I will be honest. Most of the time I am happy that I now know the WTS is not God's organization. But some of the time I find myself wishing I just never found out and would have stayed a mindless robot.
Being technically "IN" and knowing the real truth has been both freeing (in the sense that I am free to think for myself and learn for myself) and at the same time it has made me feel trapped. Trapped in the sense that I don't know whether to completely leave the borg and risk losing half of my family and possibly causing a strain in my marriage, or just stay in to prevent all that but risk feeling like I'm leading a double life and losing who I really am. I enjoy the time I spend with the witness family I have, but it makes me sick to my stomach having to listen to all their stupid bs about how the world is bad and its a good thing we have the truth and field service this and meeting that.
I just feel lost at this point and don't know where to go from here. I guess what I really regret is not questioning the witnesses when they first came and talked to me so that I could have prevented this whole mess in the first place.