My Son and I have about 5 Months Left

by bavman 60 Replies latest jw friends

  • PaintedToeNail

    bavman-I am so very, very sorry, words do not express how sad I am for you.


  • the girl next door
    the girl next door

    Do not give up on your son. One day, however long it takes, he will feel the guilt I feel. My parents divorced when I was 7. On my 8th birthday my father sent me flowers and balloons. I remember that I was told that I needed to write my father (a "nonbeliever" since my mom converted to a JW after they divorced) a letter quoting scriptures and the watchtower on why I could no longer accept any presents on any holidays from him. I did and my father did not call or send any gifts for more then 30 years. Even when I had my daughter, he did not sent her any gifts because he was trying to respect our effed up religion. Now that I am no longer a JW, my father not only sends my daughter and I gifts for every holiday, he also sends gifts to my step children to be. Your son may think he is doing what is right for him, he is at the age that his only friends are JW"s and probably who he has chosen as his future ex wife. Give him time and he will wake up, it maybe 30 years from now, but he will wake up. Always be there for him even through the pain you may feel. Hopefully you will not have to lose all contact and hopefully it wont take 30 years for him to wake up.

  • cptkirk

    I did this to my mother too....although in retrospect, i was just pissed at her and it was a convenient weapon. heh she was probably on this message board complaining about what a bastard i was haha. our relationship is fine now, better than ever. i remember when she showed me this old ass jw book with pyramids in it and all this....i was just thinking this is some kind of a trick, now i know the truth about russell and the rest of them. i think it can be summed up with that video posted of the GB signing bibles, they don't own god but apparently they think they do, and they put that in other people's minds also. maybe try and see if he has some kind of lingering resentment or something. i have no idea who you are or anything about your life but, that was my situation. i was angry about a lot of other things like i said, and used this weapon of the jws as an excuse in many cases.

  • fakesmile

    guys and gals, stop coddeling like it is over and finished. dude, you have 5 months to show ur son that having a father is better than a superfluous cult. i recommend showing you're kid that he has a real father. 5 months is not a lot of time but it can be done. i feel like i am reading posts from people who have given up on themselves and wallow in self pitty. you have 5 months to show JR. that dad cares. you can take action or concede defeat. ARE YOU A WINNER? repeat after me... I AM A WINNER. I WILL NOT LET A CULT OUT FATHER ME. NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES.

  • return of parakeet
    return of parakeet

    bavman, never give up on your son. Make sure he knows you want to be in his life and will continue to be his dad. Let him know he's worth every effort you make. If he really doesn't want you in his life, make him struggle to make that happen. Keep religion out of it -- be a dad first. Maybe the rest will follow soon.

  • Halo

    Really feel for you.

    I'd read Steven Hassan's books for any and all ideas.

    In the meantime do things together to create great memories.

  • label licker
    label licker

    Easier said than done when the cult can put limitations on how you can parent your kids. Not too much recreation and tons of meetings and service. I don't know what's worse a kid losing a parent or a parent losing a kid. Lets ask Mouthy what it's like to have kids and grandkids that are off limits to her because of society's limitations. Lets ask and eighty-six year old grandmother what it's like to live alone. That's the reality !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • label licker
    label licker

    Awesome advice Parakeet! Leave the religion out of it and be a dad first!

  • fakesmile

    llable licker, have you ever played chess? for every move, there is a counter. i dont recommend using a child as a pawn but checkmate this simple minded cult. you see, daddys dont just love their children every now and then. it's a love without end AMEN. george straight.

  • label licker
    label licker

    Tell that to all the disfellowshipped ones that you see protesting to abolish disfellowshipping. How's that working for them? I guess they wouldn't be protesting if they would have gotton what they were asking for and that's to have their families back. Sorry I don't live through games or songs

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