Well, there you have it. The general concensus is to run.
I wasn't much older than you when I married my JW wife. When she and I was dating I remember a lot of peculiar things compared to the other girls that I dated. However, I dismissed a lot of it since I was an IFB and recall how we had very similar hang ups. But I was still surprised at how her own mom went and reported her to the elders due to our dating. How the elders threatened her mom that she would lose her privelege to pioneer because of our dating. How the other witnesses in the area were watching her and I when we were together, all under my nose. How her JW friends were treating her differently because of her dating me, and how her dad said that she was 'lowering her standards' because she was dating me. Most people I encounter at least gave me a chance and got to know me first before judging me to be a bad person.
If I had it to do all over again, I would certainly think twice about it. I am sorry to say but my overall experience with the witnesses has taught me that they are some of the most hypocritical people I have ever met. They judge you to be bad people because you are not in their little cult or because you celebrate the holidays. Meanwhile (at least as far as the witnesses I know are concerned) they want you to pay them money for any favors they do for you but won't offer a dime in return for anything you do for them (and they tend to ask a LOT from you). They won't vote or have anything at all to do with politics or the military (Satan's system) but are perfectly okay living off disability, social security, welfare, or a spouse's military pension (or their own if they were in the military in their 'former life') living off Satan's system.
During the early years of our marriage, I was astonished at some of her ways that was inculcated in her by this religion. Every year when she and I celebrated the holidays she would say things like, "I am going to die because of this, God is going to kill me for enjoying this." She equates celebrating the holidays to doing things like getting shit-faced drunk in the bars or committing heinous crimes. It is totally assinine. She did not feel comfortable taking our young daughter to soccer practice because her religion forbids it. When she and I went to a church together, she said that the demons were in the church.
It wasn't until I began learning more and more about this religion before I began to discover how dangerous this religion really is (and how equally dangerous other churches like the IFB churches were). Trust me, this girl's behavior that you are witnessing is a mere tip of the ice berg to the lunacy you will encounter if you continue to pursue a relationship with her. My wife and I have two kids together, read some of the topics I started on this board to get an idea of the struggles I encountered.
Here are some doozies:
- Encouragement from my mother to my wife during the holidays.
- What a witness may do if their non-JW spouse needs a blood transfusion.
- When my wife wanted to throw a costume party 'near' Halloween.
- My wife did not want to attend a company Christmas party with me.
- Mother-in-law's WT reasoning concerning why an anniversary party is okay but a birthday party is not.
- The book that will be read to your kids.
- Our JW babysitter taught our oldest child that Super Why is bad because they use magic.
- This one still affects her to this day and REALLY shows their hypocrisy simply because they love the MAGIC kingdom and my wife's favorite Disney character is Tinkerbell (doesn't that chick have a wand?).
Still want to get involved with this chick?