Just have a thought about your "messages" - if you see an ad saying "you have 1 message" it IS advertising, not a function of the board. The little blue envelope on the top right hand side of the screen does not tell you that you have a message, let alone how many. You have to click on the little blue envelope to see IF you have a message. When you see the messages page, it will tell you WHO has sent you a message and the title of their message.
As far as responding to her, just be honest and tell her your thoughts. JWfacts has plenty of info you can use if you wish to use it.
BP (a fellow Aussie)