Im a non JW and i'm interested in a JW

by littlebigtown123 61 Replies latest social relationships

  • littlebigtown123

    I'm interested in this girl and shes a JW. I went to the meetings and I was bored out of my mind. I can see how the religion is very appealing to people. I couldn't careless because most religion are pretty similar. Anyway I went to one meeting in the weekends and meeting on the weekday. Anyway I have a 6 month plan of finding more about the religion. I am aware that JW is considered a cult, but I am interested in this girl.

    Here's my story. So we have the same class. We study everyday with each other. I hit on her instantly and she told me whatever we are doing is not a date. Before hurricane Sandy she text me about something , and I started telling her about my life and she was intrigued. Next thing I know is that I am calling her late at night. We would continue to study, but if touch her sometimes , she'll yell "dont touch me" . So i was soo scared to make a move on this girl. Anyway once in a while we would study and she would sit next to me and put her head on my shoulder or my lap, she say we are just friends. One day I took her phone , because she text very often, and she said "Kiss me!" I didn't know how to respond because i get traumatize when she say i get too close. This girl would say things like what you think a relationship should be, etc. She say she only sees me as a friend.

    One day I told her I was interested in her and she freaked out, avoided me a little , as far as touching, but things became normal. Finals happened and now we have a break from classes. Some guy was talking to her and texted her that " it seems this guy really likes you" .

    Now she has avoided seeing me in person and have been delaying all conversation and limit it to some phone conversations and text messages. Now shes cutting me off from phone conversations. I like this girl. I figure I give this religion a shot, because she's interested in me , or so i thought.

    Anyway its killing me, because I feel shes being hot and cold and is trying to keep her distance or placed me in the friend zone, she said shes not interested , but I really dont believe that. We are going back school soon.

    Anyway im checking out these meeting and reading all of this crap because im interested in this girl. Yes I know I should move on, but I really like her.

  • mrsjones5


  • DesirousOfChange

    Welcome, LBT123.

    She'd torn between having a fondness for you and the JW rules that (1) dating is only for marriage; (2) JWs are NEVER to date/marry non-JWs. It appears she is still pretty strong in the religion, and if that is the case, she's never going to ease up unless you become a JW as well. And for sure she is not going to get intimate with you unless she somehow really backs off of her JW morals.

    You better check out the religion more before you jump in.


  • brinjen

    First, welcome!

    Now for the bad news... Jehovah's Witnesses have a strict policy of not dating anyone outside of their religion. They believe in a doomsday (or amageddon) which is happening very soon and they will be the only survivors.

    When a Jehovah's Witness does date not only are restricted to other JW's but they need to be ready for marriage and can't have many ex's. If they make it to their third relationship... they are told they must make a decision and settle down soon. Dating really is supposed to lead to marriage but brings me to another point.

    Marriage is a little different to them than it is to the rest of the world. As a woman, she is told to look for 'spiritual qualities'. In other words, a baptised "brother" who is looking for advancement within the congregation.

    You mentioned you are aware we here refer to them as a cult. Believe me... it's not a word I personally take lightly. I grew up within this cult and can tell you personally that they are... they will make your life miserable.

    If you were to study and become a Jehovah's Witness and she was to become interested in you again... let me give a brief rundown of what would then happen.

    As you would be dating, people in your congregation would be expecting you to announce your engagement as soon as possible. When you go out of dates with her, you must not go alone... you have to take a chaperone with you. Sex before marriage is forbidden and punishable by disfelloshipping (what they call ex-communication). Bible studies count as dates btw.

    If you were to marry her, even then there are restrictions to your sex life. Certain 'acts' such as oral sex are also forbidden (even between married couples) and the punishment is again disfellowshipping.

    If someone is disfellowshipped, no one who is a Jehovah's Witness is allowed to so much as speak to that person. They must walk past them in the street as if they do not exist.

    There is more (which I'm sure will be pointed out by many, many more who will post here). Please remember that pretty much everyone who does respond will be speaking from actual experience as a Jehovah's Witness and many of us (myself included) grew up within this cult. It is an educated of an opinion as you can get.

    Still interested in her? Think about it... seriously.

  • OnTheWayOut

    The religion is a dangerous mind-control cult. Fricking Marilyn Monroe at her hottest isn't worth it if you have to join the Jehovah's Witnesses. Don't go to meetings hoping to "land" this fish.

    She's going through a phase of wanting a regular life including a boyfriend. This could lead to one good night of sex (if sex with the inexperienced is good for you). But after that point, she will feel guilty and tell you to join the religion or lose her. She will confess her "sin." The whole thing will be a mess of never-ending turmoils.


  • 144001

    Keep on flirting with what will be the worst decision of your life, and sooner or later, it will be. You're like a fly, walking close to the jaws of the venus fly trap . . .

  • Big Mama
    Big Mama

    No girl, no matter how hot, how wet, how finger-lickin' good, is worth getting into this crap-hole of lies called a religion. Mrsjones5 said it "RUN" fast and hard and long as you can from any sick deviate who has faith in this pile of deceptive, duplicitous, decieveing heap of bull generated waste.

  • OnTheWayOut

    ...and if you won't RUN for your own sake, don't put her through such turmoil. The best way to get her out of a cult is not to sleep with her or play games. The best way is to be straight-up honest and say you think she is unsure of her path and you are not prepared for anything further to do with her until she learns the truth about JW'S for herself.

    Then RUN for her sake.

  • Balaamsass

    Welcome! ....RUN!!!

  • Tameria2001

    Please listen to everyone here, and leave her alone. If you do, you will save yourself a ton of heartaches. I was raised in that cult, starting in 1974, when my mother became one, and I finally left it in 2001. One of the biggest problems I have seen is when someone who is not a JW becomes interested in someone JW. If you choose to go down this path and to stay with here this is what will happen.

    You will eventually become one yourself, but I will promise you, you will not be happy. Eventually you will decide to leave the JWs, but by then you and her will more likely have children. This becomes a whole new ball game. Once you become a member, if you ever decide to leave it, you will be facing shunning, that is where all your loved ones who are JWs will no longer talk to you or have any dealings with you. This will include your own children, if they have decided to become JWs.

    Or let’s say you do manage to get her to leave the JWs, she will be facing the shunning issue with her own loved ones. Most people are not strong enough to deal with that, and she will return back to the JWs. If you have any children with this woman, she will make things very difficult for you.

    I have seen it with my own family, and others many times throughout the years and the results are almost the same. Please listen to everyone here, and RUN, it will save you a lot of problems. Otherwise, you will be like so many others who decided to get involved with a JW, only for it to bite you on the butt later on.

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