by hamsterbait 43 Replies latest jw friends
25 years ago I lived in an apartment overlooking the grounds of the local High School.
At the time I still totally believed the LIE. A lot of the Dub students went to my Hell.
I noticed looking out my window, that the Witless kids always looked miserable and isolated. Yet in the Kingdumb Hell they would behave almost euphorically.
What was going on?
Certainly they were maladjusted. Some of them had the social skills of a nine year old.
Why was this?
HB
Can't get social skills unless you're allowed to socialize, which dub kids are not allowed to do except with each other. Blind leading the blind. And yes, I was miserable too except at the hall where I could talk to and attempt to befriend anyone without getting into trouble. My parents were/are social misfits, as well. So were their parents. I was a 4th generation, so the social retardedness was passed down to me.
Also, JW kids are taught to fear the world in which they move every day at school. It's very awkward.
In school the religon makes you prey, your life is full of don'ts that serve to exclude and isolate you. How can you fit in when you are constantly reminding your peer group that you are different. Human beings are social beings and it is no wonder JW kids look miserable, no one really wants to be out of the group.
At meetings they constantly get praise for being different and enduring persecution at school. They are told that here they fit in and are part of the group. It is a very clever control technique.
My HS had between 25-30 JW kids.
Most hung out and dwelled together in misery. Most complained about the JW restrictions, although it never seemd to stop them from smoking etc...
This was a time when mini skirts ruled, so JW girls really stood out as different. Plus, many JW parents didn't allow much make up. (1970's)
So, some would pin up the skirts while at school and take them down on the way home.
Socially, I thought they got along fine at the time. But remember, they were only pretending to be JW's and most left later.
being a born-in witness myself, I know that feeling first hand. I'd often look outside and see kids playing in the street acting like children and I would have to stay in my room pouring over scriptures with my parents for hours. The euphoric feeling came from just being around other children and the release from the cabin of your house. We were only allowed to play by ourselves when we went outside, if we were found playing with the neighbors kids we got into lots of trouble. What saved us children a little bit with the social skills part is that in my family there were six children, so we got to at least talk amongst ourselves a bit. But in school, I would have this mix bag of feelings and emotions. I felt superior than the other children cause I was taught that those who WEREN'T witnesses were going to die, but at the same time, you couldnt befriend them enough to really talk to them because, well, no kid wants to be preached to during recess or lunch and my witness parents said that befriending the worldly kids at school would automatically lead me down a path of corruption, drugs, pre-marital sex and eventually jail time. So, I felt lonely and excluded.
But also, I dont remember really THINKING about being a witness, I just HAD to do it, so I DID it.. just conditioned that way. From birth and onwards thats all it was , to me there was NOTHING outside of the witness religion that was safe or consider "ok" or "right", so when you went to the hall it was easy to just plug-in to what was going on. After a while the child like stuff whither away and I just coasted right along with them, not really knowing WHY i was clapping for someone who decided that it was better to quit a job and attend a YEARLY convention that pretty much had the same information as the one before and will be presented at the one following. But, i just did it anyhow.
You don't think, you just are commanded from birth to DO, do what your parents say, who in turn just DO what the Watchtowere told them. so there wasnt much socializing or talking outside of the witnesses. So now, as a 31.. well 32 in june, I'm a bumbling around with social situations in the real world like this was the first time I went to school like a normal child.
And whats worse, because growing up you heard all the praise and stuff given to the "exceptional" witnesses, and even though you were told NOT to compare yourself to anyone else, during talks and interviews, you were constantly giving examples of people you should "imitate". So that just added to the mixed bag of my childhood craziness. So far therapy is SLOWLY helping me untangle it all, but I can only IMAGINE what other witness children are going through.
One other thing I think witness kids might suffer from as far as socializing is concerned is that you're instantly given these glasses that show a very bleak picture of everyday people. That everyone thats NOT a witness is out to screw you over and treat you like dirt, so not only do you fear them, but you shy away from it and begin to almost have a loathing or hatred for those who arent witnesses. Which makes you really lonely if you dont grow up fast and get married and have more witness children.
Well, my parents weren't really that strict. So through my grade school years, I was allowed to play with the neighbor kids. When I got older I mainly hung out with the other teenagers at the hall. And we met up others from other congregations. We actually had a lot of fun. We did the normal stuff,movies, concerts, and parties. So, I really didn't feel deprived in any way. Of course, at school, I felt more isolated. And was a target for bullies. But, at the time I really didn't care to fit in at school, because I had a lot of friends at the hall.
We were given mud colored glasses through which to view the world, weren't we?
I think a lot of people want to believe their JW upbringing was miserable.
I had a great time growing up a JW. Kinda sucked at times being left out of some things but all my buddies stuck together.
Only thing I hate and am bitter about was not being able to play or pursue sports or go to college. Reg. Pioneered dontcha know!
5thGeneration - I wish with all my heart that it was just belief in my case. Would make my counseling sessions a lot shorter haha
