How miserable are Witless Kids REALLY?

by hamsterbait 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    This thread is totally messing up for me. I cannot see all the answers on page one.

    I had posted this reminder of how miserable the kids must be and said a caption could be "We couldn't go to Disney World this summer so we would have time for this."

  • garyneal
    garyneal

    OTWO

    Little adults

    That's how the witchtower society wants all the kids to be.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Ask me about getting dfd at 16 and facing 2 committees. What fun I had.

    r.

  • LucyA
    LucyA

    When I was a Good little JW child I think I was happy. As I got older and started to notice all the restrictions on my sisters and I did really start to hate and resent it.

    The one thing I’m incredibly grateful for NEVER GOT BAPTISED!

  • purplesofa
    purplesofa

    I know I made my kids miserable.

    purps

  • WTWizard
    WTWizard

    Most are very miserable. They have nothing in the way of play time when they are toddlers--they are supposed to sit still for hours at a time, plus stay with their parents in field circus. There is no getting on the ground or picking things up, nor is there any playing in the snow in winter or in the leaves in fall. Just endless field circus. Spankings and beatings were liberally handed out for things like picking up something or making a noise.

    Later, they are sequestered. There is no talking with worldly children (bad associations) in school or the neighborhood. There are no holidays or birthdays. Children would see Christmas trees lit up, and other children with their new Christmas toys and a whole week to play with them. But they would have only the drudgery of wasting the whole time in field circus. Every vacation from school becomes "an opportunity to pio-sneer". And no college to look forward to--just more pio-sneering.

    At least in regular church, you are likely to have a couple of times a year where there is fun. I can remember once when, instead of a service, we were all herded outside. Where, there was a picnic table set up. We had fun and games outside that day, along with a picnic. You don't get any of that as a witless--and, since about 1993, I have not seen even a special day where we had any fun and games. This makes for a very stagnant (death-like stagnation) for the witless children, while the Washtowel Slaveholdery "eats" them by taking away every single bit of money and resources from these children, throughout their whole lives.

    Fact is, I think the difference bewteen what the Washtowel Slaveholdery does to children and the baby-eaters that were busted last July are simply that the baby-eaters get the job done more quickly and dramatically. They make the news, and (I hope) get nice long jail terms or the death penalty. The Washtowel Slaveholdery just takes some 60 or 70 years to accomplish the same thing, and it doesn't make the same spectacle (nor, unfortunately, does it result in very long jail terms or the death penalty for those in charge).

  • TardNFeatheredJW
    TardNFeatheredJW

    Overall, I was an unhappy child, but this was the result of a combination of events, not entirely due to religion. Outcast at school, violent father, cold and isolated depressed mother, outcast at the local hall for the most part. This formula will not make for a happy child, although I was quite content when accepted by my kind.

    In grade school I was the only dub besides my sister who was holier than thou. In HS there was 1 other kid, but he was a complete jerk. The real backstabber elder's kid type. In the limited association I had with him, my parents would get calls from his father and I would get punished for stuff this jerk actually made up.

    At the hall, being a spiritual fatherless child, I was pretty much an outcast except for 1 kid with whom I am still friends 35 years later (we play video games or cards almost every weekend). I did manage, once in Senior HS, after I got a license, to establish friendships with other dubs at neighboring halls. I really would not have minded being dub if I could have skipped service, meeting prep, and that awful BS every week. The holidays didn't bother me because I didn't know what I was missing.

    I would party w my dub friends, drinking, cruising, going to clubs. Then if I got caught I kept silent about who I was with, so no one else would get in trouble. The ones I partied with the most went on to bethel or became elders/ms.

    I didn't hate the religion, I hated the way it was shoved down my throat. I hated the authority the elders had over my household. I hated having no free time. I hated having to knock on classmates doors, which stank so bad for a skinny outcast kid living in a bigotted area where I was confused as a "jew" and beaten by various groups of hate-mongering bigots. Yes, I proudly endured the persecution for da troof. I didn't really learn to hate the religion until after HS. Then I choked it down, bought it lock, stock, n barrel until I realized I didn't have to anymore when they tried to control my own (adult) household by telling me and my wife how to dress, what to do, etc. I was about 23 or so.

