Im a non JW and i'm interested in a JW

by littlebigtown123 61 Replies latest social relationships

  • TheClarinetist

    @littlebigtown123: Welcome to the forum, run away, and all that. Atheists are much more fun, anyway. :3

  • jwfacts

    OTWO - Fricking Marilyn Monroe at her hottest isn't worth it if you have to join the Jehovah's Witnesses.

    OTWO, you could have picked someone that wasn't old enough to be his grandmother. :)

  • jookbeard

    how many have said this "RUN"!, a whole load of pain , neurosis, psychotic lunacy from trying to live in their world simply wont be worth it.

  • zeb

    I have skimmed this only perhaps i missed this point.. what is her age? and yours may I ask. Please take on board all of the above that others have put in.

    She sounds quite immature. It became my observation that jw females are usually some years behind in mental maturity than females not jw.

  • punkofnice

    LBT -

    I'm going on a date with another girl, you're not all that interested in the JW girl then!

  • Vanderhoven7

    I'm going on a date with another girl

    And don't look back!

  • rip van winkle
    rip van winkle

    The witness is teasing you and playing with you because she finds you safe and harmless. It sounds like she's just playing head games. You should leave that kitten alone . Do yourself a favor and don't go to any more meetings or let the girl toy with your emotions, sexual or otherwise. Go out with your atheist girl friend. Have fun and enjoy your life.

  • nugget

    Good luck on your date I hope it goes well. Remember that love should be a two way thing you love someone and they love you back. Within the JW religion the religion always comes first and personal feelings and desires must be repressed when they differ from what is permitted. She is obviously struggling and is going against her religion everytime she is with you. However she is distracted because she knows she shouldn't be there and is worried about being found out. She is still very much controlled by her religion and as a result she is unable to love you as much as you love her. You will always be second.

    You are young with much to offer and you have a right to be happy.

  • sd-7
    I was going to weigh in on this person needing to hear from SD-7, but, SD-7 has already responded, and its likely that this person will ignore all the great advice here in pursuit of what he thinks is his own version of a spectacular piece of a$$ anyway.

    Ah, to be remembered so fondly! I suppose I've become something of a legend.

    Glad to hear you're going on a date with someone else. Whatever you do, don't leave the back door open for this JW girl. She'll have a moment where she'll try to sneak in. Don't give her that chance. It's very real and very serious, what can happen if you leave any room in your heart for her. I'm not saying she's some sort of monster; I don't even know her. I'm just saying that you don't want to lead her on about anything, so it's best to steer clear of her. She's going to have a very different perspective on dating than you as a non-JW will. So staying away from her will be better for everyone involved. Good luck. And may God have mercy on your soul.


  • mariu

    Alright, you may have changed your mind already, and there have been many postings and previous threads about this, but let me still add a little to all the great advice you've been given here. Someone else will be googling for this in the future. And a little repetition for emphasis doesn't hurt.

    I've been through this crap myself. About the same age as you. Back then, well over a decade ago, I was of course thinking I'm the only one going through it, this is a special situation, she's a special girl, I'm special for her, and we can solve this together.

    What followed was the most emotionally devastating year of my life.

    At the time, I had been depressed and struggling with a complete lack of self-esteem for a while. So I was vulnerable and easily ensnared by a pretty born-in JW girl who was just trying to stick her nose out in the wind and get a whiff of freedom – flirting with the world outside, going against the rules, but always afraid of going too far. The same hot-and-cold treatment, emotional games, blackmailing, guilt trips, all the nastiness you could think of. It went on for a painfully long time. I first decided to join the cult just for her (thinking I could fake it, failing miserably of course), then tried to get her out (failing miserably of course), getting more and more desparate. It wasn't pretty and in the end both of us were drained and whishing we'd have never met.

    Of course, I was lucky that it didn't work out – after all I'm now happily married with kids and no cult members within flamethrower distance. But to think of all the time wasted in total misery, at that age when I could have had lots of fun or at least done things much better for my mental health...

    So: Run, run, run away, right now.

    It's a cult, no matter what they say - cults aren't defined by funny robes or bearded gurus or strange rituals. It's all about mind control, and that's not something you can easily see (unless you've already had some experience with it). Unless the person you're interested in is already definitely on the way out of the JWs, stay as far away as possible.

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