Okay, first of all: I like the earth, the polar bears, the whales, and any other part of the planet that someone wants to help. I appreciate any efforts that people exert. The planet is going through global warming and pumping exhaust from automobiles and factories and other sources does contribute to the global warming. We are going to run out of fossil fuels and it seems that we won't be doing much about it until the greedy bastards get all the money out of oil that they can. The party on the left is now the party on the right and we need to vote the bums out. I am mostly in agreement with the 99% in their message, but I do not support any violent solutions. At the same time, I see that violence may be the only thing that causes change.
Why do I say all that? Because I am at a unique position for me. I used to be an active Jehovah's Witness. I used to 'get involved' in the way I thought was right- teaching people about the Kingdom of God that works through the Watchtower. I was wrong. I don't do that anymore. I am not afraid to be wrong again, I certainly will share my position if someone asks. But that's about the extent of how much I want to get involved. I say my opinions on JWN or facebook, but I don't do more than politely discuss things in person. My fader status and my 2 decades of being involved put me in my unique position now.
I just want to be at peace, I just want to enjoy my short time on earth. I want to maintain family relationships without shunning. I want to speak my mind, but not so much that it repels people. I want to smell the roses and watch the squirrels and puppies. I want to walk/bike through the woods and snorkel to see the fish. I want to vacation in the sun, maybe ride a few roller coasters or play an enjoyable game of tennis on a regular basis.
Call me selfish if you want. The first 40+ years of my life include so much drama and I just want the remaining 40+ years to be quieter (unless I am enjoying some great music at a higher volume).
My other rambling is that I am so grateful I have found people who "get it" when I explain such things. My ex-JW friends from JWN and from meetup have been the greatest. I am confident that if my wife were ever to leave the JW's, I would have lost a lot of interest in all things ex-JW. As it is, my interest has died down some, and will probably continue to die down. But I will always be around now and again to stay in touch with my awesome ex-JW friends. I have personally met so many people from this forum, and many of those people are my absolute closest of friends. I thank you all for being there for me. I won't name you all here, for fear of leaving someone out. You all know who you are.
Tahoe-Apostafest has been great. If I could, I would go to more of these events. But they are dying off. When I was still fading, there used to be huge fests in Wisconsin that I never made it to. Now, they are gone. There are some summer gatherings here and there, but my JW wife has a hard enough time with me going to Tahoe. But I imagine some more events will pop up as the years go by, and I will make some of them.
I say all this, certainly not as a goodbye to JWN. I will be here later today and I will be here tomorrow and the next day and ..... . But I have cut down. I will cut down more. There are fences to repair and books to read and trails to hike/bike. Despite my wonderful extended stay here, I know that I have a toxic relationship with all things JW/ex-JW. It's keeping me from getting other things done. Y'all know I will be here, but don't be surprised if days go by. I have noticed that some of the others who spend a lot of time here have finally started seriously cutting down. It's my turn.
So thanks all. See ya on the next thread or at the next fest. Thanks for reading. I started this thread 3 times yesterday and deleted it. I finally decided to just ramble to say what I wanted. Some of my best thoughts come out when I don't slow down the typing to think. I hope it makes sense. If it doesn't, that's okay.