sex before marriage

by Most Noble 63 Replies latest social relationships

  • jgnat

    I admit I went to my pastor about premarital sex. He was all about restoration and forgiveness. I felt a lot better afterwards.

    Hubby got a kind word from an elder, too. Keep in mind this was given after we were married. The elder told hubby "not to fornicate any more." I had a good giggle over that.

    I would never counsel a couple to go to the elders about their sex life, either before or after marriage. Our Prime Minister was right, "The state [or church] has no business in the bedrooms of the nation."

    Good advice for today, too.

    What good can come from such a meeting? Might the couples be rushed to marriage, removed from priveleges, confess their intimacy to a panel of three men?

  • Most Noble
    Most Noble

    Well, there was no other choice than to disfellowship them, cos they have been hitting the flesh for too long before conffesing, standard Brooklyn policy demands that we kick them out. I wished though, they had met me privately, It couldn't have been a three-man affair.

  • leaving_quietly

    Please find ONE SINGLE REFERENCE in the Bible prohibiting pre-marital sex. Looking through the Law given to Moses (Lev. 20 and Lev. 27) gives a few prohibitions, but thus far, I've not seen one reference in the Bible prohibiting pre-marital sex. There are references to keeping the marriage honorable, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's probiting sex before marriage.

    Ah, nevermind... I forgot the Bible uses the word "fornication" as all encompassing sex outside of marriage. Ignore my blather.

  • MrFreeze

    As Daniel Tosh says, it isn't premarital sex if you never marry them.

  • OnTheWayOut

    A recent statistics showed that 93.5% of couples who didnt confess premarital sex to the elders are likely to eventually leave the org

    Another one: A recent survey showed that 87.6% of specific statistics are pure nonsense that is just made up.

  • lowlypub

    jgnat: insightful. When you're 18-19 and getting married in the church it's difficult to see thru the fog and realize that nobody will know if you don't tell. You believe the suggestions that God will leave you if you don't tell and he won't bless your marriage. At 19 my JW husband went to the elders for our premarital sex without my knowledge. I found out when I was called in by 2 elders and confronted by it. The creepy thing is that they wanted explicit details on what type of sex we'd had - going so far as to ask if it was oral, anal, if either of us had touched ourselves - I mean a detailed report including how I was feeling at the time I was doing it. I left that meeting feeling dirty and distrubed that they seemed to be so eager for the dirty little details to the point that they seemed to be enjoying the whole "confession". I call it "Righteous Man's Porn". Neither of us are in it anymore and now that I have stepped back and given it all a birds-eye view, I realize it's all a part of the control they seek...yes, even over people's sexual lives. Disturbing. Nothing good comes from admitting anything, it doesn't improve your relationship with God and it continues to come up again and again by the elders thru your life in the church. If you feel guilty about it, stop. Simple.

  • DesirousOfChange

    Nothing good comes from admitting anything, it doesn't improve your relationship with God. . .

    You should have said: Nothing good comes from admitting anything TO THE ELDERS, it doesn't improve your relationship with God. . .

    Do as the loyal man King David did. DAVID CONFESSED HIS SIN . . . . . . TO JEHOVAH.

    All those things (Bible Stories) were written for OUR instruction. So, learn something from it, damnit! STFU!


  • jgnat

    Ah, but it feels so good. I was not nineteen, I was in my forties. And I was coming out of twenty years of celibacy. An entire herd of hungry hippos would not have kept me away. Pure hormones, no reason, but that's what it was.

  • cantleave

    Most Nobel - if they met you privately how would you handle the situation?

  • tiki

    jw's tend to have crazy unnecessary adolescent marriages because sex is ballooned into this big taboo and the kids are convinced that they are missing out on they have to legitimize it by getting married. then they haven't a clue what life is all about, and they screw up the sex (no pun intended) and are miserable. its all because sex is presented to them as this fabulous untouchable gift that you have to be married in order to indulge they get married for sex, and the marriages flop because sex while being an integral part of marriage should not be the determining factor.

    so.....while i am not a proponent of promiscuous sex...i do think that young men and women should control their urges to a point where they would only bed down with someone with whom they have a strong and genuine committed relationship.

    back in my era there were parents who actually married off their 16 year old daughters because they were afraid they'd get horny and get involved with someone not in the sad. those kids were children! let them grow up at least and live a life and learn who and what they are as individuals...and make adult choices.

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