I just can't do this anymore

by Awen 82 Replies latest jw experiences

  • still thinking
  • Awen

    Ugh I HATED that song (still do). But thanks for the thought nonetheless.

    @ Dario I already subscribe to the Thinking Atheist and have had quite a few rabid conversations back in the day with that guy. LOL

    I also subscribe to stevebee92563 a retired dentist with plenty of schooling in other fields (unlike most youtube channels which just quote other people's works). He thinks Intelligent Design has it's merits but he's not religious at all. Some say it's a contradiction, not me though. he just accepts that there are some things that he doesn't know. I like that.


    and this one which I like very much (except for the religion bashing that sometimes goes on).


    and to make sure I am well-rounded, this channel.


    as far as inspirational songs, I like this one. Not really religious, but one of hope.


  • ProdigalSon

    I think you really DO know Awen. You summed it all up right in the beginning of your post. There is a common theme in all those "pagan" religions and teachings you mentioned, and isn't it that you can find God within you? Jesus and the Apostle Paul said the same thing! So if you hear a little voice inside, and I don't mean a "voice" but something more subtle, why would that be "witchcraft"? It's your Intuition, the Spirit of God inside you. Also, you seem to be well aware of how Christianity stole pretty much everything from the pagans. And personally, having already gone through what you seem to be going through, I am fully convince that "Jesus" did exist, whatever his name was. The evidence from the Gnostic texts seems to point to him being with the secret society of the Essenes and not being the public figure he was made out to be in the gospels.

    I think you are absolutely right in abandoning Christianity. It is the invention of the Catholic Church, and the furthest thing from the truth out of all the major religions.

  • Qcmbr

    Wave and salute.

    Tomorrow is now full of new wonderful possibilities.

  • The Quiet One
    The Quiet One

    Awen.. I have the greatest respect for you after reading this. The intellectual honesty and sincerity you have expressed here is both refreshing and moving, especially compared to the pitiful (I mean this in the sense of feeling sorry for, not being insulting) combination of arrogance and ignorance that many Jw's display, often without even realising it. If you want to see part of my experience of how I came to lose trust in the Bible and decided to be agnostic, just search 'Can the Bible be Proven wrong?' on here, probably not worth the time though. I look back on that now and see how desperate that I was to cling to a belief in the Bible's inerrancy, and how people on this board helped me to change my focus (Thanks to all involved!). Which is why I feel that, when you're at the point where you've just realised that you don't know what to believe.. you can be vulnerable. I nearly panicked and ran back to the mental safety of believing something without any evidence. All I'm saying is.. Take some time out, if you need to, but at least for now, IMO, I would stay away from both religion and 'zealous' people with strong opinions, theist or otherwise. Just get some breathing space and sort your emotions out first, in whatever way necessary. From my experience, it's very tempting to try to regain 'absolute certainty', to surrender your mind to being told what to believe by a person or a book that 'knows all'. Please be careful.. I'll leave you with my favourite quote of all time.. Socrates: "The beginning of wisdom is the admission of one's ignorance."

  • jay88

    The teachings of Jesus are pretty,..pretty,...pretty inspiring, but I have to say Tesla has done more for humanity than my
    man JC. George Carlin says he prays to "Joe Pesci" cause he get things done, I say throw Nikola Tesla right in the mix.

  • unshackled

    Congrats Awen, on being able to examine yourself with such honesty and clarity. My journey out of the Org started with questioning the God of the Bible, and the bible itself. Just didn't add up for all the reasons you mentioned.

    I now see it like this...

    There about 2 billion (give or take) people that call themselves Christian. They are Christian because they claim to "hear" or "feel" Christ. This is how they KNOW God, and that he exists.

    Then you have about 1.5 billion people that call themselves Muslims. They are Muslim because they claim to "hear" or "feel" Mohammed the prophet . This is how they KNOW God/Allah, and that he exists.

    So that leaves me with a few questions:

    The creator of the universe reaches people thru Christ or Mohammed? If so, how can both be right and yet so very different? Also, why the odd geographical divide: eastern hemisphere is Muslim, western is Christian?

    OR.....is this commonality in Christians and Muslims "just knowing"..."hearing"...and "feeling" a human condition? The ability for the brain to deceive itself or want to believe something badly enough?

    The latter has been the more logical conclusion for myself. Though, I can't say for sure....so I'll see you around the Church of I Don't Know.

  • clarity

    Awen ...... thanks for your honest words.

    You know, back in my early 20's ... I didn't have any religion at all, nor did I know that god had a name - or even cared about it!

    I felt that I was a good, honest and trustworthy person .... kinda happy in spite of an absence of religion!!


    Children came along and thinking we were missing something ... I listened to 2 seemingly 'nice' ladies at my door!!!!! The rest is history as they say!


    Going full circle, I AM BACK! I am a good, honest and trustworthy person ....kinda happy and very grateful that I know the truth.

    The truth is that RELIGION is a SNARE and a RACKET!!!!


    It's now down to "what ever will be, will be".

    If the creator{?} wants me to know something, he/she will tell me straight out!

    And THAT is enough for now.


  • ziddina

    Awen, it sounds like you're approaching a breakthrough...

    Or perhaps a state of peace.

    I'm an atheist - and would have been one from the age of 7-8, had I not been bullied into the cult by my parents.

    But I saw the fallibility and very human origins of the bible, at that age; upon hearing Exodus 19: 16-19, read from the podium.

    However, I do not struggle with questions of "morality" or the pain of my own eventual demise. I've found that I have learned a great deal from my animals. We live, love, and then we go.

    Whether we go somewhere - or nowhere - doesn't ultimately matter. What does matter, is that I am here and now, and the ones I currently have are also here and now.

    And we love, and laugh, and cry and meow and bark, and eventually we say "goodbye", having lived well in our time.


  • clarity

    Just thought I would ... I know.. it's old but..



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