Are you a fader, Df'd, DA'd, or Still In?

by brotherdan 86 Replies latest jw experiences

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    I tried to fade but finally decided to DA myself- family was already going back and forth treating me like I was DF'd even when I wasn't. Got tired of elder visits and calls and trying to be poilte.

  • d
    d

    Yes I left in 2008 after an incident had occured I finally just could not do it so I left in sometime in november of 2008.The witness do still call the house but I just ignore them.

  • mamalove
    mamalove

    I walked away officially summer of 2009. No announcements have been made.

  • SlipnSlide
    SlipnSlide

    Started fading within the last 2 years. I felt guilty and went back to the meetings because the "friends" said that they "missed me". I'm not with the male dominace of the Borg or the shunning of others when they no longer want to be a witness. All of the flaws I that I observed just made me sick of the whole thing. The icing on the cake was the fact that my very judgmental, holier than thou, arrogant, know it all, ignorant, lying, and self-gratifying brother-in-law (elder) cheated on my sister. My sister is the only one left on my side of the family that is a witness. I have in-laws who will never leave, so they are a lost cause. My husband was raised in the truth, but will never we a witness because of the things he has seen and heard since his father was also an elder. Being a very private person, I don't think that it's anyone's business whether I disassociate myself of get disfellowshiped. I will never discuss my business with any elders or bro/sis(s) in the congregation. I no longer attend meetings (was forced to go for one month while living with in-laws). I have moved to a new state so I feel relatively free to live as I choose. Will not attend the Memorial, go out in field service, go to the Convention this year either. Matter of fact, I have not gone to a District convention since 2007.

  • blondie
    blondie

    I was under the understanding that the congregation retains your publisher cards even if you are df'd or da'd. Yearly those cards are reviewed; some may call on the df'd or occasionally on the da'd. But if you have been identified as "apostate" they can identify you as dangerous and make sure current jws do not call on you by mistake. You can only really leave if they decide you can. It is very similar to elders not being able to quit but only allowed to do so by administration in WTS headquarters.

    I view "fading" as a means to get your financial situation in order (not dependent on jws or WTS) and to make new friends, a new social circle to take the place of those who will drop you, df'd or da'd or not.

  • Had To Go
    Had To Go

    Some may consider me a fader...I just up and quit going. There was no slow process.

    A "friend" came over and told me that another friend's husband stopped going to the KH because he was doing some research. I tried not to show the excitement on my face. I pretty much immediately contacted this person and obtained CoC and Combatting Cult Mind Control and the rest is history.

    The ONLY thing that could make this better would be if my family would stop attending. Instead my husband is on a spiritual high that I hope deflates one day.

  • Cthulhu
    Cthulhu

    Da'ed a bit over a year ago.

  • Reader1
    Reader1

    Faded....I did the slow, very slow fade before I had gathered enough information to know for a fact that this religion is not worth the effort.

    I have moved to a new city since then, and there is no record of where I am now. I live my life as I choose (to a certain extent). My new girlfriend is also an ex-JW, and she is still mentally divorcing herself from the cult. They do call on her, from time to time. but nobody knows who I am there. I'm just some guy.

    If they do find me, and if they do come after me, I am not sure what I would do. I would likely try to have my judicial committee meeting in the foyer of the hall after a meeting. Being judged by the city gates, just like in ancient Israel.

  • VampireDCLXV
    VampireDCLXV

    I'm fading away and I haven't seen the inside of a KH in over 2 years. All of my family lives out of town but I'm still stuck here where me and my sibs grew up. Neither my family nor my old congo quite know what I'm up to but the family is starting to wonder. Either I move away soon or get "caught" doing something ppl think I shouldn't...

    V665V665

  • finallysomepride
    finallysomepride

    Faded over very long period, from 1983, quit totally in 2002 by just never going back, I had moved to a different country in 2001 so it was much easier.

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