Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
That makes sense with people that acts out of ignorance, not very fair on you when dealing with an ass****.
Relationship Issues: Boundaries, Freedom of Choice and Codependency
by 00DAD 83 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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tec
Perhaps... but I don't think love worries so much about 'fair'. Besides, can't always tell who is an ass****... and who is acting out of hurt or anger or ignorance because of something done to them. I think most of us are ass****'s every now and then.
Peace,
tammy
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00DAD
tec: Peace and love leave little room for anger and hate. Hate and anger leave little room for peace and love.
Tammy, that is beautiful. Thanks for sharing your insight and comments from your perspective.
00DAD
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rip van winkle
Tammy(TEC) said
Sadness for the burden of anger and hate that they carry around. For the lack of love and light within them. Because no one who is filled with peace and with love... also hurts and hates and curses others. Perhaps in a time of hurt or anger, but not continuously; and probably not without some regret.
Peace and love leave little room for anger and hate. Hate and anger leave little room for peace and love.
And if you do have love within you, it is often your desire that others have that love as well; so you hope for them rather than hating them.
I think your thoughts on the matter are beautiful and well said. But, I think for most of us here on JWN, who have been hurt; when a wound is deep and raw and tender. a slight touch of someone's anger can be like inflicting another wound or reopening one that has been starting to heal.
The goal for me is to follow the thought of filling up one's heart with peace and love.
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00DAD
RVW: I think for most of us here on JWN, who have been hurt; when a wound is deep and raw and tender. a slight touch of someone's anger can be like inflicting another wound or reopening one that has been starting to heal.
Yes, exactly!
Many of us open up here and express our innermost thoughts, fears, doubts and feelings. We do it for a variety of reasons, mostly I believe because we are seeking understanding of ourselves, understanding of others and to be understood by them. Also we want healing.
It takes strength, inner strength, to allow oneself to be vulnerable. When we are vulnerable it is easy for anyone so inclined to take advantage of us in that moment.
Perhaps that is the only way they know how to be when in the presence of another human being sharing a weakness. I don't know ...
But I do know that for myself, and I've seen it in others, once we determine to no longer be abused, manipulated or controlled the slightest inkling that someone wants to go there can raise strong and powerful emotions, primarily anger!
When once we learn to protect our precious boundaries it's easy to become quite territorial!
00DAD
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tec
But, I think for most of us here on JWN, who have been hurt; when a wound is deep and raw and tender. a slight touch of someone's anger can be like inflicting another wound or reopening one that has been starting to heal.
Yes, I totally understand this. And also what you said 00DAD about feeling territorial ;)
It all takes time to heal. To seek that goal of filing up on peace and love. We can ask for help, and those with faith can ask for help from Christ. He is there for us.
But I do hear what you are saying.
Peace,
tammy
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00DAD
I just came across this little gem in the November 2012 Awake!
Child and family psychologist Barry G. Ginsberg states: “Relationships are better and less stressful when boundaries are clear.” He added: “The more explicit our boundaries, and the more clearly they are expressed, the easier relationships become.” - Awake! November 2012, p. 8
It's ironic how often the WT will publish things that they completely ignore in their dealings with their own people.
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Apognophos
@00DAD: Well said. The problem is that the Society believes strongly in moral and spiritual boundaries, but when it comes to personal boundaries... "What boundaries? We're all brothers and sisters! We're just one big, loving family that lives in one big, loving house with no doors between rooms!"
Good God, could I get on a soapbox about this subject. I grew up with a mother who eavesdropped on me while I was talking to myself (as a lonely little kid is wont to do) only to punish me when she caught me swearing, sifted through my paper trash (and queried me on what minor things of interest she found), peeked in windows at me after pretending to leave the house, and just generally watched my every move. That's what you get when you combine the Witness definition of "boundaries" with the Witness approach to "parenting" and a moderate dose of crazy.
@flipper: You mentioned the elders overstepping in giving counsel. The first time I carried a mike in the Hall, a brother took me aside after the meeting and kindly told me that I should move a little faster down the aisle when someone was called on. Immediately after this, I was lightly counseled by another brother that I had been going too quickly down the aisle. "Well," I thought to myself, "I guess that means I don't have to change anything! Their counsel cancels out!". You guys should give more examples of how the brothers overstepped, it makes for a juicy topic. Here's a couple items a brother in my Hall was counseled on: "Don't wear those socks" (they were slightly too festive); "Don't make so much noise when walking down the aisles" (I never noticed it myself). There were a number of other counsel points that I can't recall or that he hinted at but didn't relate to me.
@Quendi: Very interesting fact from that brother, that both Jehovah and Satan said "please". That sounds like one of those "edgy" brothers who might have an account on this forum ;)
I'll close with a hopefully amusing anecdote from a shepherding call. On one side of the table sat the visiting CO and an elder, and on the other was my mother and I. The CO didn't know me at all before I walked in the door to the back room, but he was determined to be my pal. He asked me if I had any hobbies. My reply? "Yes." A few moments of uncomfortable silence followed. "Uh, good." Then he continued with another line of thought, reading a scripture, or what-have-you. I just couldn't see for the life of me why I should tell this slightly creepy brother what I did in my free time when I'd just met him.
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hoser
great topic!
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00DAD
Apognophos, glad you appreciate this thread. It's an important subject for us to consider as part of healing and to re-establish our own appropriate personal boundaries, boundaries which are routinely violated by WT policies and culture.
So clue me in, what's your JWN name mean? I'm at a loss ...