I didn't even know i WAS an apostate!

by GrandmaJones 71 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Ding

  GrandmaJones,

  My grandmother used to tell me, "If you don't talk, no one will know what you're thinking."

  She didn't mean to clam up and say nothing at all. She meant, "Don't reveal things you don't want to reveal."

  Be nice. Be friendly. But say nothing at all to current JWs about your views of the organization.

  When you need to talk, come on here and talk with us instead as you are doing.

  Give yourself plenty of time to think.

  Pray about things silently.

  You said that several members of your fleshly family have similar views.

  Just listen to them and gauge where they are with all of this but don't jump in right away if they criticize the Society. Just listen.

  You can miss some meetings by truthfully saying that you're not feeling well these days.

  If that doesn't work and you decide to go to meetings, sit there and read your Bible -- read through Romans or Galatians or Ephesians.

  Remember, we are here for you any time.
• 

  yknot

  

  Take a few deep breaths......

  I am happy to know you have woken up! Welcome to the conscious class club!

  How and what you do from here is determined only by you.

  Many of us are still 'in' for social reasons.

  If you choose to talk to 'asleep' or 'captive' JWs.... keep in mind what we have all learned from field service....... don't be 'outright' be easy and disarming by using 'opening' or 'leading' questions, segway into a scripture and another question? Let the JW feel like they are 'leading' you. You can always pose questions if you assert a householder asked.... you can approach your sons (they might be somewhat conscious too having to deal with all the go-between stuff of WTS micro-management)...... just make sure you know what conclusion you wish them to draw and nudge them in the right direction publication wise for the answer.

  Be cautious.

  Know you are not alone, the CC club is growing everyday!

  If you feel some 'heat' plead ignorance or stumbling based on the above 'challenge' (honestly there is so much flip, flop very few JWs really have a clear clue on doctrinal matters).

  I will be 'PMing' you later tonight .....just click on the little envelope next to your name. When you click on the message, you will get a error page, hit the back button and click again ....the message should appear!

  Hugs!
• 

  Judge Dread

  Granny,

  Just believe the Bible over what anyone teaches.

  That's what I do.

  I'll take my chances with God over this Org. or any other.

  Judge Dread
• 

  Witness My Fury

  My mothers been "in" for nearly 50 years, you have given me some hope and that I shouldnt write her off just yet!

  Welcome fellow traveller. This is a long journey for most of us.

  Cheers
• 

  laverite

  Grandma Jones,

  Please, please just be very careful whatever you do. Take your time to figure things out. Then take a lot more time to figure out what (if anything) you plan to do about what you've figured out. Please don't reveal too much on this site or any other (e.g. don't give away too many personal details that could easily identify you to those who may actually know you in real life...You can't ever really know who is reading on here - there could be people from your congreation lurking, who knows!).

  There are some amazing people here. You WILL have the support you need. And one more time please, please, please just proceed slowly and be careful.

  Hugs,

  -LV
• 

  jamiebowers

  My first thought too was for you to contact Granny Grace. Once you've been on JWN for a while, you'll get to know people who you can trust. I just feel so badly for you. I'm sending you my phone number via private message. Click on the blue envelope in the upper right hand corner. When you click on an incoming message, you'll get an error message. Just hit the back arrow key in the upper left hand corner, and try again.
• 

  factfinder

  Welcome!
• 

  WTWizard

  Actually, they changed the definition of "apostate". Before, you had to actively teach something that went against their doctrines. You had to actually take a stand against what they were teaching, and it had to be beyond taking a more moderate viewpoint. Now, all you need do is think something might be wrong, even if you don't actively teach it or vocalize it, to be labelled "apostate". They are doing this because they know their faith is impossible to defend--at least in the 1980s, one could offer something that would be plausible. Now, they can't.
• 

  Hadit

  Welcome to the forum GrandmaJones! I'm happy you've realized the truth about the WTS. We are here to help you and to listen. You've been given some great advice. Please sit back and let things settle. It is extremely traumatic and shocking to have your whole foundation ripped from under you. Be cautious as to who you talk to. Be kind to yourself as this takes time to sort through. This is a great place get support. Many lovely people here to help you through this journey.

  I wish you all the best. You are in my thoughts.

  Hugs being sent!

  Hadit
• 

  cognizant dissident

  Grandma Jones

  We are taught as JW's to take our beliefs very seriously and we must proclaim our beliefs far and wide for all to hear (whether they want to or not!)

  We are taught that we cannot just sit there, we must do something! Save the world!

  Challenge those beliefs like you have challenged the others. Don't just DO something. Sit there! Sit quietly, breathe deeply. You have changed some of your beliefs. The sky is not falling. The end is not nigh. You don't HAVE to tell anyone anything if you don't want to.

  You just changed your mind. You might do so again tomorrow, and again next year. Humans do it all the time, every day, all over the world. No need to make a dramatic announcement to anyone. There is no drama, unless you make it a drama or tell some other JW's who make it a big drama.

  Sit with all the changes in your mind, until you are calm and comfortable with them. The more comfortable you are with them, the more calm and comfortable those around you will be.

  Later you can ask yourself what you would like to do with this new information you have learned. Tell someone? Why? Will it benefit them? You? Are you sure? What would be the worst case scenario in telling? The best case? Can you live with the consequences of the worst case? No? Then rethink again. When you are sure what you would like to do, if anything at all, then you can act with confidence, from your own choice, not from panic or reaction to the bullying of others.

  If you are bursting to talk now, because it would benefit you, then talk to a non-JW as many others have suggested.

  Hope this is helpful. Let us know what develops.

  Cog