A polite way to ask someone to keep their hands to themselves...
by White Dove 91 Replies latest social relationships
-
-
Found Sheep
I had a "stiuation" at work. A man EVERY TIME he saw me - almost every day- would run up to me a hug, put his arma round me... I tried the run the other way, mature choice for a while. One day he corrnered me and I just said "please, don't touch me I'm just not a touchy person" He jumped back and said sorry thank you for telling me. Now I just get a nod when he sees me and my Blood Pressure no longer goes up when I see him....
-
talesin
lol @ MASTER BAITERS
--- attention whores are just so boring and a waste of time
t
-
skeeter1
"I am telling you once, 'Do not touch me.' I do not welcome being touched. If I have to tell you again, it will be through the police department as a battery arrest."
-
Snoozy
Found sheep said:
One day he corrnered me and I just said "please, don't touch me I'm just not a touchy person" He jumped back and said sorry thank you for telling me
That's what I said to do, thanks for the verification!.. Touching just comes normal to some people..how will they know you object unless you speak up .
Snoozy
-
EntirelyPossible
I'd be thrilled to shake your hand if we ever meet up at an Apostafest.
No jumping ahead in line. You'll have to wait your turn just like everyone else. But please, I know you mean well, but no touching. It might get totally overblown out of proportion because I am not sure of your intentions.
My goodness, I just can't wait to meet you!
You hate waiting too? OMG we're like twins!
-
nugget
I'm sorry I am uncomfortable with people touching me please stop.
If he states that he is touchy feely and it is just him.
You may be but I am not. I am afraid that I must insist.
If he continues then just get up and walk away.
-
satinka
Chickpea wrote:
you dont have to ASK someone to refrain from touching you! you TELL them
I agree…It’s about respect and personal boundaries. No one has an automatic right to touch you.
No obligation to be polite when someone touches you, uninvited. They are not being polite to touch you, uninvited.
You might remove his hand and say, “I don’t appreciate being touched like that.” Or “I would appreciate if you DON’T touch me.”
WD wrote:
In my faraway land, touching a person when they have told you not to, is considered a 'common assault'. Yes, that is the LAW.
In my far-away land, you don’t even have to touch someone to assault them.
Same, but different…Here is a blog about a masturbation incident that happened on public transportation where the victim was criticized…yes, the VICTIM:
http://hey-whichwayisup.blogspot.com/2011/01/public-masturbation-goes-mainstream.html
The two people referred to:
Obviously, you two don't believe that questions of such nature are appropriate here.
Fortunately for us, those two are not the authority on such matters. They are behaving in a disrespectful and non-validating manner. I believe your question in your original post is perfectly valid. Most women have never been taught to say “no” in a patriarchal society. It’s something we must learn ... later. The key is, it IS SOMETHING WE MUST LEARN because it is entirely appropriate for us to set personal boundaries for ourselves. I notice other similar comments from aSphereisnotaCircle and mrsjones. Nice to see the validation.
Blondie wrote:
A brother should not be touching any woman except his wife, especially if he has been asked not to by another woman. Touching after that becomes sexual harassment. There was an elder in our congregation that felt up all the young single sisters but they were afraid to say anything. He did so others did not see. He tried to add me to his "harem" and I quietly broke his finger without anyone seeing. (Do not piss off Blondie) He made no accusations and kept his distance from us after that.
Blondie rules! If I had half your wits...I would do what you did, too. But I don't. I'm sitll working on my conditioning. Perhaps one day. *sigh*
satinka
-
White Dove
Tiny note: Talesin wrote about in her far away land...:)
Yes, Santika, you are absolutely right. We DO have to learn this after being in such a mysogynistic cult.
Learning a better way of dealing with these social issues, which by the way, happen to always start with MEN.
Go figure.
I have yet to see my neighbor outside. When I do, I'll just let him know how I feel about univited touch.
Wished sometimes that I was Blondie! lol! Could use some of her wits, too.
LADIES,
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR IDEAS, ADVICE, AND SUPPORT. I EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!
-
EntirelyPossible
THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR YOUR IDEAS, ADVICE, AND SUPPORT. I EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU!
No problem. You're quite welcome. Hope it all works out OK.