Are You Raising An Introvert?

by darth frosty 172 Replies latest jw friends

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    I’m Not A B*tch, It’s Just My Face: 7 Struggles Of Introverts With RBF

    Amanda MehallAmanda Mehall on Just The Way You AreAug 3, 2015 • 9:35am
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    Chronic bitch face is a plague running rampant throughout Generation-Y, and the public needs to educate itself.

    Resting bitch face (RBF) can affect anyone of any race, age or class, and it is found predominantly in the female species.

    Generally, we’re good f*cking people. Our genetics just screwed us on initially coming off as friendly and approachable. It’s not our fault.

    RBF, combined with an introverted personality, is the absolute worst, though. We sit in the back of any room looking unenthused as hell, but introverts actually have very busy minds.

    Generally, we’re very thoughtful and creative, and we’re good listeners. Unfortunately, those with RBF are damned with emitting an unapproachable, crotchety aura.

    There are a lot of misconceptions about me and my people, but usually, introverts are not antisocial or automatic assh*les.

    So, don’t be so quick to label the silent one with a disgusted expression as an antisocial bitch. We’re actually secretly wonderful.

    Here are seven struggles only introverts with resting bitch face understand:

    1. Whenever you make new friends, they always open up with, “At first, I thought you didn’t like me.”

    This is typically followed by, “You’d always give me dirty looks.”

    We don’t do it on purpose. We can neither help our natural facial expressions, nor can we really control them.

    Or, we often get, “I didn’t know what you thought of me because you don’t really say anything.” What am I supposed to do, scream from the rooftop I think you’re alright?

    Introverts excel in utilizing body language. (Hint, hint.)


    2. You always get thrown the “you’re hard to read” card.

    If you think about it, it makes sense. You generally keep your thoughts to yourself, and your RBF is a natural force field, blocking your true emotions from humanity.

    You can be thrilled about something, but you have the same facial expression you do when you’re thinking about banging your head against the wall. You know the difference yourself, but all everyone else sees is that classic RBF.


    3. Introductions are hell.

    First of all, the introvert in you barely knows what to say to begin with. Then, your b*tch face radiates the “don’t want to be here or around you” vibe, making you come off 110 percent uninterested in almost every situation.

    Creating an uncomfortable feeling for complete strangers is your natural talent.


    4. At any point in time, someone will think you are mad at him or her.

    Introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries and feel like themselves. We genuinely enjoy being alone sometimes, and it’s nothing personal.

    We don’t always answer our phones right away, so chances are we’re not intentionally ignoring anyone.

    Four unanswered texts and one day later, we’re walking around looking like someone just pissed in our iced latte. It can make anyone ask questions.


    5. If you don’t want to look miserable, you have to make an exhausting, conscious effort.

    For some odd reason, strangers think it’s totally fine to tell you it wouldn’t hurt you to crack a smile. (Yes, it would.) The introvert just responds with a fake laugh and moves along.

    The line, “It’s just my face,” doesn’t really do you justice anymore. So on most occasions, we just keep it to ourselves, and besides, who really cares?

    Also, the very limited number of times I’ve attempted to not have an RBF and “cracked a smile,” I felt like I looked like some creepy killer plotting my next move. It just doesn’t work, so just embrace the RBF for what it’s worth.


    6. People outside of your friend group think you’re a complete snob.

    Introverts are more so observers than anything else. We gather information on our surroundings and the people in them, analyze it and make ourselves feel as comfortable as we can. It just so happens we do so with a permanent scowl on our faces.

    I’ve been told multiple times that I can give off the “I think I’m better than everyone else in the room” vibe, which is false in every possible way.

    I’m well aware of my flaws, as one of them not being able to find the off switch to my chronic bitch face.


    7. Your true emotions only come out when you’re involved with something you’re passionate about.

    Like, hell yes you want to go to Taco Bell! And if some assh*le is messing with one of your best friend’s peace of mind, you have something to say about it. Debates for you are surprisingly a piece of cake, if they concern an issue you basically live to fight for.

    If we show real, raw emotion in front of people, they should embrace it because it’s rare. (Unless it concerns guacamole or something because that’s always pure bliss.)

    The light at the end of the tunnel? Because you seldom voice the endearing thoughts you have buried deep inside your mind, when you compliment someone, he or she automatically knows it’s genuine.

    You wouldn’t say something if it wasn’t true because you don’t really say anything at all to begin with.

    When you first open your mouth, people half expect you to spew a slew of passive aggressive insults formulated to sound inoffensive, but definitely are.

    However, kind words coming from a silent person with RBF syndrome can really put a smile on anyone’s face, even a fellow chronic RBF.

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Mannn #5 is the TRUTH!!!

    I have in the last coupla years been trying to have a smile on my face instead of the RBF. Yet I still seemed to fail. Just the other day I was reading an article that said people with an open lip smile are believed to be more trustworthy than those with a closed lip smile?!?

    I thought a smile was a smile...now you want me to actually part my lips SMDH!

  • KiddingMe
    KiddingMe
    Thanks for such great information!
  • Vidiot
    Vidiot
    Does this mean that supermodels are RBF introverts?
  • done4good
    done4good

    Excellent read, DF.

