Unconditional Love-How would you describe it?

by rip van winkle 239 Replies latest members private

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  still thinking

  I will give YOU an example of unconditional love...and you can decide if I am mentally ill Sol.

  When I was 19 I was violently raped. I won't go into the details...but, it went on for some hours. In the end, I ended up stabbing the rapist with his own knife. Even after everything he had done to me I still took pity on him as a human being. My love for humanity outweighed my fear and hatred of what this person had done to me. I helped him.

  Do I regret that? NO. was that showing unconditional love for another human? Yes. Was I mentally ill? NO would I do the same thing again? YES.

  Now you can come up with any screwed up ideas about what is appropriate and what isn't...I really don't care. I would do it again. THAT is unconditional. This has nothing to do with what justice he deserved for what he did, it had nothing to do with revenge. I was not willing to loose myself and my identity as a human being to this person. I LOVE myself....unconditionally.
• 

  talesin

  Ummm, you are the one who brought Maslow into it, not I.

  I copied a chart, since you obviously don't understand that self-actualization is the actual goal, and is built upon the foundation of basic needs.

  Now, carefully note,,, can you see it? It's directly above safety ... these are called "Belonging Needs"

  Belonging - Love

  friends, family, spouse, lover

  
• 

  King Solomon

  Talesin, both of the articles you offered don't offer evidence of not offering UL: ref#1 one mentions "relatively normal families" and #2 mentions the harmful effects of abuse. Both are consistent with what is known, but neither goes to the extent of saying anything to the extent of backing up your assertion that "a lack of UL leads to sociopathy". THAT'S an eyebrow-raiser statement....

  Still Thinking, thanks for sharing your personal experience, but I honestly believe you do yourself a great disservice by characterizing that as showing UL. Yes, you showed a respect for the life of the stranger who raped you, but that's a far cry removed from ANY emotion related to 'love'.

  'Love' is a strong word, and what you did was to show unconditional kindness, compassion, or even unconditional mercy or concern for the welfare of someone you injured in self-defense; I'd prefer for your own sake that you choose to think of it as a display of ANY emotion BESIDES UL, so as not to cheapen your own definition of "love"...

  Instead, you took control of a dangerous situation in spite of what must've been overwhelming terror, and THAT was driven by of a completely understandable and natural need under the circumstances to look out for YOUR OWN self-interest.

  If your motivation HAD been truly UL (i.e. placing the other person's welfare above even yours), you wouldn't have done that; instead you'd have allowed him to remain in control of the situation, and he probably would've killed you.... THANKFULLY you didn't show him UL!
• 

  still thinking

  You do not think that kindness, compassion and mercy and respect for life are a part of love?

  And you clearly do not consider the love I had for myself that allowed me the ability to do this.

  YOU do ME a disservice by dismissing what I have said.

  By the way...placing anothers welfare above my own has nothing to do with unconditonal love and that is NOT what I did. I did not place his welfare above my own. My welfare was first and formost to me.

  I showed love to another human being despite the circumstances....it doesn't sit well with you? And YOU are trying to tell me what unconditional love is and isn't.
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  still thinking

  This is not an example of what I think everyone should do in this situation. This was unique to what happened to me. If it happened differently I would probably have responded differently. But that is what happened on that occasion.

  KS...you are still equating unconditional love with ignoring your own needs and putting yourself at risk of abuse. YOU are not getting it. You MUST love yourself first.
• 

  talesin

  lol! This feels more like a political thread with each of your posts. You are not making any reasoned argument, just dismissing facts and twisting words. You must really be hurt inside, and I feel your pain, for I *used* to feel as you do.

  (((KS)))

  xo

  tal
• 

  still thinking

  I can't help liking this guy
• 

  still thinking
• 

  rip van winkle

  bttt
• 

  rip van winkle

  First I want to say to Still Thinking that you are truly a brave and courageous person.

  You have been through so much and have been able to consider first yourself, staying true to your belief and keeping your humanity all at the same time!!!

  I am in AWE!!!

  "Rip"