Sickening Dilemma

by ItsMyLife 72 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • steve2
    Woman are stupid and desperate, especially ones in the truth. Her children need help before their innocence is taken away from them.

    Hi to "The Girl Next Door" - and welcome to your first post. You've been courageous to start on such a hot topic.

    Although you put it somewhat bluntly, you are identifying something that has been noted by professionals such as social workers and psychologists: Sometimes women know full well the offending background and behaviour of their male partners but those women don't seem to be very concerned - or they are too easily reassured by their male partners that they no longer pose a risk.

    At times these women appear extremely gullible - as if their love and affection for their male partners blinds them to the realization that child sex offenders are notoriously good at appearing to be innocent and reformable.

    I would not go so far as saying these women do not care about their children - although it may well be true in some cases. I think it has more to do with these women's 'faith' in the goodness of others and their male partners. There are also a worrying number of women who, knowing their partner is a sex offender, believe they can change him. Having worked in the prisons as a psychologist, I was stunned that imprisoned sex offenders usually had a lot of supportive bright-eyed women visiting them - clearly knowing full well why the inmates were in prison.

    Little wonder that it is often the case that the law needs to intervene to ensure children are safe from molestation because the mother has been completely blinded by her "love" of the very man she has let into her life and who could end up hurting her children.

  • Aunt Fancy
    Aunt Fancy

    Oops I should not post when I am half asleep!! I hope everything works out for you.

  • andrekish

    This happened here in the UK and the child molester, now in jail, didn't stop himself. Eventually one of his young victims grew up and subsequently reporting his molestations and rapes. Following this the man was arrested, hauled through the courts and the press and hailed of a monster.

    This man was the person in charge of checking child abuse within the congreation and carried on his assualts and rapes for 40 years until stopped. It would appear that some people who abuse kids are unstoppable without the police being involved. It would also appear that some who have paedophile thinking do not go on to attack kids but refrain themselves and possibly Jehovah will accept their non-activity in paedophilia as proof they can control themselves but I would bet this is the least likely of cases.

    For the protection of the kids involved and the future victims of this crime someone in some authority must be informed but, as was discovered here in the UK, you simply cannot trust everybody. It took 40 years to unravel the assualts on kids here so potentially the JW organisation is not the most reliable place to report this since the desire to keep things under the carpet and out of the media may be too great.

    Since I was at the receiving end of this kind of abuse by a completely different organisation as a child my opinion is that I 'would be marching into my local police station and reporting all of the details to them' but for the fact that it was a social worker who was involved when I was young. Trying to get any authority to listen and act is a task in itself since I found out to my own cost that NO group or organisation or authority can prevent paedophiles carrying out their acts nor properly protect our kids. Which ever way you go NO-ONE can be truly relied on to help as it simply takes a lack of tangible proof and reasonable sounding denial by the paedophile to prevent this ever going further.

    However, the one person who CAN be relied on in this matter will be the mother of the endangered kids. Take care in how she is told, if you tell her, so that she doesn't suspect your motives of being unreliable. It is a child's mother who must take the ultimate responsibility for her partner and her kids and it would be or great use to her to know. If her kids were later abused by this person and the Creator knows you knew of the danger then she would have to right to ask for the reasons for your hesitation in offering this information to her.

    I would definately report the elders of the congregation to the authorities. THEY are compounding the dangers to these kids with their notions of not bringing Jehovah's name into disrepute here. And their inactivity is unforgivable. In this regard they will have to answer to Jehovah himself. Our Creator created all of this universe based on love and joy of sharing it with everyone and everything.

    Paedophiles don't bring joy, nor does anyone who sits on this kind of information. Jehovahis not a God if hidden shame, He is a god of openness and protection and although I cannot speak for Jehovah as a parent I can understand how I would react. I would tell the prospective partner with great urgency. Being raised infoster homes and childrens' homes I know that having no parents to protect me was the thing that lead to my being abused so please, please, please inform someone.

  • clarity

    I'm with LouBelle on this one ... good!


    the girl next door .... a big welcome here!

    Love to hear about your story sometime soon.


  • jgnat

    William Penwell, people are not up for libel action if they talk to the police about what they've seen and heard. In this case, the contents of a file.

