The secret things men hate about being men

by FlyingHighNow 129 Replies latest jw friends

  • Robdar
    Robdar
    Like you admitting to jumping on a trampoline in the buff?

    ~giggle~ It was a damn good time. And you should have seen the nude sketches. They were awesome.

    Look, I never said I wasn't crazy. I am and I have the kind of fun that only crazy people have the guts to try. I guess I get disturbed by all the bitterness. I just don't understand it. Maybe that's why I've gotten laid more than some posting on this thread.

  • Robdar
    Robdar
    Rob, some of us were slightly crazy before we were JW's.

    Amen, Sister FHN! I'm a preacher's kid. I think we all know what that means.

    Cheers!

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    I kind of flow in and out of craziness. Somedays I feel almost normal. Others I feel kinda out there. But no matter what, I try to have fun. My best good friend said to me recently, "Heather, your Native American name should be Balances Substance With Fun." And that good friend? A man.

  • Robdar
    Robdar
    "Heather, your Native American name should be Balances Substance With Fun." And that good friend? A man.

    FHN, I'd say he was spot on.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Robyn, yours could be Balances Brains With Moxie.

  • HintOfLime
    HintOfLime
    Like you admitting to jumping on a trampoline in the buff?

    Mmm. I smell an Oscar.

    - Lime

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    Bouncing on a trampoline naked: did you hold onto the girls? That could smart.

  • Aussie Oz
    Aussie Oz

    Have to shave everyday or they look like Miami Vice wannabe's. never shave everyday... and way to handsome for miami vice...

    Have to register for the draft. too old for that if they did it...

    Have to keep up that macho image for their buds. nope, i'm a pussy

    Have to pretend to love beer. never pretended...i dont like it.

    To them, size is an important issue. Their brains get twisted in knots wondering if it matters to women.never worried about that one,and nor have the ladies

    Need little blue pills. 40% of men need them after 40 and over 70% need them from 70 on and for some the blamed pills dont' work for them at all. My wife is a blue pill..

    .Blue pills cost at least ten dollars a piece. leaves me more money for the hotrod

    Men: don't get the credit they deserve for being class A nags. Poor fellas. Think governing body and elders, the champions of the art of nagging. i cant nag...she tells me to shut up!

    Men: they get stuck with wives who just never, ever can cook, clean, or bail them out of trouble like their mommies. lucky me... mine dont feed me liver like momma did.

    Men: neck ties. didnt mind them but have not worn one for since leaving the WT

    They are too proud to ask for directions so they spend 2 years, 45 days, 7.5 hours, 20 seconds driving around lost during their life times. I always ask

    They are not allowed to cry, dammit. Not even when they slam their fingers in the car door. The only time it is okay for men to cry is when their hound dogs die. i like to cry, when i need to...very healthy

    They cannot have tea cup toy poodles with pink toenails, pink ear bows and pierced ears riding around in their pockets. They especially cannot name them Fifi or Chiffon. ok... probably true on this one!

    Have to button the top button on dress shirts. sometimes...

    Have to pretend they don't love quiche. i love quiche... its food

    Have to pretend they come from Mars. no pretending... i amHave to pretend they don't watch Hallmark Channel and Oprah. often watched oprah...and doctor phil (no longer watch TV)

    Have to pretend they hate Nanci Pelosi and that they love Sarah Palin. who are they?

    Can get woody at the most inconvenient times. Its NEVER inconvenient...

  • finallyfree!
    finallyfree!

    fhn: love your thread!!

    but must add the most controversial point of all time and the one we all lie to ourselves about.... men have to whack off at least every other day (in addition to any other action we get from our gf's/ wives/ or any other source) in the morning shower or bathroom break at the office.

    why? cuz we're men!! and if you say "no i just do my gf!!" then i hope your bullshit detector is finely tuned cuz you know ur lying!! lol! :-)

  • Nickolas
    Nickolas

    Did someone leave the front gate open?

    Shamus, you are apparently suffering from a crisis of identity, or perhaps just from ignorance. You are an orangutan, I am a bonobo. We are apes. Neither of us is a monkey. You can tell the difference between monkeys and apes quite easily, because we have no tails while monkeys do. Reach around back of yourself and give it a little feel. No, not in front, Shamus, that's something else. In back. Feel anything? No? See? You're an ape. A dumb ape, but an ape nevertheless. Now, go outside and play. Good boy.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit