Wife is on that yellow brick road to the WT.

by trailerfitter 47 Replies latest jw experiences

  • trailerfitter

    Hadit,... the last point you just made about who my wife was going to listen to for the rest of her life was the thing that was the wake up call. We as a family make decisions but not any more. She is seriously convinved that the WT publications give her such good leadership. I do ask, when she come up with little gems or pearls of wisdom, where did she get them from?...out of "how to have a successful family " WT publication or has she though something through properly.

    Thanks again all of you. I am amazed on how many post there are already on this thread.... now for some more reading!!!

  • HB

    Hi again trailerfitter,

    As was pointed out to me by my ex-JW friend, it is a big mistake to try to oppose a JW directly. I also, when I was in your position, tried to challenge my friend who was studying with similar things that you are trying. But as my friend pointed out to me, it will only push the person studying more towards the JWs.

    You really need help, as I did, in trying to get your wife to see through it all. It is a mine field and a lot of damage can easily be done in your sincere efforts to help her,

    Again, wishing you the best,


  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Wishing you all the best. Im so glad your 18 year old agrees with you about her behaviour, thats a big plus. Watch out for the little one though. They encouraged me to bring my boy (then aged 6) to meetings, memorials, very occasional meets in the park....he was skipping along making little JW friends, all the while being told his school friends were evil.......this really messed him up metally as you can imagine. Telling him that his daddy wouldnt be with us living forever in Paradise Earth was the most heartbreaking day of my life, I calmly explained this too him while he was wracked with sobbs and shaking all over.......Im so grateful we are away from the cult.

    Christmas was a nightmare. I learned after I escaped (6 years study, 2 monthes away from baptism)...that most JWs in my cong gave their kids Christmas presents on BOXING DAY...and when I questioned this I was simply told "So they dont miss out!".........Miss out? On a Pagan festival? Wow, double standards.

    Love your wife and kids. Show them every day.

    It was one single peice of information that halted my study. It was something I read on here, and it stopped me in my tracks. The WTBTS joined the UN (the harlot, wild beast, unclean thing as the JW call it) as a NGO.......so while they preach to the cong about this disgusting thing, they were comitting "spiritual adultery" by getting into bed with the UN all the while. I carried on reading this forum, and had stopped studying within 2 weeks. Only SHE will make that decision to leave, but you can help her along gently. Youve had such good advice, I simply wanted to share a little bit of my story with you to perhaps show you that escape is possible, dont ever give up.

    A belated warm welcome to you from not so sunny Wales x

  • OnTheWayOut

    The big three books for you to read and get her to read.

    1. Someone already mentioned CAPTIVES OF A CONCEPT.

    2. COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL by Steve Hassan. If she sees how a Moonie wrote things that could apply equally to JW's, it might open her eyes.

    3. CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE by former Governing Body of JW's member Ray Franz. He excellently shows that things are not as they appear.

    Do not wait. She will eventually be convinced that you are "persecuting" her with your negativity.

  • Franklin Massey
    Franklin Massey

    Why do the WT give such false hope and turn their followers against the material world?

    Sadly, because it works. And worse, the more vulnerable the person (I'm not meaning to insult your wife), the more this type of indoctrination appeals to them. Life is hard and people are looking for hope. Many still want to believe in magic. They want to believe that the suffering they endure fits into the grand plan of some magnificent being that is looking out for them. The JWs preach the illusion of hope and security and add to it the condition that such hope and security is ONLY available through their religious organization.

    I do ask, when she come up with little gems or pearls of wisdom, where did she get them from?

    Great question! This is something that I was thinking about a couple of days ago. I was listening to my dear grandfather (a JW for many years) speak about troubling things he sees on the television news. He solemnly listed several recent events that upset him. Then, he perked up when he started talking about how soon the end of this system of things is. When he described his hope for the future, he didn't use scripture or even put the expressions in his own words. Rather, he used several JW-specific catch phrases. When he talks about the weather, his hobbies, or his family, he speaks in a natural way that is all his own. But as soon as he begins to speak on religious matters, his vocabulary is shifts to a rote dialect that reflects the heavy indoctrination that JWs receive.

