Thinking of having revenge on the jw girl

by spirituk 71 Replies latest social relationships

  • Emery
    Emery

    Hopefully this will help you. I had a JW girlfriend who absolutely broke my heart. I didn't eat or want to leave my apartment for an entire week, I was repeatedly thinking about her day in and day out.

    The girl knew how much I loved her but in the end she used me to gain all the benefits of having a boyfriend while avoiding the commitment. She told me she loved me but her behavior didn't reflect it. I was the one initiating all the contact and making all the plans to see her. I made every attempt to win her heart, whether it was by surprise gifts, helping financially, romantically, bonding with her family, etc. However, she was very hot and cold with me. There would be days where she would leave me completely in the dark by not responding to any of my text messages or phone calls. Only when it was convenient did she ever make plans to see me.

    By speaking with friends who had successful marriages, I learned that REAL relationships start out with fireworks and all you want to do is be with one another. Doubts as to how you both feel should not exist. The relationship ended after realizing that it was a one way road. The girl was absolutely beautiful, great personality and humor...we were great friends before we dated, this is what was the most heart-breaking.

    After much mourning and self-pity I made a promise to never let myself feel this way again. So I began reading about the psychology of dating. I was amazing to find all the red flags I had previously ignored. Red flags, that had I known about them sooner I would have avoided much heart ache. It was my fault just as much as hers for allowing myself to ignore the telling signs of a dysfunctional relationship. Understanding the psychology of dating is what helped me move forward. I learned many things, for example: if you make yourself too available or are not much of a challenge, you can kill your self-worth. Coming across as clingy, emotionally attached, jealous, or insecure are all signs of desperation that subconsciously damage relationships.

    There are many other factors which contribute to things turning sour. The biggest one you must accept is that there are people out there who are truly broken. Regardless of any sincere efforts made to sustain them, dysfunctional people can never be fixed. In the end, you have to educate yourself, move forward, and find true love elsewhere. I certainly did, especially when I honestly didn't think I could. It will take time to heal but DO NOT lower yourself to a stalker, or an obsessed ex. Stop being a wussie and be a man. Focus on yourself whether it be physically, financially, or intellectually...the best revenge is being successful. You will learn and grow from this--it will be another chapter in your life before you move on to better things.

  • EntirelyPossible
    EntirelyPossible

    I need some options of what should i do. How can i revenge her? i was thinking sending by fax our conversations and photos which she begged me not to show them to anyone . What other punishments do you recommend?Also ,what consequences will that have on her and on me?

    You could grow a set, act like a man and not an emotionally unstable psycho stalker for starters.

  • BroMac
    BroMac

    find another girl the pain will go away

  • perfect1
    perfect1

    Let say you do your revenge tactic of sharing your personal messages.

    No one will care abou them as much as you do.

  • Cagefighter
    Cagefighter

    MrsJones- Remember when we got into an argument months ago about some guy getting lit up for being a "dangerous stalker"? I think we can agree on this one 'eh.

    Spirituk- Seriously get some therapy this probably has something to do with your mother's afferction or lack there of as a kid. I am being serious, no sarcasm. It will help you grow a lot...This pain you feel is not her, it is something deep and dark in your past. She only triggered the pain and you are trying to stop the pain by hurting her and not the real source.

    A good therapist will help you turn this into a growing experience. What county are you in?

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    Wonder upon wonders yes I think we do Cage.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Horrible Girl Friends can be Replaced with a..

    Tuba..

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  • Fading Begins
    Fading Begins

    It find this discussion very enlightening and also kind of ironic. The majority of us, who are member's of this board have gone through pain, injustice, humuliation, cruelty, and disillusionment. This has been caused (according to the society) by a woman, our "spiritul mother", the borg. I would also state, that there are very few among us that don't hope, everyday to see in the news, something that will "out" this hypocritical, cruel, disgusting entity - that we once thought we had a very loving relationship with - and I for one, would in a minute, be front and centre, to offer any "evidence" that might bring the borg down. We haven't moved on, or we wouldn't be so quick to comment, as we do, everytime something comes to our attention that will bring some negative attention to the organization. I myself feel joy, and vindication when this happens.

    And so I find it ironic, when we have a (yes, noted, very small, minor) parallel in spirituk's story of pain, humliation and disillusion caused by a woman who knew exactly what she was doing, to our emotional relationship with the borg. She knew when she started into the relationship, she was going to break his heart. She let him go so far, as to spend his own money to travel to another country to visit her. Why didn't she put up the red light before he left - at least it would have saved him some money.

    Of course he should wait and think things through, but why is his desire for justice, revenge, vindication any different than ours. Yes, we can say that we don't want any more unsuspecting "sheep" to fall into the borg's trap, and we are still trying to get our loved ones to see the light, but why is this so different from Spiritun's thinking. We lament consistently that the borg never listens - eg. the child abuse issue of reporting to the authorities first, and two witness rule - and if they at least acted on that, we would feel some relief. So, why should this "sister" just walk away from her actions - at least two men she's knowingly entered into serious relationships with and left them out of "guilt" because they were "non-believers" - why should their not be consequences for her so that there won't be any more unsuspecting men falling into her "trap" and ending up like spirituk.

    Spirtuk lives in another country, and sending any info he has about the uncaring actions of this woman, is not "stalking", any more than us, using every weapon we have at our disposal to protect other innocent people from the borg is "stalking". I still beleive she needs to be held accountable for her actions, to protect any other unsuspecting male she might prey on in the future.

  • THE GLADIATOR
    THE GLADIATOR

    Cagefighter "Spirituk - You are trying to control her, she is a woman and she is going to do what every she wants to do..."

    Wise words. If there is one thing I have have learnt about women, it's that you can't control them. Trying to control them just makes them more stubborn.

    I have surrendered to mine and now just lick her feet as I scrub the floor. Anything for a peaceful life.

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5

    The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference.

    sending damaging information to this woman's elders mostlikely won't have the results the OP is looking for. What then? Stepping up to something abit more intense and perhaps physical cuz she deserves to feel the pain he's feeling? No, this should be nipped in the bud at this moment before anything stupid and irreversible happens.

    we're not taking about a corporate entity here. We're talking about an emotionally immature man who got played by an equally emotionally immature woman. Best just to cut all contact, move on and grow up.

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