Beks, If you had known me when I was 20 you would know how much progress I've made!
What advice would you give to your 20 year old self?
by paul from cleveland 69 Replies latest jw friends
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snowbird
A lot of what YKnot said.
When I was 20, I'd been married for some time, had a 1 month old, and was trying to please everybody.
The advice I would have given myself was, tell all the takers - husband, mother, siblings, JW's - to kiss the blackness of your derriere!
Thank you.
Sylvia
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goldensky
What a thought-provoking question, Paul! I love it! OK, this is what I would say to myself, "Dearest Olga, believe it or not, I'm you in 29 years' time. I'm about to give you the best pieces of advice anybody could ever give you, so listen to me as attentively as you possibly can: first of all, JWs DON'T have the truth, so get out graciously and redefine your whole set of values and beliefs by informing yourself about as vast an array of philosophies, religions, and points of view as you reasonably can. Work whole-souled at understanding every person you meet and contributing to his well-being. That's the key to your own happiness. I know you firmly believe in not ever having children, but there's no greater source of joy and completeness, no words can describe the tenderness and energizing feeling of responsibility you will derive from them, so don't wait until the age of 38 to begin a family. You will be in love many times and it will be magical, the closest to naturally being high on drugs, but it will only last a few months each time, so enjoy it to the full for as long as it lasts and don't feel something has failed when it's over. The day will come when you will realize after the magic is gone there will still be a lot of love, deep love left for a particular man, not because he is perfect, not because your heart skips a beat when you see him, but because he loves you with all his heart, because he's a hard worker, courageous, and because he is a friend that will never let you down. He will be a great father too. Be a team, be forgiving and flexible. Enjoy one day at a time, marvel at the world around you. Surround yourself by humble, intelligent, cheerful people who make you feel good. Ignore those who envy you. Look after your health, love your body. Enjoy the miracle of life".
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dandingus
See that red pill there? Down the hatch...
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Think About It
I'm 20 years old at the time and have 3 girl friends.
Girl (A) Absolutely beautiful with great body, but has a small child and loves to smoke pot.
Girl (B) Very pretty, wholesome pure JW virgin.
Girl (C) Average looks, complete always horny slut, family has money & she makes great money as a nurse.
Guess which one I pick......remember, I'm 20 yrs old at the time.
Think About It
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cantleave
Think about it you don't pick 1 - you have them in sequence.
Bed girl A and steal her dope, give the stolen dope to girl B, when she is stoned bed her too, and invite girl C for a threesome.
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WuzLovesDubs
Id say "Do NOT get married you are too damn YOUNG!" And I would also have bought stock in Walmart and Microsoft...if it was around in 1974...not sure LOL!
But becoming a JW gave me my amazing kids so that part of my life, compared to never having them...I will keep.
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awildflower
I'll bet Think picked the jw virgin??
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Think About It
I'll bet Think picked the jw virgin??
Bingo! I also figured out why they are virgins........they do not like sex!
Think About It
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iknowall558
What advice ? You've been baptized a year.....but please go back and find the scrunched up form for art college that you threw in the bin. Dont become a pioneer and spend two weeks of your life in the pioneer school. Dont bend over backwards trying to score points with the elders and the family of the brother you like in your congregation. Please retain your personality, and for God's sake, dont wear clothes that make you look like you should be in an episode of Little House on the Prairie.
Dont let your (future) father in law tell you, while working with you in the ministry, that you are a danger to his son, because you are a woman, and you need to have to sex , because , (not being a virgin, its difficult for you to be moral.) Please dont lose a stone in weight through pressure from an overbearing family, and judgemental elders pressuring you to not pioneer or to try and put a form in, because you are the subject of gossip in the congregation.
One of those elders in 2009 will tell your husband that you are worse than a whore, and your husband who is trying to defend you will then leave you a year later anyway, alone, with your two boys, your two young , beautiful, impressionable boys and will blame you for the fact he cannot stay with you anymore because you are suspicious and sad and broken.
Please dont fall to pieces when your husband is pushed into a corner to confess that he has been out behind your back for months, seeing a young, (teenage) sister from another congregation, while you have been in the house during the day wondering why he isnt home from work yet. Please dont believe everything is your fault......because its not!
Please dont take that first drink, when you find out your husband wasnt just seeing the teenage sister from another hall, but whatever teenage, young girl he could pull while out clubbing on at the weekend without you. And please try and sleep and forget that your husband isnt coming home until 6am in the morning.
The time that you both go to Oban, to try and work things out......please, please.....dont lose your mind over the fact that your husband left you in the pub alone after an argument and you had to walk home alone and were sexually assaulted on the way.
When the Elders see fit to call a meeting in the home of Ron Hunter to sort out your problems with another brother and his wife,.....please dont run out crying when he tells you, that your husbands wish (and 'joke' to his friend)was to give you Rohipnol, (date drug)...and "leave you to the locals".. (He didnt know that I had already been assaulted.)
When the CO comes to visit you, with your group study conductor, take 'two glasses' of wine before he comes, instead of the one. That way it would have looked like you only finished the 'small' drop in the bottle while he was there. You will tell him though, that you are upset that he has come to ask you if you have been raped...........! For 2 MEN to ask such a thing of a female.........and then to feel pressured into describing the assault........to convince them it wasnt a rape ........please dont feel humiliated, embarassed, ashamed, dirty.....that TWO MALES asked you these questions.
As a sexually abused child, you should be aware that your past will come back to floor you in a way that you never thought imaginable....IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOU ARE A PERFECLY WONDERFUL PERSON........dont allow yourself to feel worthless. Dont let your husband, elders, JWs, Watchtower rules or regulations make you feel you are shit.
In the year 2010 , you will realise how worthless all these other things are, and have been to you. You will still be angry, and resentful and will still be perhaps, maybe....be trying to find your way to God. Dont worry about it. Others round about you may have found what they are looking for....but God does not dwell in buildings and you dont need to be part of a church. Do what feels right for you. Dont look to fill the religion you have just lost. IT IS NOT NECESSARY! Look after yourself and your boys and keep your good friends close. Stop having dark thoughts.....keep painting...and please keep thinking that you are special......it will come good in the end.