I sent this letter to my Parents.

by cofty 74 Replies latest members private

  • Quendi
    Quendi

    Thank you so much, cofty, for your letter. It was respectful, direct, succinct and addressed all the important issues without becoming maudlin. What I especially valued was your statement regarding no more association with the WTS. Your family needs to fully understand that this is a point on which there can and never will be compromise. Witnesses like to think they alone possess “integrity” when it comes to their issues, doctrines and beliefs. They need to know that others also have it and are prepared to stand on it just as much as they do.

    I also appreciated the fact that you did not grovel. I have read many accounts from those who are experiencing shunning about how when they see other Witnesses, they go out of their way to greet them. That is something I do not and never will do. I don’t care what the reasons are for their shunning others, it is wrong. But forcing our attentions on them is equally so. Our parting of ways was their decision and they should realize the full consequences of it. That doesn’t mean we are hostile to Witnesses when we see them or go out of our way to be rude. That is not Christian and certainly violates the words of Jesus when he told us to ‘love our enemies.’ If we are to love enemies, surely we can love those who used to hold us in high esteem and affection. But that doesn’t mean that we extend affection to people who have clearly indicated they regard us with loathing.

    I want to wish you the very best as well with your health problems. Having the support of your parents during this critical time would undoubtedly be strengthening, but you have the love and support of many others. We have seen that in the contributions to this thread. Rest assured, there are many others who will likewise support you in this.

    As you say, your parents will probably not respond in a positive fashion to your letter. I am sorry for them because they have decided to let others make their decisions for them and have chosen to strangle natural affection rather than embrace it.

    Quendi

  • DATA-DOG
    DATA-DOG

    Cofty, you broke my heart. I was just thinking about how none of us should judge each other, because we really can't grasp the full scope of what the other has experienced. Remember when I called you an asshole?! LOL!! Now I am in tears reading your letter.

    I wish you all the best. If I get Df'd, I will come see you. From one human to the other, I love you, even though we have not met.

    Peace,

    DD

  • twinkle toes
    twinkle toes

    Beautifully written Cofty. As a parent, it is so hard to understand how our parents can be so hard hearted. I really hope they come around for you. I hope you scans come back clear. thinking of you tt

  • humbled
    humbled

    If only they had taught you "not what to think but how to think" as you said you have done with your own children! Perhaps then your own parents would they have had a son they would be allowed to talk to and comfort, one who had had the free choice of baptism or not.Not that there is an excuse for this shunning--but there is too much pressure to go to the water.....

    A good letter for a rough situation. We wish you well, cofty.

    Maeve

  • never a jw
    never a jw

    Great letter. Definitely a step in the right direction, even if your parents don't react in any concrete manner. At least, something will bug their mind. We need more people like you who are willing to speak up and do it effectively.

  • jemba
    jemba

    Really good letter Cofty, much of it is exactly what I will also say to my parents one day. I love how you highlight that they worship the watchtower rather than God.

    I am thinking of you in your fight with cancer and hope it improves from here on.

  • GromitSK
    GromitSK

    The letter was spot-on IMHO. It is important that people understand the impact of the decisions they make. I think it is also important that you say what is on your mind so there is nothing for them to hide behind. It may be easier for them to avoid facing the consequences of their decisions because they have their buddies to lean on and reinforce their position. It exposes the cruelty and abnormality of shunning and the futility of it - either folks don't return or they come back under the duress of fear or isolation - great motives, I don't think.

    Hoping all goes well on the medical side.

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    Well done Cofty...well done

  • Jaidubdub
    Jaidubdub

    Very well written... Hoping all goes well...

  • Julia Orwell
    Julia Orwell

    I look forward to reading their reply if you decide to post it. I can't believe people could do that to you.

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