    My introverted nature was a big reason why the extroverted world of JW was very disagreeable to me on many levels, and I even said so as a JW..

    d4g

  • Introvert 2
    Introvert 2

    Hehehe, good thread ditto on most points. Being in a car group is the worst for me, I prefer going as a pair with lots of walking regardless of the weather. That and getting me to sit still for long periods of times at assemblies is lethal. This summer during the RC I got a bad case of panic attack and wondered if I was even going to make it out of the auditorium. Major cognitive dissonance when I heard the prepared unnatural contrived question / repeat part. I'm sort of like a wild animal in that I need freedom to roam, restrict me for any length of time around people and it's not gonna go too well someone going to get a knuckle sandwich eventually. Country boy through and through. I left one cong for another over ten years ago when some bully elder was pushing my buttons, my exit caused quite a stir.

  • done4good
    done4good

    If #7 isn't truth, I don't know what is.

    d4g

  • FadeToBlack
    FadeToBlack

    Many thanks for this thread reappearing. Need to read it all from the start again. Many years ago I had an elder tell me that I had to be an extrovert to be a succesfull JW. My first thought: so you can't be a JW and be an introvert?

    Many years later I realized he was right.

  • Xanthippe
    Xanthippe

    I love this thread. Thanks for bringing it back DF. Loved your quote about people with an open-lipped smile are more trustworthy that those with a closed-lip smile. So funny! Introverts know who is trustworthy and who isn't instantly don't we?

    All the fake body language in the world won't make any difference at all. I always know when people are lying. That because I'm a useless introvert! Damn it we survive though don't we!

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Lessons Introverts Need to Learn to Become Leaders

    Some of the most successful people in the world are introverts. Here's how they became leaders!
    Entrepreneur and investor@johnrampton
    2.6k SHARES

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    IMAGE: Getty Images

    A leader is best when people barely know he exists. … Of a good leader, who talks little, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: We did it ourselves. --Lao Tzu

    While it might not seems so from the outset, most introverts are in an ideal position to become leaders, because of the nature of their personality. Introversion and extroversion are considered two opposing points on a scale, but in reality, everyone has certain elements of each trait.

    The main difference between the two types of personalities is that introverts tend to keep to themselves, reflecting more on their own psychic conditions, while extroverts are more social, finding inspiration from the world outside themselves. Introverts make excellent leaders, not necessarily by being social, but by applying their keen thoughts, sense of reflection, and attention to detail in all their projects; as well as by forming deeper and more meaningful relationships with their cohorts (everybody knows: small talk is an introvert's anathema).

    According to the Lao Tzu quote above, these qualities also contribute in the work of the best leaders. As such, we have a number of world-renowned leaders who have upended their industries just by relying on the natural advantages of being introverted, such as Barack Obama, Mark Zuckerberg, Richard Branson, and J.K. Rowling.

    Lesson 1. Be vocal about accomplishments

    Regardless of the quality of the work they do, introverts tend to get overlooked because they're not necessarily vocal about their accomplishments. After all, a programmer who quietly keeps to herself is not necessarily going to draw much attention, even if she produces amazing work. Introverts are famously averse to self-promotion, but are fundamentally successful at producing quality work.

    This makes moving up the chain much harder. Introverts need to have a good sense of what they're good at, and be able to step up to defend their accomplishments to nab the positions they want.

    Lesson 2. Foster deeper, more meaningful relationships with primary decision makers

    One misconception of introverts is that they are shy, afraid of socializing, or antisocial, when in fact introverts generate more energy through self-reflection. It's not that they can't talk to people, it's that their energy levels dwindle during times of interaction.

    What this means is that when introverts do form new connections, they tend to dive deeper than superficial small talk and foster more meaningful relationships with the people they talk to. This is their advantage--it allows them to relate in a memorable way to the people they talk to. And by meeting more important people in their companies and sharing their unique ideas, introverts can stand out.

    Lesson 3. Apply the attention to detail and listening skills to contribute more thoughtful ideas into discussions

    A common characteristic among introverts is a more refined attention to detail, and the ability to listen. As they spend so much time in their own heads, they can work out often overlooked aspects of certain projects, and follow their gut to important endpoints.

    It's these qualities that make them valuable members of any team. They think and listen first, and speak second. By harnessing this innate ability in larger discussions that include different points of views, it'll be no time before the people around them start leaning in to hear more.

    Lesson 4. Take time on your own to recharge, but challenge yourself socially every day

    Most introverts feel at their best when they're on their own, so it's important for their well-being to have a certain amount of time in a day set aside to recharge, reflect, and bask in isolation. However, it's equally important that they take some time to challenge themselves socially and in a low-threat situations, like going out to lunch with colleagues and participating more than usual in meetings.

    One rule that known introvert Marissa Mayer uses to help her get through uncomfortable social situations is by glancing at her watch, setting a time for herself, and telling herself, "You are not allowed to leave until this time. If you are still having a terrible time by this time, then you can leave." By forcing herself into that set timeframe, she is challenging herself to get over initial self-consciousness and opening herself up to the situation around her.

    I’ve applied this in my own life. When I’m at a networking event, I always set a time that I can leave. For me this is typically around 30 to 45 minutes after I get there. I can force myself to network as much as possible because I know I don’t have to do it for that long, and this has helped me get over my introvertedness.

    Lesson 5. Use social media, email, and public forums to your best advantage

    Introverts might not be very active socially, but what they miss out on in lost interactions, they make up for in social media. Since introverts are known to communicate better with the written word, particularly behind a screen, it's no surprise that many are extremely savvy in social networking.

    Well, now's a great time to be social network savvy! Having a big list of connections and the ability to write eloquent emails has never been more effective in convincing people of your skills and talents.

    Being an introvert does not mean you cannot be a leader. It simply means you need to learn to play up your strengths

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