Are you a fader, Df'd, DA'd, or Still In?

by brotherdan 86 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TheLoveDoctor
    TheLoveDoctor

    Im still in, trying to fade into inactivity. If not for family id be gone

  • Awen
    Awen

    I was Dfed in 1998 for allowing an unmarried couple (non-JW's) to stay in my home. They had been homeless and I took pity on them.

    The elders demanded that I throw them out before I was corrupted. My landlord stepped in and said I couldn't throw them out (as he was related to them) and so I found myself in a bind. I had no intention of throwing them out, but I told the elders what my landlord said and they replied that I needed to find another place to stay, which was difficult for me as I had already paid my monthly rent and wouldn't be paid for another week. They gave me 7 days to make my decision and when I told them I didn't have the money to move and I thought it was wrong to throw two people out of my home, they DFed me.

    I have often entertained the idea of going back. Not to be reinstated, that means nothing to me. But to help the DFed ones who are treated so badly. Also by trying to convince certain ones that they do not need to follow the GB, but to put their faith in Christ.

    I fully expect the organization to fall in the next few years. I can't explain it, I just feel strongly it will happen and many JW's will be lost.

    I don't consider myself a guide of any kind, but rather a signpost, pointing the way that people should go. I feel this is what God wants me to do and I understand I will be persecuted for my efforts. I accept that fact and the price I will have to pay for my efforts.

    This will be my form of witnessing, ministering to others who are lost or confused.

  • cskyjw.sun
    cskyjw.sun

    i am still in

  • meangirl
    meangirl

    Fader. Only meetings we have been to as a family in the past 2 years is the memorial and I don't even know if I will go this year. I sent a letter disassociating myself to an elder through email and copied that letter to all my JW's including friends/family about 2 years ago but my mom called the elder and begged me not to disassociate myself. So I did not. Just recently I even sent an email to all the JW's I know including an elder in my old hall attaching the letter saying how sisters were not to bind the elder book and even put a snarky message with it like "I know I am just a lowly sister but if you need help binding your new elder's book I will be happy to do so." That has not even gotten me in trouble!!!! I think they all know how badly we were treated and honestly don't even try and defend the society anymore......So I guess I am a very successful fader and I AM THE MASTER FADER!

  • truthseekeriam
    truthseekeriam

    Faded in the aftermath of finding out our child had been molested by a fellow JW. Not because it happened but because of how we were treated in the aftermath.

    It started with a slow fade in 2008. By 2009 we knew we wouldn't be going back so we just stopped completely sometime after the memorial.

    Have to say, it was the best decision we could have made, we would have never been able to heal knowing what we knew, if we stayed.

    So far they have pretty much left us alone, however I know eventually we will have to make that final decision to completely break loose of that little hold they still have. Who wants to live their lives having to look over their shoulder? Not me.

    Thank God I didn't push my kids into baptism, they are free to live their lives however they wish. It makes me so happy seeing them be normal teenagers

  • Black Sheep
    Black Sheep

    Why is it that every time someone asks this question, they don't think to include born-in-never-dunked?

    You haven't given me a box to check.

    Chris

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    I went from being what they termed "exemplary publisher" to a regular publisher to a low-hour publisher with irregular boasting session attendance to zero.

  • ambersun
    ambersun

    Faded as a family over 20 years ago. Moving to a new location and change of congregation helped to initiate the fade without attracting too much attention or any dreaded visits from elders to put us on the spot.

    Would like to officially DA ourselves from the WTS and tell them what we think of them and their damaging teachings, but unable to as most of our extended families on both sides are active JWs yet they have all been wonderfully understanding towards us. We love them too much to risk losing contact with them if they are forced to shun us, which so far has not happened, thank goodness.

    Also, by keeping the door open so to speak, we will be able to help any other family members who decide to fade and need support in the future.

  • Amelia Ashton
    Amelia Ashton

    I went in after d2d contact and after 3 studies over 10 years eventually got baptised in 1998.

    No-one has spoken to me now for 2 years, so I would class myself as being shunned although I have not been notified that I have been officially d'fd. Not sure what would happen if I went back into a KH.

    My "sin"? An already struggling and depressed single Mum who then got attacked by a masked man in her own home and now finds life even more difficult.

    I have not had a single visit or phone call from any-one since telling them what happened. Now I go on apostate websites and find people in as much pain as me and for the most part people who are supportive.

  • wobble
    wobble

    Fat Fader

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