The whole "he chose a sinful life instead of a relationship with his parents and Jehovah" feels a lot like a hostage situation. Do as we say or we'll make sure you'll never see your family again (said with a gun against your head). And all the JV's who readily give up all contact are probably suffering from Stockholm-syndrome....
Today's Watchtower Lesson Really Bothered Me...
How sad is it that an organisation has so much control over people that a husband and wife are too afraid to speak to each other honestly for fear of some sort of retribution.
I wish I didn't know he was a part of this blog. It's like spiritual adultury. I know he's cheating on the organization he represents, but I can't do anything about it
This is the saddest part... he is "cheating on the organization'
Who is he married to? the organization?
He can't cheat on them!...they are just a publishing company selling themselves as a mediator between us and God....God doesn't need them as a mediator...God doesn't need them to own millions of dollars worth of property...God doesn't need them to interfere between a husband and a wife....or a father and his child...or a mother and her child.
Mathew 19:6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."
@ Quarterback ... excellent point!
One of the apostles made the question," don't you know we are going to judge angels? " ... what angels is he talking about? The fallen angels perhaps???
The "organization" is exactly that an organization, a corporation. Cheating on it is like cheating on Mcdonalds for going to burger king! He is actually doing what he is supposed to do: investigate, test the so called "inspired" expressions. He is suspecting that his "bride" is a lying, abusive and disloyal "bride". Would you not investigate a spouse who is obviously doing untrustworthy things?? If all these accusations were true would you not considers ending this "relationship". He is not cheating on God, on the contrary, he is actually defending his honor. This "organization" is proving to be false and you both know it. We all know it!! At some point seperation must be considered. Just like a worthless spouse, if you stay, like George Lopez says, "why you crying?"
"When baptized, you are essentially marrying Jehovah, his organization, it's good and not so good qualities." I can only say WOW!!!!! Sorry but this is not what the Spirit teaches in the bible ... but I understand your reasoning but I wish you would read the bible by yourself and ask God to teach you ...
Psalms 18:30 As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
7 The law of the LORD is perfect,
refreshing the soul.
The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy,
making wise the simple.
8 The precepts of the LORD are right,
giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the LORD are radiant,
giving light to the eyes.
9 The fear of the LORD is pure,
The decrees of the LORD are firm,
and all of them are righteous.
An organization that claims to be God-made and the only means of "salvation", should be an exact representation of God with only perfect qualities, like Jesus who is the WAY and the TRUTH and the only PERSON/ORGANIZATION God has appointed for our salvation.
I feel so sad for this mother/wife of dontplaceliterature, they live in a house that is divided and that is not what God wants. The organization teachings are manipulative and controlling, none of it is biblical. The husband is simply finding a way to vent when he comes into this site and speaks his mind, something you could never do with your JW family or with the brothers. What bothers me most, is why should you be expelled, and forever stamped with "APOSTLE" simply by thinking differently, or not sharing the same ideas or belifes... why dose it have to be their way or no way?!?!? This weeks study I think opened alot of peoples eyes, when they gave the example of a son that chooses not to be part of the JW organization, he becomes dead family member, simple because he thinks differently.
I know you said you wouldn't be reading any replies, but maybe your husband will and convey my thoughts to you. I can relate to your position somewhat. My husband, a MS at the time (and ironically at a similar stage in our marriage to yours) started investigating JW beliefs - initially, as with so many others, with the intention of defending his beliefs and strengthening his faith. Of course, during that process, his very core beliefs were challenged to the point that pat answers from loyal JWs and official org. literature were no longer satisfying. His search for answers led elsewhere.
When I learned he was reading 'apostate' books, I was very worried. This was pre-internet so his 'mixing in company' with these terrible defectors was reading the books, and for me it was real disturbing. The other problem was that he often became very depressed and quiet. He couldn't talk to me or anyone about what the real issues were because, like your husband, he didn't want to upset me and anyway, I didn't get it. Besides, he'd seen first hand what DFings and divided households did to families and he was determined not to divide and cause friction in his own family. Like your husband, he continued being a MS throughout and did his best to keep a lid on what he really felt (although, occasionally it spilled out a little).
My rationale was, it's his relationship with Jehovah, he's got to work it out for himself, and if it came to the point where he quit altogether, I was going to be loyal to God (read: 'org') and carry on as a good JW (like you I saw the good, the bad and the ugly in org. life). If I rat him out to the elders, not only will it cause enormous strain and trust issues within the marriage, but it will force him to make choices before he is ready to make them. So I let him be.
He lasted many years as a MS. He tried to teach and behave without compromising his beliefs. How he kept his balance on that tightrope I don't know. Of course, at some point during that time, my own questions reached critical mass and here I am, now pretty much on the same page as my husband. I don't want to scare you into thinking you may go the same way - you may not - after all, you are a convert and, by the sound of it, you fought for "the Truth" and it cost you. I don't know if there's a moral to all this, but all I'm saying is, this place is where he can vent, where he can express himself freely with people who get it. You're sure to be worried; you're sure to greatly disapprove, but he has to stand on his own two feet on this and IMHO you'll be wise in giving him the space he needs. Similarly, I hope he's savvy enough to allow you yours too. I wish you both the best.
My $0.02 :-)
I was at the hall with my wife when they went over this study article. Thankfully, she was in the mother's room with the kids for the first half. The second half she ran me and the kids outside and listened for the second half.
At first, I felt like I shouldn't have came as she offered me to stay home with the kids so she could hear the whole talk and study. Upon getting to feast my eyes on this article and my wife being too busy to really get into it, I'm glad I did.
actual dpl here...
Just picking up on this...not sure what to think. Thanks for your fair and balanced reply, Ann. I'm not sure where this will end up. I sincerely doubt that my wife will be back here to read anything, though.
I have not made an effort to keep what I read and post online a secret from her. I know full well how to delete the history in my browser. This is not the first time she has come across a conversation I was reading on JWN.
She is scared to death that things will change, and mostly tries to ignore what I am going through because she cannot cope with the 'gravity' of it, or the prospect that I would leave her alone in the organization.
To be clear, I didn't say I would never leave. I said that if it weren't for her, I would have already left, but leaving would cost me too much at this point.
Hmmmm....I think this subject deserves its own thread...
dontplaceliterature: I think this subject deserves its own thread...
In fact, I know of several on the subject in just the last few months. One of my favorites is:
In particular, read the posts by SIAM. He and I exchanged quite a few thoughts on this very matter. It is so difficult.
Just this weekend, my wife and I spent the some time with good friends that have been out about 4 years now. (I've been out 2). They talked about how they both had doubts for years before the talked to each other about them for all the reasons you can guess. It was only when they started trusting in each other and talking together that they worked through things, and they both felt that they had a pretty solid relationship before!
It's so sad, this thing that should bring couples together divides and isolates one from another. It is evil, it really is.
Hope you two figure it out TOGETHER!