My wife just told me to move out...

by nolongerconfused 86 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • TheListener
    TheListener

    Sorry to hear this nolongeconfused. I guess by all the responses and advice you can tell you're not alone. Many of us have similar situations. That's what's so great about this forum. In the old days we felt alone and didn't have a way to communicate to others all across the world who have had similar issues. This forum is a fantastic way to learn from those that went before.

    I had to stop talking about the TATT as well in order to save my family. I have kids and I wanted to be sure I was around to love and guide them.

  • Bella15
    Bella15

    you don't have any children ... sorry... it may hurt, but run as fast as you can... really!

  • BU2B
    BU2B

    My wife told me the same thing, why dont you move out?! I only married you because you were a JW! She ridiculed me and became very nasty when I said all I need from a spiritual perspective is a relationship with Christ. She literally stormed out of the house to my parents house and returned with them in tow, crying and grieiving, Imagine the scene!! I backed off quick because I do want to save my family if possible.

    This is how they are contitioned to react I think based on the similiar responses we all seemed to get when our spouses find out how we feel! I realize this is not her, but the cult persona.

    Dropping TTATT like a bomb NEVER works even if it is lovingly presented if our goal is to save our marriage. It takes skill, using questions, and great patience that not everyone has. I am attempting this approach now.

    Im sorry this has happened to you, I know firsthand how it can tear you up inside, and make us age like presidents. Dont move out, let her make all the moves, just be kind and loving to her, the opposite of how they expect apostates to act. Dont feed into the monster they will try to paint you to be. Also congrats on Getting your parents out! You are not alone, so many have been through, are going through or will go through the same.

    Stay strong- feel free to PM me if you ever need to talk

  • jam
    jam

    In the year of 1989 the wife (EX) told me, it,s me and

    the borg, we can not continue this marriage if you don,t come

    back, (borg). I loved her also, didn,t wont the marriage to end.

    But I could not live like that, leaving the room when a JW comes

    to visit, family members walking past me in my own home and

    not acknowledging me. For me ,it was the best decision I ever made,

    I,m with a wonderful woman now.

    Because I still loved my ex and I figured she would be fair in the

    divorce settlement, boy was I wrong. She took me to the cleaners,

    if it comes to a divorce, get you a lawyer.

  • flipper
    flipper

    NOLONGERCONFUSED- I'm sorry that you are going through this, it sucks big time. I was married for 19 years to a fanatic JW woman, so been there experienced this somewhat. I agree with Desirous of Change where he or she ( sorry not sure which ) says that the WT Society likes creating really good martyrs so YOU look like the bad guy and your wife will look like the suffering wife who needs to be pitied. It's the WT Society's goal to divide and conquer you as a husband & wife team and cause her to divide her loyalties between you and the WTS. Don't play into that. Don't allow the WTS to take more power from your marriage than they've already taken. I also agree with others that your wife is banking on you moving out so she can LOOK like the good person . Don't do it, I concur with others. If she really was trying to be a good JW wife she'd be what they call " submissive " and continue going to meetings herself. And not threaten divorce.

    That being said I'd ditch the anti-JW talk as long as you are together or any TTATT talk. It will make your existence easier while you are still together. OTWO makes a very good suggestion to seek marriage counseling if you plan on staying together. And if she refuses you may have a decision to make in time on whether or not to split. Hang in there, it's tough, but we all have your back man. We'll be here for you as a support

  • Pickler
    Pickler

    I'm sorry this is happening to you. If you know JW, which I think you do, then you know not much good comes from a "mixed" marriage.

    Ultimately it will be a lonely time for you, she will be getting support from the cong. I'm glad you have this forum and your family for support.

    Look after yourself

  • raymond frantz
    raymond frantz

    I'm so sorry you have to go through this ,I had to work slowly with my wife .Too much too soon is dangerous for people who have been indoctrinated for years .It takes time .As everyone else said ,stick to your guns ,don't move out ,ask legal advice and stop talking to her about religion .Only time will tell but I hope everything works out for you .All my love and thoughts goes out to you ,I will pray fro you brother ,have courtage

  • 2+2=5
    2+2=5

    All good advice here, nothing much else to say. I am just sorry to hear about your situation and I hope things work out for the best.

  • Honeybucket
    Honeybucket

    She has probably talked to her friends about this. And the whole moving out thing is a trap. If your apostate, then your probably doing drugs, watching porn and are into beastality. It wont be too long before you take a new GF if you move out. Therefore, she can have everything, the house, the car, the divorce, and the freedom to remarry because you moved out and got lonely.

    This is witnesses way of thinking. If you do one thing "bad", your probably doing all the other bad things too.

  • MrFreeze
    MrFreeze

    Funny how crap like this happens but they claim they are a loving religion. I'm sorry for you man.

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