The secret things men hate about being men

by FlyingHighNow 129 Replies latest jw friends

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    These are hastily thought up facts and then some stereo-typical reasons, in response to Sam's Why men seldom get depressed thread. Feel free to add ones that have been missed.

    Men:

    Have to shave everyday or they look like Miami Vice wannabe's.

    Have to register for the draft.

    Have to keep up that macho image for their buds.

    Have to pretend to love beer.

    To them, size is an important issue. Their brains get twisted in knots wondering if it matters to women.

    Need little blue pills. 40% of men need them after 40 and over 70% need them from 70 on and for some the blamed pills dont' work for them at all.

    Blue pills cost at least ten dollars a piece.

    Men: don't get the credit they deserve for being class A nags. Poor fellas. Think governing body and elders, the champions of the art of nagging.

    Men: they get stuck with wives who just never, ever can cook, clean, or bail them out of trouble like their mommies.

    Men: neck ties.

    They are too proud to ask for directions so they spend 2 years, 45 days, 7.5 hours, 20 seconds driving around lost during their life times.

    They are not allowed to cry, dammit. Not even when they slam their fingers in the car door. The only time it is okay for men to cry is when their hound dogs die.

    They cannot have tea cup toy poodles with pink toenails, pink ear bows and pierced ears riding around in their pockets. They especially cannot name them Fifi or Chiffon.

    Have to button the top button on dress shirts.

    Have to pretend they don't love quiche.

    Have to pretend they come from Mars.

    Have to pretend they don't watch Hallmark Channel and Oprah.

    Have to pretend they hate Nanci Pelosi and that they love Sarah Palin.

    Can get woody at the most inconvenient times.

  • doofdaddy
    doofdaddy

    "Need little blue pills. 40% of men need them after 40".....Is that strictly an American thing, or do I have good genes? LOL!

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Doof, you must have good genes. Your wife if lucky.

  • VampireDCLXV
    VampireDCLXV
    Have to pretend to love beer.

    What planet are you on? I love beer! No need for ME to pretend...

    V665V665

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Here's another couple:

    Get tired of being blamed for the yellow puddles around the toilet.

    Who can they yell at when they leave the seat up, get in a hurry and then find themselves falling in?

  • I quit!
    I quit!

    What is this the bag on men thread?

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow
    What is this the bag on men thread?

    It's a tongue-in-cheek answer to Sam Whiskey's thread about why men don't get depressed very often.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Stereo types put a lot of pressure on men. This is just a tongue in cheek thread. Like men being told they can't ever cry. What a cruel bunch of pressure to put on boys and men. Not that they should be cry babies, but sometimes it really is okay to cry.

  • doofdaddy
    doofdaddy

    My wife is lucky...We are divorced! It's the single women who rate me!!

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Okay, well, the ladies who are with you are lucky that you don't need little blue pills.

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