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by Defianttruth 52 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Fernando

    A hearty warm welcome Defianttruth!

    Congratulations on surviving and thriving despite horrendous religiously inspired abuse and parental ignorance.

    A little maintenance from a good Psychologist can have an unbelievable ROI for you, your family and your business. CBT is awesome. Unfortunately some Psychologists are pressured by supervising Psychiatrists to "prescribe" addictive and deleterious drugs in conjunction with far superior talking medicine.

    Best wishes on your stay and journey here on JWN.

    If you just ignore the small vocal minority of haters here, and stay out of the odd scrape, you'll have a blast.

    A fair number of JWNers are inspired to great heights in the course of enjoying community and freedom of expression here on JWN.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Welcome Defianttruth,

    Thank you for letting us share, in the history of this, the journey of you life. We understand how far, you have come.

    Well done!

    Our love and greetings, to you, your wife and children, as well.

    Just Lois

  • Ticker

    Hey welcome. Glad to hear your story and I think it's a testament to those still in the religion that are lurking on this board that says great things do indeed happen to people after they leave the Watchtower.

  • Defianttruth

    To everyone: I would like to offer a big thank you. The welcomes are great. It is nice to be accepted by people who I enjoy a commonality. I feel so welcomed. I have read here for years and its nice to finally be a full member. This webpage has helped me through some dark times. Question for those abused by your JW parents. Did your parents treat you and your siblings the same. I don't know why I was singled out. It is the hardest part of moving on. Why me and not everybody. Not that I wanted my siblings to be beaten, I just want to know why I was singled out.

    Paintedtoenail: Thank you for such great advice. I don't know why I never asked my wife to read the issues of other former members. I think she may be able to see some normalcy in my attitude now. I think a thread for spouses, friends, and family could be helpful.

    ThisFellowCheap: Please write away. It is rare to find a mathematical mind with an artistic heart. Where are you studying? What are you going to write your thesis on? I wrote mine on commonalities of force equations. I found it thought provoking with electrical and gravitational forces the math turns out to be familiar across the lines. While there is no way to draw a connection between the two forces it is thought provoking how the behavior of the mathematics form along common lines. I think of it as Gods own "Copy Cut and Paste" I didn't mention the God thing in my Thesis, but I always was amazed by the similarities.

    I'm still interested in gravitational attractions at great distances. When we use Newtonian Physics to review objects at a distance we use. f=g{(m1*m2)/Rsquared}. IF we set the limit of R to infinity we find the limit DNE. This always fascinated me. No matter how small we are or how far away we are we have an impact on every object in the universe. It makes me feel connected.

    BillytheEx-Bethelite: I personally know of only one ExJW who is not successful. He never could break Meth, but statistically I am sure that is a very low number. They always like to tell you the world is a horrible place because they can't afford to tell the truth.

    Blindersoff1: What helped me the most was I found a great mentor who spent some time with me to point me in a solid direction. Find someone you admire and start talking to them. A basic component of humanity is the desire to help others. The WBTS teaches to help only those who are a part of your club or who want to be in it. It may take some time to get around this. Find someone, research them and talk. It helps. For me, I found it life saving to find a good partner. I have to be honest and say I found mine by luck. I have no idea how it happened, but I'm glad I won that lottery.

    DreamGolfer: I live in a small beach community in the Florida Panhandle. We have some great golf here.

    Love2Bworldly: I'll check out The Child Called It. Thanks for breaking your year of silence for me.

    jemba: Thanks. I'm sorry for your hurt. It's nice to have a focus, but don't let it consume you. If it does they win.

  • wasblind


  • finallysomepride

    Welcome aboard

  • Fernando

    Hey Defianttruth!

    Reading through your posts it would seem you have answered your own question as to why you were singled out.

    • Your parents were not educated, even ignorant.
    • They bought into the cult's visions and dreams
    • You did not
    • They sensed it
    • Religion unavoidably and insidiously teaches violence of one form or another to coerce dissidents (thinkers and questioners) into compliance (think from Spanish Inquisition to DF and labelled as an apostate). This is a product of supremacist apostate bureaucratic micromanagement through rule-making and rule-keeping or legalism which the Watchtower embraces and promotes more than most other religions.

