My wife just told me to move out...

by nolongerconfused 86 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I am so sorry to read this. I do suggest you stop talking against the LIE!!!
    I do suggest you tell her you love her( if you do) If not I suggest you change
    your bank accounts,the elders will tell her to get all she can from you money ways.
    She is not allowed to have a marriage counsellor other than the organizations men
    But you have one thing in your favor they are men & In my marriage they sided with
    my hubby that HE was head of the house in EVERYTHING!!!!Good luck.

  • WuzLovesDubs
    WuzLovesDubs

    Yep. Dont leave and dont preach to her any more. The seeds are there. Let them grow. Now is the time to be loving and caring and in defiance of all the bad things apostates are supposed to be. Im married to a JW still after leaving in 97. (although we are getting a divorce now because he is cheating on me with another JW ironically) We reallllllly had to work on staying together all this time and one of those working points was agreeing to disagree. My leaving eventually helped get his mother out of the org and she was a dyed in the wool JW for 25 years. So give the TTaTT a rest and go back to being a husband. If she cant stand it...she has to be the one to go not you.

    Plus if you dont have kids, dont make getting her out your new project. Its also not loving to beat somebody over the head with your beliefs either as the JWs do to everyone else. Thats not a life.

  • LostGeneration
    LostGeneration

    What she wants is to stay warm and comfy in her house and bed, while you go off and scramble to find an apartment, pay deposits, rent...etc. And as others have noted then you either 1) Come to your senses and run back to her and the WTS or 2) Cheat on her and she gets to go marry a WT drone.

    Don't do either. Use their literature against them. Its something like "extreme spiritual endangerment" or some shit like that, look it up in the Gods' Love book (what a name for that piece of trash book) As others have mentioned back off 1000% percent, whatever your other hobbies or interest are, throw yourself into them. If she brings up religion, simply say you are not interested in that topic any more, as you have wasted enough time on it and change the subject. Let her go waste time in meetings and service.

    Doing these things will give you solid deniability if anyone questions about "spiritual endangerment" from this day forward.

  • ABibleStudent
    ABibleStudent

    Hi nolongerconfused, If you love your wife, Ditto what jgnat, OnTheWayOut, and other posters said about not moving out, contacting Steve Hassan through his website, asking your wife to see a marriage counselor with you (and seeing one if she doesn't want to), and contacting an attorney if your wife does not want to see a marriage counselor with you. You can talk with Steve Hassan or one of his coaches using the telephone number on his Help Reconnecting with Estranged Family Member webpage. Spending $100 now for professional advice from Steve Hassan will be a lot cheaper in the long run for you.

    I wish you and your wife the best.

    Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

    Robert

  • QueenWitch
    QueenWitch

    If you still want it to work, don't move out. She said she rather have you beat her? I hope you lovingly expressed your hurt at this realization. Maybe it's time to court her again? Can you plan various outings where you guys can have fun without any mention of religion? Like others said, I know you want her out but the seeds have been planted. Perhaps for now, religion is a subject where you both have to agree to disagree.

  • Gojira_101
    Gojira_101

    I'm sorry NoLongerConfused, everyone else has given good advice so I have nothing to add, but I will be praying for you.

    G

  • cobaltcupcake
    cobaltcupcake

    I'm so sorry you're going through this!

    As someone pointed out, in a WT years ago it laid out the grounds for separation, and one of them was absolute endangerment of spirituality. If you're pushing TTATT too hard, she may actually have grounds to leave. I'd apologize and hit the mute button on preaching at her.

  • nolongerconfused
    nolongerconfused

    thanks for the advise everyone...

  • NVR2L8
    NVR2L8

    When I first came out and told my wife I no longer wanted to go to the meetings she said that she didn't want to be married to a pagan. I told her I understood her disappointment but if she mentioned this again, she would not be married at all. That was her last attempt to leverage our marriage to get me to return to the fold. At this point in my life I was ready to call her bluff. Since then religion is not discussed in our house. If she brings something up then I do too...if she doesn't want to hear it from me she knows what to do. Shortly after we sold our house and bought another larger home she really wanted. Then I took her to San Francisco for our wedding anniversary. We went to Cuba at Christmas...in time our life returned to a level of normalcy. Still, we do not have the closeness we used to because the WT beliefs are wedged between us. I can live with this because I still have hope my wife will come to her senses and figure out the WT is a fraud.

  • moshe
    moshe

    Since it's all over between you two- I suggest you move a new girlfriend into your place asap- then she will be the one having to move out, not you.

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