Are You Raising An Introvert?
by darth frosty 172 Replies latest jw friends
-
-
-
-
LisaRose
Those are all good, I'll be passing them along to my mostly introvert family. -
eva luna
Hey there Darth Frosty,
Just so you know , this topic helped me understand my self and other family members.
It took away so much guilt I had . Gave me understanding.
I will always be grateful.
Take care
-
darth frosty
Happy to hear that Eva Luna!
It did the same for me, its good to understand yourself, even if others cant see it or understand.
-
darth frosty
nuther quora goody
Shravan Venkataraman, I am an introvert and I know it!Let me provide the perspective of the other side. Coming from an introvert, this is how it is like to have a partner who is introverted.
Most of the answers have tipped towards the type of introverts who are shy, reserved, and not really the type who speaks much.
I am going to shed light on the type of introverts who
- prefer to keep to themselves
yet
- talk so much with those who are very close to them.
- take time to trust people and open up
yet
- difficult to make them shut up once they open up.
- prefer to sit at home and watch a movie/read a book
yet
- when thrown in a social party or when put in a crowd, can handle themselves with ease.
- are inquisitive, curious and a lot inward focused
yet
- are also those who prefer to speak only when it is absolutely necessary.
and so on.
What is it like to have a partner like this? He/She is essentially an introvert, but just not your stereotypical introvert type. Let me tell you what it's like to have such a person in your life.1. Their presence forces you to introspect about life:
As far as I have known, I know this very strongly. The people that were even friends with me have told me this. That, the way I am, because of how deeply focused I am and how I live life inside out, they have told me how it inspired them to take some time and think about their life.
It might be direct or just plain indirect inspiration. But, an introvert's presence in your life, introvert of the kind I described, will always inspire you at one or the other point of your life to introspect about your life, what you are doing and how you're doing it.2. They love to listen to you:
I always love to listen to people talk about themselves, their day, their life, aspirations, dreams. Most importantly, I love to listen to people talk about their dreams and aspirations, what kind of work they are doing towards fulfilling them. It's the passion and the sparkle that I see in their eyes that makes me want it more.
I'd rather talk less about my dreams and my story and let people talk about it as passionately as they want to talk about it, and I'd listen so happily.
When it comes down to having a partner, she'd find one thing sure - that she can always talk about anything and everything and that I'd listen.3. They give attention to details:
Introverts, especially those like me, are very particularly attentive about details. You can think about Sherlock Holmes here. Like I mentioned in the #4 of this answer - Shravan Venkataraman's answer to How do introverts enjoy life?, the observational skill of an introvert is the best thing about him/her.
I pay attention to details. I think about everything through. Every conversation, every single word said, every single thing uttered, every single glances shared gets to stay in the memory. So, introverts are naturally good at remembering birthdays, numbers, important events.
You might say something while passing, without any regard to what you're telling or what he/she might be thinking. He/She will definitely notice it. If it's something you love, he/she will take it into account and make sure they show/do it whenever an opportunity is there. The girlfriend of my friend just said something in random passing, showing him a cotton sweet candy seller and told him that she loved it so much in her childhood and that she craved it time and again. The next week, he called her home (they live close by). She went to his home to practice for their upcoming performance (IIT Sarang). And when she arrived at his home, he had a cotton candy waiting for her. I don't have to tell you what happened next, but you get the point right?
This is also something you need to be aware of. Coz, any small hurtful thing you say in passing, will stay with them for a long time, longer than you imagine. You can just randomly pass a snarky comment and it will definitely go deep.4. You become more sensitive (to the beauty around you and also to the pain around you):
Introverts are naturally sensitive and they feel things in extremes. They are so sensitive to beauty that they get to feel beauty in depth. As a result of that, whenever they encounter beauty in anything, they are overwhelmed by the beauty, over come by joy, they can even be reduced to tears of happiness more often than you know it. Take them to a hilltop or take them to an orphanage and have them interact with those children, you can see the evidence of this.
The same thing is basically applicable to the contrast situation too. When they feel pain, they feel it in a magnified way. So, it's kind of very difficult for them when they go through any kind of pain.
How does it affect you as a partner of such an introvert? When you start living with them or sharing your life with them, you tend to be receptive to their sensitivity. It's often difficult to make them come out of their shell and make them share what they are feeling, but you can always see it in them. You become more perceptive, intuitive, sensitive to how they are since you will always have to use your intuition and your sensing capabilities in order to understand what they are going through and take part in it with them, which in turn makes you more sensitive to the beauty around you, and equally sensitive to the pain around you. You start becoming a better person that way.5. They are never insecure. You can be very secure about them.
In my opinion, insecurity is something that's pretty rare with the introverts of the kind I described at the beginning of this post.
In my case, even when my girlfriend has a lot of guy friends (even those that once proposed to her), I am never gonna feel threatened by them. You know why? Coz, I know it in me that no one else can give her what I can. That's the way I am secure in my own space. I am not going to be afraid to lose her, coz you can never lose someone. If I am going to be afraid of something, I will be afraid of losing myself. Even that, I rarely am. Losing myself in her isn't a problem. But, losing the core essence of who I am in the process of going through the relationship day after day, is what I'd be afraid of.
Being an introvert, I make sure that that doesn't happen, by taking time, reflecting and improving myself every single day.
How does it impact you as a partner? Since your partner reflects about his/her life on a daily basis, he/she tends to know your value more than you know it. If you're a deserving person, he/she is going to cherish you and your relationship so much. If you're not, one day or the other, the relationship will fall apart.
