger pioneer - but then asked her if she told her husband about this before they got engaged and married. She said no. THe brothers then went on to inform him that because she had committed this act and didn't tell him before they were engaged to be married that the foundation of the marriage was false. (I was an elder for about 6 years and never heard of this happening.) He now had scriptural grounds for divorce. They let him no that in essence she lied to him and covered over a seriious sin and purposelly mislead him into believing she was "pure".

    He told me that as they described it more it really helped him to see just how serious the wrong she committed was. He said the brothers told him in front of his wife to go home and think about what his decidion would be. He said that after thinking about it, how she was hiding these lies from him and the fact that another man had done these things to her - he was repulsed. He said he forced her to describe what happened with the man in detail and afterward he just could not bare to touch her...

    He informed her that he was going to seek a scriptural divorce and that one of them has to move out immediately

    I kid you not... this is some stupid craptacular crap

  • J. Hofer
    J. Hofer

    omfg. this is sick

  • sosoconfused
    sosoconfused

    What is the most confusing aspect for me is that I have never heard of this happening before EVER.

    Also the fact that it didn't bother him basically until the brothers let him know that it should... I just sat on the phone like WTF dude. Apparently he said that as she described the act to him she seemed to almost enjoy retelling it.

    Personally even though I am married I think Iwould slightly enjoy retelling the story of me fondling the boobs of another woman if my wife was actually contemplating divorcing me over it...

  • Sapphy
    Sapphy

    How can it be a scriptural divorce if neither one has committed adultery?

    The wife should be writing to the society, or better yet, getting her divorce lawyer to write.

  • sosoconfused
    sosoconfused

    @Sapphy I have no clue. I wanted to ask , "So did she complete the HANDY JAY or was it just a teaser?"

    I do know however that if a brother who is married goes to a strip club and pays for a lap dance it is considered adultery. This was told to us by our instructor at the week long elders school.

  • SophieG
    SophieG

    That is twisted...

    Now I have to wonder if the guy committed loose conduct before they were married and she found out would they allow her the same scriptural divorce! I doubt it! They'd talk her into forgiving him.

  • cofty
    cofty

    The elders will be pulverised by the branch office when they hear about this.

  • Scully
    Scully

    So, does that mean *any* JW could seek a Scriptural Divorce™ if that kind of information was not disclosed prior to a JW couple's marriage?

    Frig, that means I would be eligible to have a Scriptural Divorce™ because Mr Scully didn't disclose to me his pre-JW dalliances before we married. We even had to go through an interview with the JW Elder™ who would be officiating at our wedding, and one of the questions we were each asked was whether there were any indiscretions that needed to be disclosed in order for him to have a Clear Conscience™ about doing our ceremony.

    This is some messed up $h!t.

    I bet you dollars to donuts if it was the husband with a "history", they'd expect the wife to forgive and forget, and act like their wedding day started with a clean slate.

  • JeffT
    JeffT

    Wow. I can't remember now what I told my wife about what I did in college before I became a JW. If this holds up she might have grounds for a divovrce. One more reason to be glad we left at the same time.

    I wonder if they're going to tell every potential convert that they need to 'fess up to any person of the opposite sex they might become attracted to.

  • sosoconfused
    sosoconfused

    The dude is literally a snot nosed crying mess. I mean come on bro you can't really be this pissed over something like this. It's not like she jerked the dudes business in the backseat of your service car. It was before you were with her. He is under the impression that they gave him - she lied to him from the start so its valid to feel this way.

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