    I have often challenged fellow JWs to try and explain their beliefs without using words like "worldly," "new system," The Truth," "Faithful and Discreet Slave," "service," etc. Most stumble to find replacement words. The phrases that are unique to JWs are so loaded that it's hard to carry on dialogue without them. You may want to have your wife explain the meaning of those phrases to you. That might help a bit in keeping her mind from locking in to the JW loaded language.

  • trailerfitter

    Pams girls...what you have just described is shocking ,...this is what I have to expect.? This is actually evil itself. However God likes to kill children anyway....Luckily for our son, he is very active and can't sit in the KH for long and she doesn't want to take him along ..yet. I will watch out for it.

    She told him a story at bed time which is a JW publication. Its about this guy and his wife who held money back after selling their land to help the christian congregation... God killed both of them on the spot for lying... I was shocked at this after wed already discussed violence on TV. It's okay for god to kill even after the couple wanted to hold back a bit of money for themselves??? the boy ws indifferent at that point but if the story is repeated I think the info would have sunk in. The little one is playing with another JW boy at the moment. What am I to do? Ban him from socialising with them?

  • nugget

    I would insist that your children are not taken to meetings. I would suggest that as she has studied later in life that your children should have the right to make their own choices and until that time they should have a normal life. As soon as the childrten are put on the treadmill it is very difficult to get them off it again. Since the religion insists that children have minimal contact with worldly people, do not join clubs, play sports competitatively, are excluded from religious education, do not pursue higher education, submit to the authority of the congregation, do not celebrate holidays, go out on field service and attend meetings it is harmful to their development to allow them to be involved.

    In addition the blood doctrine has the potential to put their lives at risk if they are of an age when they can make their own choices about medical treatment and they follow the Watchtower line. Also if they start associating and then commit one of the potential Df'ing offences there is also the danger that if your wife is still commited to the religion she will feel the need to shun them to show loyalty to Jehovah. Your wife may not be fully appreciative of the ramifactions of her choices on her family or long term consequences.

    I would play the headship card believer or not you are the head of the family and as a christian woman you hope she will follow the Bible's counsel on this matter.

  • cantleave
  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    Im sorry, I didnt mean to upset you, I hope I havent?

    What nugget wrote was spot on...x

    If she starts taking the little one to meeting/gatherings on a regular basis, as well as reading the literature like some sweet bedtime story...the ultimate goal will be baptism, and all her JW friends will be constantly reminding her of this.

    This would be a good time to gently remind your wife that GODS SON Jesus wasnt baptised til his 30th year. x

    I dont really know what to say regarding your little one playing with other JW kids, but its up to you to make sure he/she has a great time with other friends at this point. They may even be whispering to him/her regarding saying prayers at school, not colouring in certain pictures, having to sit alone so as not to be involved in the Xmas concert/carols/anything to do with any flag etc......

    It makes me sick that my son had to sit alone in a deserted classroom, because they told me he wasnt allowed to colour in a pumpkin.....yet they protect peadophiles (check out the 2 witness rule), flip flop on docturines, their whole ideology came from a man obsessed with Egyptology, its rotten from the feet up....x

    Im not intellectual, Im just an ex-nurse, now housewife....I stuggle to express myself due to panic and anxiety, forgive me. But one thing I do know, Im on your side. Any problems with the little one, please feel free to PM me.

    Best wishes, Paula x

  • Sulla

    Hmm. We seem to be split right down the middle in respect to my advice: everybody but me hates it.

    Fair enough, I suppose. On the other hand, my viewpoint has some support in the academic literature to back it up. Sort of. If you consult the book, The Murderer Next Door, by Buss, you will read an extensive discussion of murder (of course) but also other sorts of bad behavior that people engage in when their sexual partners think about straying. Thus, men engage in stalking their ex.; women make up lies about the sexual propriety of their rivals. The reason they do this, of course, is because it works. When you raise the cost of dating other men, or decrease the appeal of other women, your partner is more likely to stay with you (or come back to you).

    You would be surprised to learn how many women return to possessive, stalking ex-boyfriends and how many men return to ex-girlfriends when doubts are raised about the new girlfriends. These are effective, if nasty, strategies. On the other hand, this is your wife we're talking about and your future happiness together and your children's lives and their future happiness. I would make it the goal to get he back by any means necessary. If being a nice, subversive guy will do the job, do that. If being a jackass will do the job, be a jackass.

    I understand others disagree.

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