My Son and I have about 5 Months Left

by bavman 60 Replies latest jw friends

  • bavman

    Hello, I haven't been on here in awhile and it looks like a whole new crowd. I Disassociated myself about 8 years ago. Went through a divorce and shunning from most my family. I fought a legal battle to keep good steady contact with my son. We have had lots of good times. I got re-married, have a one and a half year old daughter. Life is good and I have adjusted except...till now.

    My son did get baptized somewhere in there. I decided today to ask him point blank his intentions after he turns 18. He informed me he wouldn't be coming to visit anymore. He said he respects my decision to leave the religion but in his view he will have to drastically limit his contact with me. He is not sure what he will do about his little half sister but that will have to be very limited also. He said this without much emotion although maybe some anger (mostly about not wanting to hear why I chose the path I did).

    I have dreaded this day for a long time and now we have about 5 months left.

  • cofty

    That's awful, I'm so sorry to hear that. Hopefully he will wake up sooner rather than later.

  • LostGeneration

    Damn. That really, really sucks.

    Dont give up! Plant seeds now while you can...

    What are his plans after school? Any chance of college? That may teach him how to think instead of what to think...

    Remind him that you will ALWAYS be there for him, no matter what happens in life...

  • GromitSK

    At 18 everything is black and white isn't it? Sometimes that can change very quickly when real-life takes hold.

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    The Jehovah's Witnesses religion does indeed break up families.

  • Satanus

    That is no doubt, a shock. What you said in return is important. For instance, if you didn't say anything, it could be seen by him as consent, or recognition of some legitimacy for what he said. You need to inform him that that is not acceptable to you. Never mind the age aspect. This is a family thing. You need to make a strong case as soon as possible.


  • BlindersOff1

    Sent you a Pm Bavman

  • Satanus

    No protest from you could give him a morally right thinking for this course. A balanced protest removes the moral right from him.


  • MrFreeze

    Sorry to hear that. Interesting how he says "I respect your decision." Judging from his decision to limit contact with you, I'd say he is not respecting your decision.

  • Satanus

    The jw doctrine is that one who leaves the religion makes 'the decision' that the rest of the jw family will stop contact w them. They blame the person who is leaving for the shunning the dub part of the family does. Jws claim that jw family members have no decisions to make in the issue. Its a sneaky way of blaming the victim, and removing guilt and responsibility for ripping up families from the dubs.

    Thats bs, of course. The dub family member makes or remakes the decision to shun family every time he/she does it.


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