SAD news about OOMPA......

by redredrose 630 Replies latest jw friends

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  ShirleyW

  "I can gues that Eric did not know how much he was loved."

  Unfortunately NY, that's the scenario for most folks who have unfortunately done the ultimate deed with their lives.
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  Thetis

  To Oompa's family and friends......I am so sorry for your loss..

  Much love....Shan
• 

  finallysomepride

  Sad news about oompa

  I am just learning (with tears in my eyes) about Erics passing right at this very moment, as I have not been on site for the last week.

  I didn't know Eric, but only through his posts I feel he was a friend.

  To Erics's family, I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

  OOMPA RIP

  Love from Kevin
• 

  Bryan

  So sorry to hear this.... and an animic obit... there is no true love in the Tower.....
• 

  Bangalore

  RIP Eric.May God bless you.

  Bangalore
• 

  purpleplus

  Rest In Peace, Oompa.
• 

  truthlover

  Such a tragedy... he reached out so much.. read and laughed at a lot of his posts but you could feel the hurt and anguish he was going through for so long

  RIP Oopma
• 

  JimmyPage

  One of the reasons I kept coming back to this board in the beginning of my learning TTATT was the sense of humor here. Oompa was a big part of that. The idea that we will never again get to hear from him is depressing indeed.
• 

  Band on the Run

  I adored Oompa's avatar. People don't understand suicide. It is not so much rational. Sometimes your brain is so wired (regardless of the realtiy of your life or your potential for improving your life) that there is little choice involved. I don't think the people jumping out of the WTC were consciously making a decision.

  It is difficult for survivors to understand. I believe Talesin posted about how the mental health system now cuts every corner, regardless of concern for the well-being of the patient. Certainly, better research into bipolar disorder needs to be done. We are so advanced in science that merely accepting a disease process seems immoral. We should be doing sometihng about it so others do not fall victim in the future.
• 

  FlyingHighNow

  I am not a close friend of Oompa. I only know him from his posts here on the board. And my understanding of his suffering comes from things he posted here and from Stacey and Robert's posts, and others' posts who were close to him. I want to preface this comment with that acknowledgement:

  When a person is eaten up with cancer, he/she can feel hopeless that the quality of life will improve. The person may feel that everyday he/she will wake up (that is IF there is any sleep at all, considering the physical and emotional pain that must be endured) to a life that offers little quality or comfort. Some such sufferers choose to end "life" earlier than the set expiration date. Though that is painful for the family and friends, they kind of understand because they know the person they love is suffering more than living. They know the person is on borrowed time. They know the person is terminal, incurable so to speak, so they accept that the person was justified, maybe even wise, in managing the situation with an early exit. They find comfort that the beloved person's suffering and pain has been stopped.

  Now, take Oompa and others like him. Stacey has showed us how though his joy and experience of life was bigger than the universe, his pain and suffering were bigger, too. The sensation of physical pain is chemical, electrical in nature. Emotional pain is also chemical, electrical in nature. There are physical symptoms that go with deep, emotional pain that can be nearly unbearable. I've felt that kind of pain before, as maybe many of you have, too. How often I just wanted that pain to end.

  Oompa already had the natural swings of his bi-polar illness to deal with 24/7. Complicate it with the lingering effects of what Stacey called his motorcycle "accident": a jaw so badly broken that repairing it and giving him literal teeth was not an option. She tells us that a surgery left his lip so numb that food would dribble from his mouth. He lost weight. He didn't look robust, handsome and healthy any longer maybe, in his own eyes. He also had to live with the knowledge that this was caused by his "accident." Add in the elder reaction to the blood transfusion given him while he was unaware. Add in the abandonment of his wife and some of his family and JW "friends". Add in that he could not feel the love of the many who still loved him and showed it. Add in that the mental health system could not give him adequate care and relief, any more than his medical doctors could for his injuries.

  How is Oompa's story a lot different than the terminal cancer patient's story? One obvious difference is that no one told him or those close to him, or us, that he was terminal. No one stamped an expiration date on him. But Oompa must have seen one, deep down inside. He chose to leave before the expiration date (we all have one, though we kid ourselves that we don't). Living was more emotionally and physically painful than the alternative. It's like when you know your lease is up or your home is being foreclosed on and you move out well ahead of the "vacate the premises by this date_________." Oompa did just that.

  I'm not saying that everyone who feels suicidal thoughts should just act one them. I'm not saying that at all. What I am saying is that Oompa must have calculated the hope of recovering a manageable, livable quality of life and decided the hope was slim to none. Maybe it was the teeth and lip thing that made it all finally add up to tip the scales in the favor of departing? Perhaps he held the hope, if small, that his roller coaster emotions could be evened out. Maybe he held hope that some of his family members and friends would go against the WTBTS and choose to include him again. Maybe he held at least some hope that he might recover from the pain of divorce from the WT and his wife. But add in the scars and ongoing injuries from his "accident", which had to face as self inflicted. Then what?

  I understand, just as if he had been eaten up with painful, disfiguring cancer. I understand that in the face of losing the love and association of people he loved and not feeling he could fit into the world outside the wt world....all on top of his complex reasons for suffering. I think I am close to understanding why he would make the choice he did. The choice to leave early. It brings me some comfort. Maybe a lot of you realize these things, too. If not, I hope this perspective might ease some pain for you.