    I would never subject my children to that life, and for that they have expressed gratitude. They have seen the inside of the KH thanks to my ex's parents. But one or two trips caused them to request to never attend again. I can't imagine how tough it must have been for someone who's parents converted and went full fledged into it if the kid was in their teens already.

  • maninthemiddle
    maninthemiddle

    5th-think a lot of people want to believe their JW upbringing was miserable.

    I had a great time growing up a JW. Kinda sucked at times being left out of some things but all my buddies stuck together.

    Well good for you.

    My wife had a good childhood also, her parents made sure she had friends, the visited other congreations, made up reasons to have parties, made sure she didn't feel left out at christmas. For witnesses they are the most down to earth and balanced one I know.

    I am sure her experince wasn't unique, but on the other hand my childhood was one of isolation, we had a few kids in our own hall that kept to themselves and when they decided they didn't like you this week, you were stuck at home. My parents never arranged social events, I couldn't have any friends outside the congreation, we never visited others, we rarely traveled and spent almost every weekend at home.

    It really varies widly, depending where you live. I lived in mostly rual area, there were only 4 congrations in a 50 mi radius. My wife on the other hand lived in a suburban/city area.

  • Jankyn
    Jankyn

    The advantage to being in a fairly small congregation in a fairly small town: Since all the JW kids were either older or younger than me, I wasn't really expected to hang out with them. Also, the long history of my family in the area meant that I had friends and relatives outside "da Troof."

    For me, school was a break from the constant pressure. None of my friends were JWs, and though my mother did try to "limit" my association, she also wasn't inclined to keep me isolated. She was very concerned that I be socially adept so that I would be more effective in the ministry. Her opinion was that the socially maladapted JWs (who at that time significantly outnumbered the socially adapted JWs in my congregation) weren't likely to be listened to in the service, while she and her gracious sisters would be (and were--at one time, my aunt had 18 studies going).

    So she put the kibosh on anything too outrageous, but still made sure that my clothes were fashionable, if not trendy, and that I didn't stick out like a sore thumb. Of course, my dad was df'd, so that may have made a difference, too. He simply wouldn't have tolerated any rules or demands that caused us pain; that's the best thing about his staying in the marriage and in the home after he was df'd.

    I wasn't bullied at school, and I loved it.

    Being well-socialized also made my transition out of the bOrg much smoother, as it did for my brothers. I know that my mother now regrets giving us too much of "the world" when we were younger. She's said as much on several occasions; the old "if I knew then what I know now, you'd have never been in the band" thing.

    On the other hand, I always felt extremely sorry for other JW kids, who seemed to struggle so much and were so isolated.

  • av8orntexas
    av8orntexas

    From what I saw, miserable to feeling that they are missing out on alot.

    My mom was a single mom and I played all sports in high school...and kept it a secret for quite a while....ahhhhhh, the power of keeping your mouth shut. Being in Texas, the high schools are rather large and being in a HS of 3500 you could not see other witnesses ever. I actually had a great childhood,as my mom was not hardcore until my last year of high school. Only got three christmas' but since we studied for like 12-15 years off and on, my mom allowed me to play sports as, I guilted her that I couldn't do anything else .Looking back I'm glad. I made a few friends. Most of whom have gone on to have great college careers and are doing great professionally and family wise. Sports and other activities for kids is IMHO great for helping kids grow socially and learning about other cultures , as you met and befriended other children/kids of socio-economic backgrounds,cultures,etc. And when you're young you could care less about those things because you're too busy having a good time with your buddies/girlfriends.

    My feeling is many Dub kids are happy with the circle of friends they have as Dubs,because it's all they know, and are allowed to have. But I see many who look, and in their speech sound like they'd rather be doing things normal teen kids do. From what I can see alot who do get baptized now as late as possible..either taking a chance and moving out at 18 if they can feel they can make it or taking the dip, and bidding their time.

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