Also, since your partner doesn't go out actively flirting or making connections, and since they focus inwardly and work on growing, reading, writing, and developing themselves, they rarely ever snoop out of the relationship to have some thrill and fun.6. You learn what unconditional love is like:
Introverts like me, as partners, are more likely to teach you what unconditional love is.
I love unconditionally. Which means this:
It doesn't matter if you're good, bad, pretty, ugly, handsome, stinky, skinny, fat, etc., the love will always flow through them for you.
Yes, they will often tell you to eat clean, work out, drop those extra kilos, and they will subtly drop hints which will point you towards the direction of becoming your best self. But, it's always going to be out of concern rather than out of something materialistic.
Being with them shows you how unconditional love can be. Being with them opens you up to the world of living in love without any limits, without any limitations. There will be no limits posed on you, as well as the love for you.
And, this gets you to be a lil bit more unconditional with every single passing day.7. They teach you self love:
Introverts like the ones I described, are able to love themselves first before they can give out the overflowing love in them. They have to love themselves first in order to be able to love the others. Other people may wait for you to love them first and then give you back, some may even give first and expect love back necessarily, but this kind I described - they will love themselves first and give the overflowing love to you, whether or not you give it back. Coz, to them, the love comes from a place of abundance and not from a place of scarcity. And, so, they find it effortless to love you.
It all starts with self love. The way they take care of themselves and give attention to the littlest things in their life (like the lights, buildings, song, the drive, etc., shown in the picture above), in your life - makes you wanna love yourself more. You won't even have to consciously do it. You will start becoming the person who loves him/herself more and more every day before giving out love, naturally, when you have such a person's presence in your life.8. It's easy to satisfy them:
People like me, the kind I described, are easily satisfied.
I am easily satisfied with good food, a cozy bed, a warm kiss and a book to read. Otherwise, you don't even have to spend all time all day with me. Just a few minutes everyday with me is enough for me to be satisfied with you in life. I am not someone who would complain that you're not spending enough time. I am not someone who would bug you every now and then. I am not someone who would restrict you from going out or talking to someone or living your life. I am certainly not someone you'd find hard to please or satisfy.
In essence, you don't even have to think about or try pleasing them. They are naturally pleased and your presence and a caring concern from your side is more than enough for them to be happy with you. This applies to everything. I mean "everything".9. When they have a problem and they are sharing it with you, more often than not, they know the solution.
When an introvert is opening up to you about something that's bothering them or about some problem they have encountered, more often than not, they know the solution already.
They won't really want you to solve it for them. And they certainly don't want you to treat them like they don't know the solution or that they can't solve it themselves. Especially during such situations like this, they are very sensitive to the littlest things you say. This is exactly why it is very important to not make fun of them or not do something that could set them off, especially when they muster up courage and open up to share it with you.
They definitely don't want you to make fun of them or something related to the problem they are describing, when they share their problem/what they are going through, with you. So, when they are serious, please take them seriously. Otherwise, you risk making them feel further upset, adding fuel to the fire. They don't always demand your attention, but when they are trying to open up, especially during a difficult situation, they require that you be sensitive towards their feelings.
They will often have the solution and will just want you to listen to what they have to say. If they want your perspective, they will explicitly ask for it. If you want to give him/her your perspective, do so in a way that won't hurt their ego. They are very vulnerable at such situations.10. They are better at parenting:
I have an idea of what kind of world I want to bring my twin-daughters into. And I will make sure that I create such a world for them to be born into and grow up in. We are naturally better as parents. Why? Because of all of the reasons mentioned above. We love unconditionally & we are interesting to talk to (coz we read a lot).
As parents, introverts show children how it's okay to be inward focused. We show our children how important it is to be inward focused. Children learn from their parents' actions rather than from what their parents teach them explicitly. As introverts, they learn from us that
- silence is beautiful.
- words we utter are very important.
- It's wonderful to be sensitive and that
- It's okay to feel things deeply.
- Life's better and easier when we don't care much about what others think about us (especially those who don't matter).
- To be happy, one ought to be inward focused.
- Happiness is independent of everything outside of you and you're in control of your own happiness.
- It's important to respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that doesn't serve you.
- It's important to be in harmony with yourself and with the place you're in if you want to conduct your life peacefully.
- You can be peaceful even when you're in pain.
and so on.
As parents, introverts appear more present to their children than their extrovert counterparts. Introverts tend to give more attention to detail and also generally tend to be more attentive, and hence the children lean more onto the introvert parent more than the extrovert one. Also, since the introvert parent is happier by him/herself, children tend to model them when it comes down to learning to be individualistic and happy on one's own.
So, having an introvert as your partner, you can make sure that they will end up inspiring your children in one way or the other.
This is not an exhaustive list after all. This is just one part of it. There is more to introverts and being a partner of one than you might think. In a way, you get to see your world with a different set of eyes and if there's a biggest takeaway from sharing your life with an introvert, it's the way you learn to look at the world with a different set of glasses. -
-
GrreatTeacher
What's really difficult is when you're introverted and also have ADHD. Your need to be in motion overstimulates your introverted self that needs quiet and stillness and it can make you feel a little nuts. -
darth frosty
This 25 Question Test Will Determine Which Type Of Introvert You Are
http://www.higherperspectives.com/type-introvert-quiz-1547922773.html?xrs=RebelMouse_fbMine
Getty imagesMineYou're the Protector! This introvert type is quite unique, as many of your personality qualities defy the definition of your individual traits. Though you're deeply emotional, you have excellent analytical abilities; though Introverted, you have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and though you are somewhat conservative, you are often receptive to change and new ideas. You are a true altruist, meeting kindness with kindness-in-excess and engaging the work and people you believe in with enthusiasm and generosity! You can literally save the world