    Its my life, the police might pursue further if you have the lady's name and address.

  • Juan Viejo2
    Juan Viejo2

    If you can somehow get this sister's address, send her an anonymous letter. Word it in a way that does not state in absolute terms (unless this man is on an official pedophiles list - Megan's Law) that this person is a pedophile, but that you have information that leads you to believe that her children may be in danger if she continues her relationship with this brother and allows him to move in with her and her children. Keep a low profile and watch what she does after she gets the letter. Does she pull closer to the man, or does she show signs that she might be having second thoughts. You may see a combination of both responses.

    Also find a way to inform the police. A telephone call is often the best way. Yes, they may capture your phone number, but that is more for your protection than just an easy way to hunt you down. Police have been getting tips for decades using 800 toll free lines - and all show the calling number. I've never heard of a non-involved tipster being outed by calling one of those toll free numbers. It's not in the police department's interest to get a reputation for hunting down tipsters - soon they would have none. An anonymous letter to the police department would be a second choice.

    If the man is on an official pedophile list, don't even think twice - call them. Tell them you know he is a registered offender and that he is having a relationship with a single woman with small children. Don't accuse him of anything, just tell the police that you feel someone in authority who has the law on their side (and therefore protected from slander suits) should make contact with this woman, make sure she knows that her children are in jeopardy, and that the man has restrictions. Don't mention how you know - only reveal that if they really press you.

    If they do press you, then tell them that there are records maintained by the elders that will likely prove that they've known about this man but have failed to inform the lady or anyone else in the congregation of the potential threat that this man is to their children. Tell them that is standard procedure with elders because that is what the Watchtower organization orders them to do. That is why you are calling them because you doubt that any of the elders would follow the law and do it themselves no matter how critical the danger is for that woman and her children. With luck, if they can verify that the man is in fact a registered offender, then they can get a subpoena and confiscate those records. Who knows? There may be others in Hall that fall in that same category.

    Some states have laws that protect anyone who reports potential child abuse. You might want to ask the police or child protective services if your state offers that protection. If this fellow has a criminal history (in prison or an extended stay in jail), then you should do everything to keep your identity unknown. Men who have been in prison for an extended time spend much of their time learning and devising ways to "get even" without getting caught. So do be careful.

    Having been involved in law enforcement many years ago, I am somewhat familiar with the process of handling "tips." Sometimes the police will route you to a special desk that handles these kinds of calls and knows exactly how to handle them. Ask the police if they have such a "tip" desk. Be honest with whomever you speak to and let them know that you are fearful (whether you are or not) about what might happen if this man finds out who you are. Not only that, but that you will likely suffer repercussions from the elders at the Kingdom Hall because of their "protect pedophiles" and "punish anyone who acts without their permission" policies.

    Above all - think first of the children. Imagine them as yours not hers. Then do what you know must be done.


  • zed is dead
    zed is dead

    First, call the police anonymously.

    Then call child protective services anonymously.

    Then figure out if you still want to be a JW. If you do, DO NOT contact the elders about this. The weird thing about the current policy, is that the local elders CANNOT decide whether he is or not a child molester, that is all from Watchtower HQ now. (How stupid!)

    You do not have to contact his fiancee. Trust me, law enforcement and CPS will take care of that PRONTO.


  • skeeter1

    Find out where his fiance lives, and tell her. Do it anonymously if you need to, but you ahve to make sure that she gets it (not him).

    Use the Internet to find her. If that doens't work, hire a private investigator. For about $100, they can do a "skip trace". But, I don't think that you'll have to even go that far.

    Call the Department of Children and Family Services AND the police. CFS will most likely have an investigator go to the house and tell the woman the nature of the investigation. Ask CFS to report it to the children's natural birth father as well. His name has to be around in the birth records. Make sure that you follow up with the investigator.

    Remember, we start to die the minute we become silent. Martin Luther King.

  • zed is dead
    zed is dead

    On second thought, let the fiancee know NOW. The daughter might have been abused already, who knows? Do it anonymously if you have to, but do it!


  • james_woods

    A very disturbing situation.

    But, it seems that the original poster has decided to do what the consensus here is - find a way to notify the authorities and the people involved.

    There really is nothing else to do if you value your own self-esteem in such a situation.

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