My Parents Reply to my Letter (page 2)

tornapart

Really pleased for you Cofty. It's a good positive response and I really hope that it carries on and you can regain a good relationship with them!

Heaven

cofty, I am sorry to hear that your health is not the greatest at the moment. I enjoy your posts very much.

I am glad that your parent's reply to your letter was a positive one. I do hope things improve for you on both fronts - health and family.

In 2009 my Father was stressing the importance of me joining the Borg due to the imminent arrival of Armageddon. I had to specifically tell him I wasn't going to become a Witness. You'd think after 45 years of me not joining, he would have caught on. He didn't give me any more magazines after that. But his dementia was getting worse and I had to slowly take over dealing with his affairs. The following year, he told me that he doesn't understand what the Witnesses are talking about anymore.

My Father is now in a nursing home. He doesn't even mention the religion. But what does come through is his love for me. He is always happy to see me when I visit. He always tells me he loves me and I do the same. I always try to make him laugh and make our visits happy occasions. That is all that really matters. So while it is sad he has a brain disease, I see that blood is thicker than the cult he joined... am I am glad.

OnTheWayOut

Regardless of the reason why JW'S drop the hardline stand of "just following the rules" and start acting like caring human beings, accept it. Many of us were once the same way and changed.

I am happy that you forced an issue and got such promising results.

nugget

I am glad they responded positively to your letter it shows that sometimes challenging the behaviour is the best approach rather than pussy footing around their sensitivites. They behaved badly and you called them on that, in the circumstances you needed them to realise that life and family were more important than their crazy cult.

I sincerely hope that they improve from now on.

moshe

They must have had a very thin veneer of self-righteous shunning-- and you broke through it. Confrontation can work!- in many cases the ex-JW goes along with the shunning and the quiet victim just makes it easier for the JWs to keep on shunning. I once asked a member here if they were sending a mother's day card-- nope, mom (JW) doesn't celebrate it--" BUT those are the KH's rules not yours!!"

You can send your mom a card and keep doing it.

Heaven

I once asked a member here if they were sending a mother's day card-- nope, mom (JW) doesn't celebrate it--" BUT those are the KH's rules not yours!!"

You can send your mom a card and keep doing it.

This is an excellent point, moshe. When my Mom was alive, I would always call her on Mother's Day. She always liked that.

DATA-DOG

Cofty,

An Elder told me something he learned at Elder's school about DF'ing. The instructor said, " The Bible is very clear about DF'ing. We are not to have any contact with a df'd person, not even a greeting. The GB/FDS is technically going beyond what is written for allowing us to have necessary family buisiness with our DF'd family. Please don't make the GB regret making that allowance for us."

How sickening. That is what Jw's have had beaten into their heads. That is what you parents are trying to overcome. Maybe you could tell them you spoke to an Elder, ( someone on this site maybe ) and learned that the Shepherd book specifically mentions association with non-relatives. Your parents do not have to feel guilty about seeing you.

Dagney

...I do think we should not meekly "understand" the unreasonable behaviour of JW relatives. What harm can it do to firmly and respectfully have your say? We don't accept their rules and we do judge them for it - tell them.

I agree with this. Easier said than done, but I agree in taking control of the situation in whatever way a person can. I judge them as well for this ridiculous treatment.

Well done cofty. All the best.

Oubliette

Cofty: I have decided it would be wrong to post their letter here but it was basically a humble apology for their conduct with no excuses.

The fact that they acknowledged they were wrong is amazing. Good for you.

Hopefully you and your parents can make the most of whatever time you all have left in this life.

Best wishes,

Oubliette

mind blown

Cofty, I had no idea you were ill. I hope this unexpected suprise will relieve some of your burden. I send you healing thoughts and wish you further success with your parents......

My Parents Reply to my Letter

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