Welcome! thanks for sharing your story.
Long time listener first time caller
Welcome and thank you for sharing your story.
DT, welcome to the board!
You don't need to feel guilty about anything. That's what the WT leaders want, it allows them to continue having a power over you even though you've long ago been disfellowshipped.
I applaud your understanding and forgiveness of your parents, especially considering the way your father mistreated you.
It's encouraging too that you've managed to make a life for yourself.
Have you tried to regularly and honestly reach out to your parents and siblings? Just send a card or a short letter letting them know what you're up to and how much you miss them.
A word of caution: Never discuss doctrine or JW beliefs. Just talk to them as a brother and a son.
Have you read Steven Hassan's "Releasing the Bonds"? If not, I'd definitely recommend it. It will help you understand some of your own emotions and give you some positive ideas for trying to reconnect with your family members.