To Ex-JWs: Do You Regret Learning it Was a Lie?

by leavingwt 116 Replies latest jw friends

  • dgp

    Paul from Cleveland, your question does have something to do with learning that the WTBTS is all a lie, but I think you need to look at it from a different perspective. Yes, the WTBTS said you would never die, and learning that, no, you will indeed die, is not good at all. However, I know that some day you will overcome your fear of death. We are all born with it, and we all learn to accept death as a fact of life. When you're there, you might not regret knowing the WTBTS is but a lie. But, that is for you to determine.

    I think it would be very sad if they kept you hooked onto the lies on another lie, the promise that you would never die. This is manipulation by fear. It makes life, the one you do have, very miserable. And then, Paul, you would one day need to face death anyways. In my personal opinion, the pain of seeing the promise unfulfilled, the pain of knowing that you didn't enjoy the present because "something better" would happen, that would be far worse than spending life knowing that you would die, and, therefore, you should prepare yourself emotionally and psychologically, and plan for the future so your loved ones would be better off once you're gone.

    I hope the fear of death won't make you go back. That is for you to decide, of course.

  • ziddina

    Oh, good grief NO!! I knew there was something wrong from the age of 7 - 8; getting out was something I'd 'champed at the bit' to gain since I was 5 or so [when my parents first started studying].

    Still later on, when I realized the TRUE nature of the bible writers [i.e., ignorant, superstitious, misogynistic Middle Eastern men...], I thanked my lucky stars that I'd gotten out!

    (Funny story; I came to a more complete understanding [yes, JW buzz-phrase] of the nature of Middle Eastern men after taking up belly-dancing and associating with such men - a more vain, arrogant, self-centered group of smugly self-righteous chauvinistic males you would NOT want to be around!!)


  • diamondiiz

    NO WAY! I'm glad I've learned the truth about wts while still relatively young. I couldn't imagine learning this if I was on my death bed or if i've invested all my energy and money and life for them. It would be so depressing.

    How many of us know of someone who hasn't got married because the end is near and they will find that perfect mate in the new system. How many haven't had kids because you know - it's a bad time to have kids, so much better to wait couple more years and surely the end will be here. How many seen their loved ones die because they refused blood, organ transplants or vaccinations only to see these teaching change? How many spend decades pioneering only to be kicked out for questioning 607 or 1914? How many do we know that are still trapped in this cult that sucks life out of people and feeds them BS dream that will never materialize? How many generations died and need to die before this shit of a religion finally collapsed under the weight of it's BS!

    There is nothing more rewarding than knowing the truth and knowing that you're living for yourself and not for some roaches at the top of a pile of shit controlling your soul in any way they can under the banner of God.

  • looking4peace

    Ignorance is bliss in some senses. It did feel good to "know" that someone with all the power was interested in me personally and to feel like personal prayers were being answered by him. Letting go of that idea and realizing that it was only my perception that made it seem like prayers were being answered has left me feeling a little vulnerable for a time, but I am getting over it. When I was afraid or wanted a loved one to be protected and safe, it was natural to pray for that, but I realized I had no assurance it would be answered since so many innocent people become victims anyway, so it was a little empty feeling at best. To believe that I had been drawn by Jehovah to learn "the truth" made me feel special and valued, since I had some very negative relationships in my childhood that had left me feeling worthless. I needed that to survive emotionally for a time in my life, so it served a good purpose for that time. At the same time, I felt guilty shunning people who didn't see things the way "the borg" did and I felt guilty for not shunning them or following the rules too, so it was a lose/lose situation that was only one of the reasons I felt empty while actively pursuing my life as a witness. It feels so wonderful to be open to meeting and getting to know all kinds of interesting people now, choosing association based on personal qualities I admire and respect, not on man-made boundaries defining people as good or bad according to their membership in the WTBS. I cannot even imagine going back now...even though being inside the little box with my eyes blinded was easier and even helped me for a time to get to a place where it was safe to look beyond the box's walls. I feel cleaner pursuing goodness for the right reasons...not for some offered reward, and basing what is good on standards that resound with me.

  • flipper

    Don't regret it at all. I kind of suspected it for years while inside that it was a lie- but due to fear of rejection by family kept my doubts to myself. I've been so happy to gain freedom of mind and share that free thinking ability and spirit with others ! It totally ROCKS to be free of cult mind control. Now I'm gradually working on influencing some of my JW family members who are still in it. Being out of the witnesses enables you to pursue SO many things you had no time for before ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • lifelong humanist
    lifelong humanist


    Being raised as a 3rd generation JW put me at a serious disadvantage in learning 'how' and 'what' to think. Doing my MBA in 1994/5 taught me how to think and reason. Soon, my JW belief system crumbled. I started reading about alternative views as to how humans originated. I examined the premise of religious belief and the book they base their beliefs upon. I was shocked with the facts that I discovered. Once I was able to contemplate that there 'probably is no God', things began falling into place. What I'd been brought up to believe was just one big lie after another. I was delighted to be able to break free from the mind-controlling WT organization that sapped me of any free thought.

    It wasn't until 2003 that I DAd myself as I couldn't live a lie and remain a JW. Since then, I've realized that I'm really a Humanist, and am happy to be a member of the Scottish Humanist Society. I've met quite a few members that have impressed me with their humility and openness. I particularly enjoy their non-judgemental attitude to other points of view on all subjects. This is such a refreshing, different take on the WT indoctrination programme.

    My brother, sister and our 4 sons are all JW free. I'm still trying to free my JW wife from the cult, assisted by some of the methods described by Steven Hassan. This is still 'work in progress'!

    lifelong humanist

  • WTWizard

    I regret giving God, the witlesses, and religion a chance. That it was a lie makes it that much easier to discredit it all.

  • carpediem

    NO AND ABSOLUTELY NO! Ignorance is not bliss, I prefer to know the truth. If I had remained in ignorance I would have wasted my life being a slave to a lie. NO NO NO, I would not want that

  • nancy drew
    nancy drew

    this isn't the first time I've been burned. I,m like someone who is in the desert looking for an oasis and i keep thinking I see the answer to the meaning of life and I throw myself at it and I find out its wrong. however this last jw episode has finally helped me to learn I have to be more careful. I don't regret my mistakes I,m hoping to do better and I,m still searching and I still havn,t found what I'm looking for.

  • leavingwt

    Interesting comments, everyone. Thank you for all of your responses.


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