I didn't even know i WAS an apostate! (page 4)

thenoblelodge

Everyone has offered good advice so take your time and digest it all. My prayers are with you.

Just breathe and take things slow.

Philippians 4:6-7 (New International Version)

6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

John 14:6 (New International Version)

6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

1 Timothy 2:5 (New International Version)

5 For there is one God and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus

John 10:7-10 (New International Version)

7 Therefore Jesus said again, "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. 8 All who ever came before me were thieves and robbers, but the sheep did not listen to them. 9 I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

You need peace but you need to ask the Mediator, to come in via the gate.

Blessings,

Stephen

wobble

BIG WOBBLE WELCOME GrandmaJones !

I can empathise completely with your situation, I was 58 years in from birth, (I am nearly 61 now), all my family down to my great nephews and nieces are in, a number are elders etc. etc.

My dear 90 year old mum is still in and active ! goes to all the meetings and out in FS every week.

I left after many years of really being apostate, by their definition, like yourself.

The advice on here to sit back, keep your own counsel, and wait for the dust to settle within yourself is good. The mistake is to believe that you can easily wake up others, especially your nearest and dearest, by telling them what you learn in your research.

That is a dangerous route to take, you can easily end up DF'd. There are ways to get your thoughts over, and ways to extricate yourself from the WT which can be discussed with us on here later, when ,and if you, are ready.

Please let us know on here of your feelings and problems, we are here for you, to help you get to wherever you want to be.

There is no hurry, you have all the time you need to consider and eventually to act as you decide.

Love and hugs,

Wobble

p.s I am sending you a P.M, just click on the little letter symbol at the top right of your page, if the message won't open, press your back button and try again.

ambersun

Grandma Jones, {{{{{{{welcome}}}}}}}}.

I can't really add anything to the great advice already given by other posters, except to say I hope that just knowing there are others here (myself included) who understand exactly how you feel will help you through this difficult time.

There was a time that I used to have panic attacks about losing practically everyone I loved when they found out how I felt about 'The Truth', but fortunately that has never happened and my JW family have come to accept me for the person I am now. Hopefully the same will happen to you. Take care of yourself.

THE GLADIATOR

GrandmaJones

The people here have given you good advice. You need time to adjust and take in the realisation that you have come to. There is nothing to be gained by trying to tell other congregation members how you feel.

Life goes on and if you don't rock the boat you may not have to lose your family and friends.

Take your time and wear a hat to cover the horns that you are starting to grow.

zoiks

Welcome, GrandmaJones, and thanks for sharing your feelings with us! Indeed, having someone to talk to who won't overreact or judge is an invaluable help at a time like this. In the meantime, please don't hesitate to seek support on this forum.

bigmac

i was raised from pre-teens as a JW child, getting baptised at 14.

in my early 20's, having been a servant & a regular pioneer, i realised i simply didn't believe in any god, & as my wife was expecting our first child, i told the overseer i would allow a blood transfusion if needed.

the overseer told me to "back away" from the religion untill i got my thinking straight.

3 years later i resigned (verbally)--this was after a committee meeting called after someone had reported me for saying something out of keeping. the committee decided there was no case to answer, but i was glad to resign anyway.

i then made the mistake of occasionally attending meetings--like the memorial, special talks etc., to appease my nagging spouse.

this state of affairs went on for a few years until i did have an affair with one of the sisters

she was disfellowshipped, but in my ( obvious ) absence it was announced that as i was not a JW i could not be disfellowsipped

so they announced i was an apostate instead!--for adultery????

when i found out about this, i was (1) delighted they acknowledged my non-jw status

& (2) puzzled as to what it meant to be "apostate"---one told me it meant i had gone to another religion ( as if that one wasn't enough for 1 lifetime )

someone else said it was because i was preaching against the religion ( thats a new name for what i was doing! )

this happened in 1980

so for nearly half my life ive been a happy apostate-----but my kids have shunned me since they were old enough to make their choice

you pay a high price to be a JW---but you only find the real cost when you leave.

Black Sheep

Hi Grandma Jones.

I'm sorry we had to meet under these circumstances.

Please don't 'let the cat out of the bag' yet. Take your time. Don't behave any differently. You need time to get over your shock and then to make a plan for the future.

(((((GrandmaJones)))))

Chris

scarredforlife

Grandma Jones, Welcome to the board. You've gotten great advice. Always feel that you can post here. We understand you completely.

Bonnie_Clyde

Hi Grandma Jones - glad you came on board. I'm also a grandma and was a long-time witness. Still have lots of relatives who are in so know how you are feeling. Just remember, you don't owe anybody any explanations. Just do what your heart and mind tell you to do.

Bonnie

I didn't even know i WAS an apostate!