How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT? (page 4)

LostGeneration

booker-T, I know you have gotten some pushback from some on the board, but you just held a mirror up in front of my face.

Thank you.

ambersun

Sorry, but there is no way I would want to consult a therapist who asked how they can help people who "won't move on".

To me it is the same as a doctor asking a patient with severe depression why they don't just pull themselves together and stop being such a wimp.

Some people have been so emotionally damaged by their treatment at the hands of the WTS that they simply can't toughen up and move on as easily as you obviously think they should do.

LongHairGal

BookerT:

I see your point and there are some ex-JWs who carry around so much anger that they have to move on from posting here because they will be constantly reminded of the religion.

Others here HAVE moved on for the most part but like the forum. There are many newbies who like to read here. Some may be "out" but have family in. There is no "one size fits all"approach to what any one person who leaves the JWs will do. Everybody is different.

Black Sheep

It sounds, to me, like you want to use your degree to run interference for the bOrg.

villagegirl

The answer to the above is :"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."

Love this quote. What I find odd is people here who were never JW's

If you want to help your clients untangle from the WT, make sure they

read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz , he wrote many WT publications

including Aide to Bible Understanding, and he speaks the language of the WT

and unwinds the doctrines one by one, gently and effectively

and his books have freed I am sure probably millions.

Fear is what holds people to the WT, you show them something

and they say, alright but... yes I know but.....

Its a mental lockdown. It took me a good ten years after

I left to lose the sense of isolation, the feeling I was "different"

the feeling I "knew something special"

it is as is decribed in the famous Psychology Book,

The Drama of Gifted Child, by Alice Miller the child who is falsely

empowered, alienated, internally isolated, living out the expectations

of others. If you have not studied this basic psychology book I suggest you do.

frankiespeakin

Amber,

Sorry, but there is no way I would want to consult a therapist who asked how they can help people who "won't move on".

Yeah he does seem a little too insensitive and lacking in understanding to be a good therapist, that's why I would suggest he get himself analyzed first (to find out his blind sides and projections) before he trys getting all envolved with peoples lives as a therapist.

LisaRose

If you think the fact that people post here means they haven't moved on, then maybe you are in the wrong line of work.

The reason people come here are many. Sure, there are a few that are stuck in the victim role, as there are in any group. Others are here to show emotional support to those who are still struggling with the effects of being in a cult. Others come here to debate religious issues with like minded individuals. Some come here to tell their story, then don't come again. Some are still in, and come here to be able to say the things they can't say to their JW friends and family. Some come here to keep up with developments in the Watchtower world. Some come here to solicit advice in dealing with JW family or friends. There are as many reasons as their are people. The Watchtower likes to pretend that all us apostates are bitter, angry people. It sounds like you are buying into that.

TheSophist

^^^I was going to say something..But after reading LisaRose's post I can't but say she has pegged it. That is the answer to your question.

HB

I have never been a JW, never set foot in a KH, and have no friends or family who are in the religion, but nevertheless I have been visiting JWN more or less every day (bar holidays) for the last 5 years, and you could say I am mildly addicted.

I have a great marriage, 3 fantastic children, lots of friends, good health and a full, happy and comfortable life with no problems or emotional issues, and yet I still find myself being drawn back here daily to see what is going on in the world of exJWs. And I can see I'll be here for at least a few more years if not forever. I very rarely post but I read a lot.

My point is to present myself as evidence that just because a member stays here a while and becomes addicted to the site, it doesn't necessarily mean they are emotionally clinging to the past or lacking courage to move on from their former beliefs; I have no JW past and no harmful mind control to move on from, but I'm still here.

Like me, people might just choose to stay here because they enjoy intelligent discussion and love following debates, (and there are some very clever people here whose minds can dazzle). I am not a believer, but have learnt a huge amount about religion and the bible here which I find fascinating and I have so much more to learn. I also love the ambiance of the site, particularly the caring and supportive empathy shown to those in need and I love reading all your stories that show triumph over adversity. It's like a big family in some ways, squabbles happen and people come and go, but the good far outweighs the bad. It's much better entertainment than any TV soap opera and as educational as a good documentary .

There are obviously some who remain here for years because they need support or friendship and this site is probably as valuable to these people as any expensive therapy and what's wrong with that.

A deep flesh wound will eventually heal over at least superficially if proper treatment is applied, but it will always leave a disfiguring scar as a reminder. Unfortunately some scars do not fade and the damaged tissue underneath remains painful, and even the best doctors can only offer to minimise the appearance of the wound; it never completely disappears. I can see this site is like a wonderfully soothing balm for members who have to live with scarred memories and currently have pain in their lives, so I feel no one should blame these people or make them feel guilty for not being able to move on from being a member here. Not everyone has personal circumstances that allow them to forget.

Found Sheep

how do you help them move on? not by what you just said

How do I as a future "Therapist" help ex-jws that won't move on from the WT?

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