What Actually Made You Leave The Organization?

by minimus 81 Replies latest jw friends

  • LittleMac

    I grew up in a family very closely connected, maybe a little codepedent even , but after my youngest sister, 21 at the time, went through some rough emotional treatment from the elders in a removal from pioneering and then disfellowshipping over really trivial stuff, it caused my parents so much anxiety that my mom sought some relief by looking on the internet to see if anyone else had had similar experiences and that was the crack in the dam. About six months later, my brother took me out to a pub and 'broke the news' asking me if I knew that Russell was a Mason, 1914 was made up, etc, etc. Initially, it made complete sense to me, but like emotional and mental crazy glue, it took me almost another year before I attended my last meeting. Thankfully, my entire family came out. Mom, Dad, 2 boys and 4 girls.

    It's funny, the one thing that made total sense to me was when Mom asked me, "Do you think that people really need us to carry magazines to them with articles in them that they could just look online to read?" i.e. The Elusive Sea-Monkey or Making Goat Cheese- is it for you?

  • shechaiyah

    Little Mac, sounds as if your family never was attached to the world; nor are you, now.

    That's my position too: permanently out-of-it, both the Society and the World itself.

    I'm a stranger in Capitalist Ideologies Land.

    I'm permanently attached at the hip to the Cosmos itself.


  • shepherd

    For me it all began with the Daniel book - so much of the 'explanations' were poorly contrived, and the usual comment of 'wait for Jehovah to make it all clearer' was wearing a bit thin. When I saw that the explanation of days between an Assembly in 1920 and other in 1926 was out by three weeks (which was why they never printed the exact dates) I began to wonder if they were deliberately lying and not just misinformed. From this moment I began to look more carefully at their statements of 'fact'.

    The final awakening was the COC book! As I eagerly read each page I found myself agreeing with almost all I was reading. It fitted perfectly into what I already knew from my own experience. I think this book has helped perhaps thousands to see the WTS for what it is.

    I had been conned! This was not God's Organization at all. Once I could see that for myself there was no going back.

    I heard that a month after I had left the local needs item was on how long people should clap after the Public Talk - I kid you not (It had to be until the elder had left the platform etc and the elder even managed to find a scripture or two to support it) - and all I could do was laugh and be happy I was out of all that crap.

  • Awen

    The LACK of Love.

    Unless you were "popular" you didn't get any help.

    If you missed a few meetings due to work or sickness, you were considered spiritually weak.

    Before I was baptized in 1991, (I was 19 years old) I was surrounded with JW's who wanted to go out to eat, hang out, etc. After I was baptized it all stopped. I asked a friend about this who had also come into the "truth" at the same time, getting baptized on the same day and his opinion was that "The witnesses were withdrawing so as to see if you were really serious or not, a testing perhaps?" My reply was "If we weren't ready, then God wouldn't have allowed us to be baptized." He agreed. Years later I found out that by spending time with an unbaptized publisher any JW could count it as FS time. I thought they wanted to be friends and was greatly hurt to learn all I was to them was some time counted on their FS slip.

    I barely had any "friends" my age, although there were plenty in the KH my age. I wasn't pioneering (my family had turned me out for becoming a JW) and I was learning to live on my own for the first time. I was devastated but I stuck it out. I hoped that eventually I could pioneer and support myself, but it was very hard being single and having no support from my family or the "friends".

    Most of my associates ended up being "older ones" or one particular Elder. He wasn't born in and had a pool table in his attic, where we often shot pool and talked until late at night. If I hadn't had him as a friend I would most likely have left sooner.

    People being judgemental of others. If you weren't a pioneer or a MS, you were garbage. I recall hearing two young brothers (born-ins) who were collecting FS slips and one of them remarked about the time on one of the slips. He said "This person has less than 10 hours this month. Why do they even bother?" That pissed me off considering the two brothers Dads were Elders and supported them so that they could pioneer. They were both under 21 and quite arrogant. I wanted to wring their necks and point out that not everyone had their situations and they were doing the best they could.

    I recall being interested in one particular sister and I spoke to her Father. He said I needed to go out in FS more, comment more (I commented at every WT study at least 3 times in a meeting, I gave talks in the 2nd school, handled the mics and led the FS group when there wasn't an Elder or MS present). I also had gotten on my feet financially. I just wasn't pioneering and that's what he wanted as his daughter was a pioneer and had her own cleaning business (but she lived at home, whereas I did not).

    I finally realized it didn't matter what I did. No matter how hard I worked if I wasn't a pioneer, I was no better than something a JW would scrape off their shoes.

    Those things, more than scripture was why I left.



  • Nickolas

    Wonderful post, Awen. Thank you. I am always more and more grateful for insights from people like you who are the wreckage of the Watchtower. It sure as hell screws up peoples' lives, doesn't it? You're only 39 years old, on the right track now and young enough to recover.


    At a very Young Age..I realised..

    I was surrounded by ReTarded JW Adults..


    They were in Charge..


  • umadevi

    For me it started with the FS. Being a single parent and working full time, FS is something I found hard to do on a regular basis. The elders were 'hinting' every now and then that I should do more and that they were 'concerned' with the low hours I put in. That did it. I also had doubts on JWs stand on the blood issue and higher education. I started doing some research online, landed on this site and after reading the threads here plus the books recommended by some exJWs, I DAed. The best decision I made in my life.

    CoC is truly an eye opener!

  • White Dove
    White Dove

    I got Phariseed out.

    Couldn't take it any longer.

    Left claw marks on the walls, though.

    Didn't want to go.

    It was an addiction.

  • Awen

    @ Nickolas I must have screwed up my age at baptism.

    I was 18 (in high school) when I first met the JW's ( I asked a JW to the prom), and got baptized on July 18, 1991 "Lovers of Freedom" District Convention, Columbia, SC., so I would have been 22 I think. I'm 41 now.

  • clarity

    We've talked about so many of the things that corked it for us but......my top 3 are:

    1. .. from the beginning I held the belief that the leaders were the infallable 144000! They alone ruled from Headquarters in Brooklyn NY. Many thousands of them all at bethel! Then I found out about a governing body of a few old men, who ruled by voting and bethel was run by "non heavenlies". Even the watchtower was written by "regular" Joes. What???????????

    2. .. I realized that the watchtower was just an old multilevel marketing scam.

    At one time I attempted to sell "Vitamins" and encouraged others to sell them too ......'cause they were so valuble for good health etc! Well my "upline" started to get really irritated with me and said ..."for $$*sake we don't care about their health or the vitamins ..... we are trying to indoctrinate these people into selling to their friends, who will sell to their friends........get it??? That's how you'll make money!!! That's how the idea will grow.

    Then I realized that the watchtower was just ....The Watchtower Printing and Real Estate Co!

    3. .. then of course the old "christ is not your mediator" thing. How I missed that in 1979 really shows how deluded I was.


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