How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT?

booker-t

I am halfway through my Master's program in Psychology/Sociology and plan on being a therapist/sounselor. I left JW's in 1988 and I have never looked back. I enjoy my life so much after getting my AA degree, then my BA degree, and now I will soon get my MA degree. I just don't know how I could help ex-jws that just won't move on. I read some of the post and some of the ex-jws just say the same stuff over and over again and this has been going on with them for 10, 15, 20, 30 years. In Psychology we learn a person has to move on are else they will never heal. I am not downplaying the hurt the WT. has done to many of us but at some point in your life you cannot let anybody have that much power over you. I too was hurt, angry, and disappointed when I left but I moved on. Some of you say the same old things year in and year out. All of that could go into positive energy such as go to school, learn a new language, travel, just live your life. I think many people on this website secretly is "addicted" to the WT and cannot let it go. Some of you may laugh but trust me in my field you see all kinds of weird things. Some women have been divorced from an abusive husband for 20 years and still get mad at the ex-husband for dating new women. Why do you care what the WT is teaching, or saying in their magazines, and what their DC are all about if you left years ago. I had family members literally run away from me when I got the courage and left the WT and I was hurt so bad by that but I have moved on. Bottom line is you will never heal if you keep up with the WT and Jehovah's Witnesses. For some of you it is an addiction.

cobaltcupcake

So, what are you doing here?

DanmeraDinglebum

Wow, cold hearted "therapist".

"I've escaped the burning building, but that does not free me of the obligation of trying to save the others." That's how I feel. I have moved on, part of my "moving on" is being able to help others. If I was wasting my time, that might be another story....but people are waking up. I know for a fact, I am not wasting my time trying to help others.
I know for a fact, that I'm not the only one who is not wasting their time trying to help others.

unstopableravens

are you booker t the wrestler?

franticfran

I used to hear that a lot "move on" but that was usually from people still at the hall,its a bit like fallen into a barrel of oil and there are no handles and someone keeps saying "for godsake get out " not very helpful! I have just written to my daughter to say that for the first time in four years I feel am "moving on" and it is entirely due to the people on this forum taking the time to listen to me again and again and again. I am so glad I found this place and the people on it who dropped whatever they were doing and rushed over to give me a hand out of this filthy pit I have been drowning in for four years. I have made a realy lovely facebook friend here too. I wish I had had the courage to come here years ago. My daughter by the way is the director of counselling at a university here in Britain and lovely as she is as skilled as she is she couldnt hepl me. So try not to judge us please, just let us take the comfort where we can.

DATA-DOG

They can't be a project to you, or a client. You have to care about the person. Saying, " move on " is like telling poor kids to just move out of the Ghetto. They may not have the faintest idea of how to even begin to do that. Have you ever tried to teach someone to drive a nail, who has never picked up a hammer? Sometimes we assume that because we " get it " then someone else does.

I would say to be caring. You can't make anything happen, but you can be there and help those who are ready to take another step.

Peace,

DD

Pickler

To anyone who looked at my life, I would appear to have moved on years ago. No one even knows that I used to be a JW. And if they did, they wouldn't know what it meant.

franticfran expresses it well, there is something about being on here, people understand. And I feel like I understand most people on this board. It is helping a lot.

I really appreciate everyone who posts, I know many are doing it to help others, and it does, so thank you very much!

Phizzy

I think what you are saying is correct for many that have been on here a long time, me included, I AM kind of addicted. A lot of that is to do with having all my close family still in, it is handy to be up to speed with the latest nonsense so I can put the odd spanner in the works as we converse.

Eventually I hope to cause so much Cognitive dissonance that they just have to face up to reality, that may never happen of course, especially with the very old relatives, but the younger ones I have hope for.

I have moved on in so many ways, i do not believe one thing that the WT teaches as doctrine, and I have lost any of the emotional baggage I used to carry, such as being wary of non-JW's, what aload of rubbish that view was !

The ones I feel sorry for are those who have left but still half-believe some of it, still have fear of the Big A , for example, such ones need to help themselves, it only takes a few clicks of a mouse to find TTATT. Such ones relly do need to move on, by self-education.

OnTheWayOut

I am right there with Danmera Dinglebum in my answer.

Why do you care what the WT is teaching, or saying in their magazines, and what their DC are all about if you left years ago.

I sincerely hope my wife will wake up one day. I have pretty much given up on my mother, but she has a "worldly" husband and she will be fine in retirement allowing herself to be less and less manipulated by WTS. My wife's family is still JW and if I can help her to slowly let go of WTS's control over her life, she still has them to pull her back.

But even there, as a fully deceived JW, I was totally into understanding and applying the doctrine. Because of that, I am out. Now, I have taken the advice to "move on" at least to a degree. I don't read WT litter-ature ever. I don't try to understand the nuances of their tweaking the teachings, but just try to be aware of what's going on for the sake of my wife. The last thing I tried to figure out was "overlap doctrine" and that was enough to show me that it just isn't worth the bother to keep up with their changes.

In many ways, Jehovah's Witnesses could be a special study for psychology. It's a dangerous mind-control cult, but we didn't live in a compound (except for Bethelites) and we didn't have to give our young daughters to the cult leader. It's loosely mainstream Christianity warped into something urgent. It's CULT-LITE. But it damaged our way of thinking in a way that harder to undo when you come out. At least in a hardcore cult, you can wake up cleanly and know it was all wrong. Not so easy for ex-JW's. I see them all over the map in what to believe afterward. I have a facebook friend who still clings to Jehovah and the ideas of the Memorial and all, but just sees Watchtower as "led astray" the way Watchtower teaches that Christendom has been led astray. We see ex-JW's that try to fit into various Christian beliefs and always have trouble because they were taught that their teachings were wrong wrong wrong.

Even us atheist ex-JW's have problems every frigging Christmas. And going back to having family in, all birthdays and holidays make it difficult to "just move on." Do I get presents for others, do I make excuses to JW family or tell them straight up that I am celebrating? On and on it goes.

Honesty

Somebody call a doctor.

I'm addicted and can't move on.

How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT?

Share this