    Not your fault.

    Possibly your depression may be related to false "force frameworks" imposed by (the Watchtower) religion on your mind and which lyingly accuse you as the problem in this equation. (Proverbs 17:15: "Anyone pronouncing the wicked one righteous and anyone pronouncing the righteous one wicked—even both of them are something detestable to Jehovah"). Hopefully this misplaced guilt can be reassigned to the Watchtower where it belongs.

    At any rate these are just a few random thoughts. I trust you will find healing, answers, prosperity and great fortitude in a multitude of counsellors and friends.

    May the Watchtower demons rot in hell!

    Blessings and greetings to you and yours


  • ThisFellowCheap

    @Defianttruth, I appreciate your enthuasiasm in your response. I'd love to write my thesis on the Jordan-Wigner Transformation of the XY Model, a quantum mechanics problem on one dimensional spin-1/2 antiferromagnetic Heisenberg chain with the Hamiltonian H = J∑ i S i S i+1 . This, though, might be subject to amendment by my project supervisor if he feels the depth of the research is too low. Let's leave that for a while, maybe I could get to talking that later, here is a poem I think my supervisor would have deemed too shallow in illustrating the depth of your feelings, and the narratives of your past. Despite my earnest endervor, all I could manage was a cold summary of your otherwise warm prose, please, let's blame it on the writer's block! LOL I have titled it 'Deviate' in poetic tandem of your profile name

    Alright, here it is:


    Once upon a time, a story

    Told, of pain and of glory;

    Of an ant as defiant

    As an elephant;

    Of a religion of Hates

    From which He deviates.

    Of people, His parents

    (But, hey do hippies pay rents?

    But sorry I deviate

    I only to humor relate).

    Who thought

    School wasn't that cool,

    And were taught,

    It was for fools!

    "The best life-course-

    A Bethelite's,

    For which school course

    Really sheds 'new lights'?"

    The whips lash down.

    For Discipline is nothing but a clown,

    Who when in town,

    Made His laughter a frown.

    But the tables turned at 18,

    200 pounds, and still a teen!

    He grew and Dad's waned thin,

    But abuse was not His thing.

    No escape from Congo, baptised.

    For you see, freedom is quantised;

    Bound He was, a POW,

    Solace, by the PO 'W'.

    Family aplenty, and are odd

    When they fight for the Lord;

    Yet, against all odds,

    He survived, with electronic boards!

    Of similar sides, six

    Of one, Physics:

    Science truth seeks.

    So, aided by Purdue's grade,

    He begins to fade;

    But behold, and lo

    Love and Belly grows,

    Oh, no!

    Does the word 'disfellowship'

    Really makes this fellow cheap?

    Time counted hours, and counted eight

    And here He and story deviate!

    You've got a life,

    Wonderful children, loving wife

    Who crazy rides thru JW Drive

    To understand still strive.

    And in December,

    You became a member,

    Of a site solid like timber,

    For people of mine and thine caliber!


  • nuthouse escapee
    nuthouse escapee

    Welcome Defianttruth. I was very impressed by the fact that when you finally outgrew your father and could have laid a real beating on him, you didn't, because you didn't want to become like him. That takes a lot of strength. I wish you all the best in your healing journey. You have been blessed with a lovely little family. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Leslie

  • cognac

    Welcome. Honestly, though, I have to wonder if part of your depression lies in you avoiding putting blame on your father. I did the same thing with my dad. But, the truth is, there are plenty of JWs who have kids and don't abuse them. What your father did was wrong and your mother letting it happen was wrong also. He made the decision himself to be abusive. I was never able to get over things myself until I was able to admit and address that. I wasn't able to admit that because in my mind it was equivalent to saying my father hated me. I mean, I don't care if they outright told him or pressured him to do that, he still made that decision and is to be responsible for that decision.

    and beating you til you passed out? Your father is a sick, sick person. What he did was wrong. In my opinion, it's going to be a hundred times harder to get over this until you can admit that to yourself.

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